Single Papa (सिंगल पापा)

Congratulations, guys, you are finally married.

Congratulations!

-How can you be late even today? -I was unable to find a parking spot.

Finally, someone in our group got married.

-Hey, congratulations. -Thank you, thank you.

-To you too. -Thank you.

Don't worry. Getting married is not a big deal.

Shall we go for it?

Absolutely.

Are you sure?

We've already decided, so let's get it done.

Yeah.

TRUTH ALWAYS TRIUMPHS

So, you want to file for divorce by mutual consent?

Honestly, I just want a cute little baby weighing four kgs.

But we need mutual consent even for that, madam,

and she's not consenting to it.

I'm kidding.

But she's not kidding.

Why are you not kidding?

I mean… Sorry.

So, you don't want a baby.

Nope.

I had warned you beforehand to not get married to her.

Your horoscopes don't match at all, but you wouldn't listen.

Please have a glass of water and calm down.

-I'd rather drink her blood. -What are you doing?

Stop being emotional.

Divorce is like a heart attack now. Everyone's getting one.

And why didn't you let me come there? I would've kept you in check.

Don't you dare come here.

Our dream is to see you at the wedding aisle, not a divorce court.

Are you really on a video call inside the court?

Disconnect the call right now, or I'll send everyone outside.

-Keep it away. Sorry. -Sorry, ma'am.

Why did you get married if you didn't want children?

I fell in love with him.

So did I.

I dreamt of a different life with him.

So did I.

I had thought of a lot of things.

Appu… let's forget this.

We still have time.

We'll have to get IVF done if we delay it.

I don't want a child because I'm already raising one.

There you go. She's already raising someone else's child.

Gaurav, did you know about this?

Hey…

Living with him is literally like raising a child.

His dad still gives him pocket money.

-His mom buys his underwear. -So?

-Hey. -So?

And if he ever puts his own tea cup in the kitchen sink,

his family acts as if he's won a gold medal at the Olympics.

Objection, Milord! I don't drink tea. Only coffee.

-Isn't it? -Yes.

I don't think he knows why he wants a baby.

Hey, don't try to act smart. Ma'am, tell me something. What is life?

We're born, we attend school, then college, then we start working,

we get married, then have a baby. Isn't this what life is all about?

This is not life, this is called conditioning.

Madam, if they don't have children, how will our legacy continue?

It will be the end of our lineage!

They are Gehlots, not tigers who will become extinct.

It's not about extinction, man.

Madam, kids bring joy to our life.

I have a friend, Pawan. He had a son two years ago.

He's so happy now.

Every time I meet him,

he has a huge grin on his face as if he's in a toothpaste ad.

I want to feel that joy too.

I also want a baby who'd call me, "Papa, Papa."

-Madam, I love kids. I adore them. -Ma'am?

Ma'am, we have already finished our counselling sessions.

My decision is final.

I don't want to have kids.

And a childless marriage is meaningless to me.

Then shall I finalize the divorce?

This court grants a decree of divorce,

dissolving the marriage between the parties.

Fine.

Well,

how will my Guggu become a father now?

-Hi! Good morning. -Good morning.

By the way, GG, why did you have to do all that?

-What? -I've been ready forever.

As if you don't know.

Okay. Call me.

GG, today you're all…

Stop bouncing like a boiled egg.

Oh, no. The heart rate must stay high, Meenu Aunty.

-"Meenu." -Yeah.

Where's your mom? Isn't she coming for Zumba?

I asked her. She said she's not in a mood today.

Of course. She must be getting calls non-stop today.

Why? Her birthday is in April.

Don't play dumb, you little sneak. I know everything.

"Little sneak"?

What does she know? What's up with everyone today?

Reshma didi! Lemonade.

It's ready, bhaiya. With jaggery.

Yes, yes, it's absolutely issue-less, sir.

You look better in person than the photo.

Thank you. Which photo?

Ahlawat sahab, I'll call you back soon, okay?

-Good morning. -Good morning, Papa.

-What's issue-less? -"Issue-less" means…

there are no issues…

in the society.

-Everything is going well. -Really?

The committee chose some good members this time.

Since when have you been interested in our society matters?

Be honest. Are you keeping something from me?

-What is it? -This.

Their sneaky tricks. They never miss a chance to embarrass us.

What the fuck? "Wanted brides"?

"Thirty-two-year-old issue-less, innocent divorcee Jat boy.

Very handsome. Six-footer!

Owning two branches business.

Travel abroad seven times. US, Canada visa ten years received.

From reputed family,

looking for suitable alliance of same caste"?

-Is that me? -Don't you look cute in this, Guggu?

We thought that since you don't read the newspapers,

-you won't find out about it. -I won't…

The whole of Gurgaon knows! Then why won't I?

And am I six feet tall? It's full of lies!

And you've butchered English!

"Owning two branches business"?

Is it a business of two tree branches?

I wrote as well as I could. What else could I write?

That we run Badnaam Naams Wine bar?

-What-- -Hey, hey!

Are you ashamed of our business?

It's a respectable business.

People call it "Wine Mart," out of respect!

Just focus on your son!

You should focus on yourselves. And take the focus off of me.

You are obsessed with getting me married again.

I want a baby, not a wife.

I'm going to take a shower. And this…

Get this taken off the newspaper! Unbelievable!

Careful.

When did you start reading newspapers?

-Cheers, my broski! -Cheers!

Hey, Casanova, you're lucky you have Vivaan.

-What are you doing? -Yes, bro.

Grass is always greener on the other side.

And beer is always colder in the other glass.

Come on, man.

-Bro, you're the lucky one. -Me? How?

Not everyone gets the opportunity which life has gifted you with.

Which opportunity?

You've escaped the matrix, bro. You're single again, man.

Learn to identify your own power!

Look at her.

That girl with fake lenses has been eyeing you forever.

You can see her fake lenses from here?

Yeah, I'm Peyush Bansal, owner of Lenskart after all.

You fool!

I'm showing you a girl, and you're concerned about random stuff?

She's great. Shall I go talk to her?

-Are you sure? -Yes!

Watch your step.

Hi. I'll have the same.

Hi.

That's all. I don't have any pick-up lines.

Isn't that a pick-up line?

Really?

Is this all it takes nowadays?

Look like the tiger has escaped the cage after ages.

Break-up or divorce?

Take a guess.

If a good-looking hunk like you was single and ready to mingle,

I would've known!

Divorce?

If I had met a sexy girl like you sooner, I would've never gotten married.

I'm Gaurav, by the way.

Inara.

Inara.

Is that your real name?

Yes. Why?

Back in my day, girls were named Puja, Neha, Priya.

This is rather filmy. Like the Samaras and the Kiaras.

I mean, Inara is also a good name.

Really?

Anyways,

so, Inara…

Should we go somewhere quieter where we can listen to each other?

Sure.

-Put it on silent. -What?

Baby.

You're calling me "baby" already?

Naughty, naughty.

I meant your crying baby ringtone.

It's killing the vibe.

That's not mine. It must be yours.

That's not a phone.

What the heck?

What the fuck?