Beer

...winners this time, huh?

Oh, you enjoy being buried in the sand.

Would good friends really play this hard for a beer?

Well, it is Michelob Light.

The rich smooth taste you can compare to any beer you like.

Feemer, this is Adolph Norbecker,

President of Norbecker Breweries.

I just called to tell you that I'm watching some beer commercials.

And I am just loving what I am seeing.

There is only one problem of course, Feemer,

they're not my beer commercials.

Oh, look at it, oh, I wish you could see this.

They have speed boats going back and forth, full of guys and girls.

And what have you created for me?

What have you and your brain trust made for me?

A six-pack of nonsense

and I am not just whistling Dixie cups here.

I'm going to the Hark & Melrose Agency for lunch this afternoon, Feemer.

And I am going to see can they make me a commercial

that will keep my viewers awake!

I like your suit.

Who's your tailor?

Borrow it anytime you like, Dickler.

D-Y-K-E.

Gentlemen, good morning.

Good morning, Mr. Feemer.

Grace, I wouldn't be surprised if some of the gentlemen

wouldn't perhaps enjoy a cup of coffee

as per usual in our conference room meetings.

Yes, Mr. Feemer.

Gentlemen, I, uh,

I just got off the phone with A.J. Norbecker.

The man responsible for 62% of our business.

Ah, I know, it's ridiculous, but there you have it.

He doesn't seem very pleased

with our current ad campaign for Norbecker Beer.

Well, if you'll peruse the graph behind me here,

you'll notice that sales of Norbecker Beer are tapering off a bit.

In fact... They're plummeting!

Word has it that Norbecker's already talking with the Hark & Melrose Agency.

It's true. It's true. I am not fabricating this one iota.

Of course,

I reminded Mr. Norbecker that I have the best Ad men that money can buy.

Masters in their field.

Prize winning Ad men. The top, top Ad men that you can look at.

Of course, I lied. I told a whopper!

You're not Ad men. You're not the top, top. You're the bottom, bottom.

The little, little, tiny, weeny, little maggots,

walking around in this kind of configuration.

You are bird-witted bunglers.

Cabbage-headed twits. Am I right, Reemer?

- Yes. - You're fired.

Get out. Pack up your locker.

Put all your things in a little bag and walk on out of here.

Don't look back. Press the "down" button.

Gentlemen...

I promised Mr. Norbecker that we would come up

with a brand new concept to sell Norbecker Beer.

Ah, Smythe, you're the creative director.

Ah, have you got anything you can throw out at us here?

Ah, ah, yes, I certainly do. I certainly do.

I put together something here, um...

We get a bunch of guys, they work in construction.

And after a hard day's work,

they reach for some Norbecker Beer.

They all reach for a beer. Each one gets a beer.

Then they hold them up.

Yes?

That's it.

Symthe, you're fired!

Get out. Take your lunch box.

Walk on down the hall. Skate on out of here. Use the service entrance.

Get out. Get out! Get out!

It was an idea. It was an idea that I had. I thought they'd hold them up...

- Get out! - It was something that...

Out, Smythe, get out!

Now, who is it, uh, that we're trying to appeal to

with our current ad campaign for Norbecker Beer?

Gentlemen, who drinks Norbecker Beer?

- Mr. Feemer? - Yes, Miss Tucker.

What does the lady executive have to say?

Mr. Feemer, I think I know the kind of image we want for Norbecker.

- You do? - Mmm-hmm.

Enlighten us.

Mr. Feemer,

we need a specific kind of man to represent our product.

He needs to be very, very special.

A man with class. A man who exudes an aura.

A man for the '80s.

And yet, someone with whom every man can identify,

because that's who drinks beer.

Cone on. Move that car!

Nearly six billion gallons of it last year in this country alone.

Now, although women constitute a negligible segment of the market,

the guy we're looking for, should appeal to them as well.

- A man's man that every guy can relate to. - You're fired.

Sure of himself. Secure.

A man who stands out.

- Bye, Dad. - Okay. Take it easy.

Have a good day.

And yet blends in.

A man driven to be an individual

when society demands conformity.

America wants one of their own.

Let the people see a reflection

just a little bit nicer than they expected.

A man who chases his dreams

and won't let go until he runs them down

and makes them real.

Hey, it ain't paid for yet, God damn it!

What I'm saying, Mr. Feemer, is,

let's show an average man with the brains and savvy to stay on top of the world.

Excuse me, B.D.

But if he's got brains and savvy,

who is going to identify with him?

Certainly not you, Dickler.

B.D., I like it.

I'm not sure what it is, but it's got something.

See what you can work up on this.

You've got carte blanche on this one.

Everyone here will help.

Look at them as a think tank.

A fantastic brain trust.

A fertile reserve of concentrated thought.

The creme de la creme.

Now, if we all put our heads together on this one,

God knows what we'll come up with.

What's your angle on this, B.D.?

Oh, right now, concept-wise, I'm winging it.

I've got a beer in search of an image

and that's where you come in, Buzz.

Do the brewery people know that I'm on board?

I broke the news to Norbecker this morning.

How'd they take it?

Well, I'm not going to lie to you. They weren't crazy about it, Buzz.

I had to really go to bat for you. I really fought them.

But they want macho. And if anybody can give me macho, it's you.

My two-time award winner.

World War II flying ace. Huh?

I haven't worked in 10 years.

King of the westerns.

Washed up alcoholic.

Dry alcoholic. On the wagon.

You're not going to give me a problem, are you, Buzz?

You just put me behind that camera again.

You got it, Buzzy.

I lost my job today.

I'm such a moron.

My mom's going to kill me.

So, ah... What's your name?

- Merle. - I'm Frankie.

You know something, Merle?

You don't look too good. You from out of town?

I've been working my way north from Lubbock.

That's in West Texas.

I feel like I've been kicked out of every state between here and there.

But I reckon this here is the end of the line.

My car was towed away.

Welcome to the Big Apple.

Well, I'm gonna get towed away myself.

I'm going to get wrecked, then towed away.

Hey, Freddie, two more here.

And don't make 'em all foam.

Ah, you must be, ah,

Washington.

Ah, no sir. I'm Morrison. Elliot Morrison.

Oh, yes, Morrison. Morrison.

What can I do for you, Morrison?

Mr. Talbot, um...

I've been with this firm for close to eight years now.

Excellent.

Well, I'm still handling mostly bankruptcy cases,

but no corporate accounts.

That's fine.

You see, that's just what I wanted talk to you about.

Sir, I feel like I've been passed over by this firm.

I hope you're not accusing us of unfair discriminatory practices.

- No, sir. - No, sir.

Well, that's fine. Excellent.

Mr. Talbot, I need an advance.

I'm in a little bit of personal financial difficulty.

I'm overextended on some investments.

Did you use your little toothbrush?

I want to see my face in my shoes.

Yes, sir.

Mr. Talbot, I've got to have this advance. My wife...

My wife she doesn't even know. I... I... I've got to have it.

Calm down, Washington. Calm down.

I'll think about the advance.

Meanwhile, you stay in bankruptcy.

That way you'll have the experience to handle your own case.

The clean crisp taste that says Budweiser.

This Bud's for you.

- Freddie, my boy, how's the roast beef? - Rare.

Would you like a drink, my dear?

Can they make a decent martini in this place?

You bet. Double martini, straight up. Hold the fruit.

Ginger ale for me.

Charming, charming.

I like it. And when I'm in town, this is my place.