Murdercise

911, what's your emergency?

Hi,

could you send somebody over quickly, please?

I think there's an intruder in my house.

Okay, ma'am,

I can send someone out to your area.

- What's your address? - Hello, police.

Um, just a second.

Hi.

We're responding to some suspicious activity in the...

Yeah, I called. I called.

Are you here by yourself?

Yes. Come in, come in.

Great, great.

John, boy, what do you say we protect and serve?

Hi. Thank you for sending them so quickly.

They, they just got here.

Do not let them into your home.

We haven't sent anyone out to your area yet.

What do you mean? They're already here.

Hello?

Ma'am, are you there?

What's happening? Hello?

Ma'am?

Hello?

Ma'am?

Hello?

Five, six, seven, eight, and stretch.

And bounce.

And turn.

And stretch.

Stretch

around.

Around.

Bend it over, girls.

Whoo.

Five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three, four,

five, six, seven, eight.

Now stretch

those legs, ladies.

Stretch again.

Oh, yeah.

And again.

One more time, girls.

Oh, as big as you can.

Yes.

Now bend on over and stretch those hamstrings.

Oh yeah.

So good.

Oh my,

cut.

Excuse me.

What is wrong with you?

Cut? You don't get to say cut.

I say cut.

Phoebe, what the hell is the matter with you?

Everything was going beautiful.

I'm uncomfortable with the choreography.

Candy is showing her nether regions to the camera.

So?

So? It's vulgar.

We're not making it porn, are we?

Uh, eh...

Well, it makes me uncomfortable.

This is what the audience wants, kid.

I mean they don't care about the exercises.

I mean, they just wanna wank the weasel,

pardon my French.

Well, I care about fitness.

I care about the health of our children

and the obesity rate in our country.

We have a responsibility, just like the president says.

Look,

tell you what, kid, I promise you,

I will tell the cameraman to go easy on the zoom lens, okay?

All right.

Now get on out there.

Hey, we're burning videotape here,

and that stuff ain't cheap.

Get some more tight shots of the goodies, okay?

Yes, sir.

Get it?

Got it? Good.

Yo, Chiefy,

want me to get up there and fix these lights?

No, the lights are fine, Chuck.

No, what I'm saying is I can make 'em better.

We're good, man.

Trust me.

Listen, I'm already putting on my gloves.

Charles.

Okay. Okay, okay.

Coach, you make the plays, I back the plays you make,

okay?

I'll get my ladder just in case.

At first, Los Angeles police

thought the murder of a female prostitute last month

was an isolated act of violence.

But since then, they've come to believe.

God, I'm starving. - It was connected

to a series of assaults by a killer

who has become known as The Skid Row Strangler.

You want me to get you a soda from the vending machine?

Um, maybe later.

They have diet Mr. Pib?

No.

You sure?

Yeah.

Whatever.

Huh? - Chuck.

Holy shit.

Will you get me a soda

from the vending machine?

You know my name?

Yeah.

Lucky for you,

I got a pocket full of change just for you.

I love you. I got you.

Get outta the way, fuck.

Nikki, what are you doing?

You can't eat fast food.

That cheeseburger is gonna make you slow and heavy.

Don't worry about it.

I'll burn it off, okay?

I'm a stripper.

Do they allow you to eat burgers when you work the pole?

Freddy, that is so degrading.

Hey, pole dancing does wonders.

I teach classes at Gold's on Ventura, helps me stay in shape

for my wrestling matches.

You're a wrestler?

Yeah. Oil, mud, jello, whatever.

Gino was one of the judges.

What is this world coming to?

Wanna see a move?

No, I don't.

I, I said no.

Oh, my God.

Where did Gino get this square?

For your information, Candy,

I got this job because Gino noticed my leadership skills

while I was at work.

Don't you work at that corn dog place at the mall?

Oh, I get it now.

Gino saw have you pumping up and down making the lemonade

like, "Ah, ah, ah, oh, yeah, give it to me."

Maybe that's how you got this job.

I am an actress, okay?

I am just doing this

because it's another stepping stone in my career.

That's why I'm on the cover.

Thank you, dear.

Mm-hmm, do you want a straw?

If you don't mind. - I don't mind at all.

You know, this may just be another job to you guys,

but this means the world to me.

I wanna change lives.

We're supposed to be role models.

You've gotta be kidding.

All right, ladies, come on.

Let's do it again.

Come on, come on, come on.

Break time's over. Hustle, hustle.

Make it look like you wanna be here.

All right, let's get sweaty.

All right, roll camera

and action.

Five, six, seven, eight, and stretch.

And bounce.

Gino.

Oh, Donna Stromboli.

How ya doin', you little bastard.

Cut.

I want you to meet Dominica Stromboli.

Her and her husband are putting up the money

for this little video masterpiece.

Candy,

come here a minute.

This is Candy.

She's our cover girl.

Isn't she gorgeous?

And she's a real actress too.

What was the name of that picture of yours again?

It's "The Co-ed Butcher."

Oh. - Nice.

That's it.

Oh, great picture.

Great picture.

It's so nice to meet you, Mrs. Stromboli.

I really hope to meet Mr. Stromboli someday.

Oh, you look like you're trouble to me.

I'm keeping you away from my husband.

Gino.

Huh?

Who's that hot, young stud over there?

Uh, that's Mikey,

uh, just outta film school.

Maybe we should get him in some little shorts

doing some jumping jacks.