My Cousin, the Ghost (表哥到)

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Morning -Morning.

Lovely day -Yes.

Come to feed the pigeons -Yes.

Where have all the pigeons gone. There aren't so many.

We'll count then.

One, two, three.

They keep moving, they won't stay still.

Well, count them again.

All right.

One, two, three, four, five, six.

One, two, three, four, five, six.

All they've gone.

Bye-Bye -Bye.

Cousin.

What are you doing? Put it down.

Why are you acting sneakily?

I nearly chopped you by mistake.

You always wanted to chop me.

You always threaten to chop for nothing.

Don't you know you've no ID card?

Without me, you'd have been expelled back to HK.

And your shop would've closed down.

Kill this pigeon first.

There are some left from yesterday's batch.

Keep today's and kill yesterday's, idiot

I'll be off tomorrow -Why?

Come early tomorrow. I have an engagement.

Where are you going tomorrow?

Wei's wife wants to introduce me to girl.

What? Dating a Greek girl for marriage?

Only to be friends.

It's okay, but you must think twice

I've already thought it over.

Since you fail to get me PR status.

Marrying a Greek girl is the only resort.

It's better than imprisonment.

Hey, are those 2 dishes ready?

Would he take them raw?

Hurry up. The customer's getting impatient.

- Is our food ready? - I am coming.

Very Sorry, just a minute, please.

Alright then.

You've cooked the pigeon for almost an hour.

Why didn't you cook the vegetables till now?

And the 5 sweet and sour soups?

I know you were lazy.

So many shreds, what a waste!

I only have two hands.

And a pair of feet too.

It's most important to be alert.

Stop nagging.

Quit and see if you can find work.

You can't speak or understand English.

Don't be arrogant.

Me, arrogant? I'm on your side

I've provided for you all those years.

How are you going to square the deal?

Anything you say.

You're threatening to chop.

Without me you'd have slept in the streets.

You bastard, I'll chop you to death.

Don't try anything foolish.

At worst I'll quit.

You've no ID card, you're an illegal.

An illegal immigrant, to be exact.

Inform against me then.

- Who is the illegal immigrant? - He

I'm an immigration Officer, you'd better come with us.

Aren't you happy now?

I didn't do it purposely.

This is the final call for British. Airway Flight 03 to Hongkong.

Mako, Mako.

I didn't know he's an immigration Officer

I'm sorry.

Your pay so far amounted to $8,300

but after deductions, you only have this.

Take it.

The food on the plane is bad

I've specially brought this for you.

I know you don't have a good appetite.

Wear more on board for it's air-conditioned.

Take care.

Time's up, we have to go.

You'll regret all your life.

Please help yourself.

Which of you eat my pig?

Who'd have eaten the pig?

This is cousin's girlfriend.

Fat Maid, Pao,

come here.

Did you see that bride?

No.

- The old one? - No.

- What are you doing? - Go and see for yourself.

Cheers, cheers.

- Doesn't she look like cousin's girlfriend. - She really is.

Why throw a party over this?

Keep it from cousin. He can't stand the shock.

It would be horrible if he knew

his girl friend's marrying someone else.

Damn, I'll beat you to a frazzle

I'll beat your bloody hands

and your bloody feet.

Damn, I'll beat...

Mako, are you still angry with me?

We're cousins after all

I'll beat your bloody feet.

What? Who has no shoes on?

I... I don't

I'll kill you, damn cockroaches.

Cockroaches?

There have been cockroaches and rats.

What superstitious things you're doing?

You and your cousins are hopeless.

Luckily, your ancestor has left you a house.

Had I not hired you

you might have become street sleepers.

What's there to see? Back to work.

Uncle Mako.

Do you want to get paid?

Yes, but I don't know how to put it.

Come to the point. What's it?

I'm afraid you can't stand that.

Stop kidding. Speak up.

Your girlfriend's marrying someone else.

Uncle Mako, are you all right?

I'm okay.

He really is open-minded.

Look, he's crying sadly.

Of course.

You can find other girls.

Few people know what happened.

Resign yourself to fate.

They enjoy life; You work like hell.

Work hard if you envy them.

Cousin.

Well, are the vegetables done or not?

Calm down.

- Who takes care of the host's table? - I do.

Serve them well.

Okay.

Yours, yours...

Cousin Yung, your vegetable's poisoned.

Don't serve it to the guests.

Is this the only dish poisoned?

Don't just stand by and wait for death

I'm not the one to die.

What now?

Please help yourselves, everybody.

How can we eat like that?

It's wiped off now.

Go and change at once.

YES, SIR

You may get killed eating it.

Try.

Are you the host's family? Take it.

Yours, yours...

Hey, come here. Let's discuss it

I can't sneeze anymore. Let's take turns.

What happened?

Cousin is using poison -Poison?

Why stand there? Bring the dishes.

Okay, right away.

Bad, mixed up.

Which dish?

Go now.

Watch out. Which one's poisoned?

Be careful -Be careful.

Please help yourselves, everybody.

Cheers, cheers.

Watch out for flies.

Please help yourselves.

I won't trouble you. Yours...

Sorry, time to serve wine.

What now?

Fixed?

Yes.

What are we going to do next?

The Manager's over there.

Manger...

What are you up to?

We didn't do it purposely.

Mr Chiang wants you to see him, sir.

Mr Chiang, sorry, just now...

No way. You've made me lose face

I'll tell them to say sorry.

Jaws is ready to bite. Serve now.

Cousin Yung, I have no way out.

There are still stuffed crabs, chicken, fish.

Chow fan, red bean paste, etc.

Outrageous.

You can never find word elsewhere.

I don't want to see people killed here.

What?

The food is poisoned.

Shut up.

You've spoiled the atmosphere.

Cousin, no more nonsense.

Had you not poisoned it...