Sabrina, the Teenage Witch

Now stretch and focus.

Can you feel the blood rushing to your brain?

No but I feel my lunch making a move.

This is no fun!

If you don't enjoy yoga, you don't have to do it.

It's easy for you to say, you're winning.

There is no winning and losing in yoga.

It's different from other sports.

It's more spiritual, and you can't get hit in the face with a ball.

Now let's move on to a meditation.

Assume the lotus position.

Can we assume I've assumed the lotus position?

Now let's chant.

Ummm what do we do now?

We empty our minds.

That I can do.

Now release your burdens and lighten your load.

- Zelda! - What?

I thought you said this was low impact?

S01 E14 Sabrina Through The Looking Glass

My biosphere! Just what I needed.

What was that?

Hilda. Would you be a love and check my stocks?

Not me! Not today!

- She's stomping already? - I don't believe this. Look!

Look!

Whoa! Who's your friend?

- It's her first wart as a witch. - Oh let me get the camera.

No! It's gross.

How did I get it? And how can I make it go away?

Usually they're caused by stress. Just calm down and it'll disappear.

I'm calm. I'm calm.

It's still there! I can see it. What am I gonna do?

Harvey and I are supposed to give a report on the rain:forest today but

I am not going to school like this.

You can't skip school because of a wart. It's part of being a witch.

It happens to all of us.

I once had one on the end of my nose for a decade.

Actually it wasn't that funny, I wanted to die.

Just be glad you can cover yours with a baseball cap.

Orioles? I didn't know you were a baseball fan.

I'm not, I'm a Brady Anderson fan.

He is hot, I love those side:burns.

Yeah, I may be a house pet but I totally see it.

Now you're all set. Off to school.

I feel like a balding middle:aged man..

only more bitter.

Are you sure I can't just make it a snow day?

No!

But everything's going wrong. Look, I even broke my biosphere.

And my magic wont fix it.

Oh I bet it's number seven plastic.

It repells magic and it can't be recycled.

Great!

Great! Great! Great!

That's the spirit.

I was being sarcastic!

So was I.

Oh great!

Great! Great! Great!

Sabrina, I need your help. I have a burning question.

Now is not a good time, Jenny.

I was supossed to meet Harvey in the library five minutes ago,

so can we talk about it at lunch?

Sure! I'll just save my burning question till then.

Oh good morning Sabrina. Hey you're an Orioles fan.

What? Oh yeah.

Oh love that Brady Anderson.

Bet he hits another fifty homers this year huh?

Wouldn't that be great.

Great! Great! Great!

He's not here. Great!

Where were you? I've been waiting.

Sorry. My bus was late.

Hey cool hat! I didn't know you liked the Orioles?

I do today.

- Well can I try it on? - No!

Er okay. Let me show you what I made for our project.

Now first this biosphere was going to show how the rain:forest is a perfect, self:suporting ecosystem..

but I dropped it.

So now it shows the devastation caused by greedy timber companies.

It's just a jar o' dirt.

It's called de:forestation!

Okay! Okay!

Now I have something to show you.

Just what our project needs.

He's the last of the spider monkeys but you can call him...

Marty.

Hi Sabrina!

A puppet?

See I think our message will be much stronger

if we give the tragedy of extinction a voice and a name.

Marty?

We can change it.

The point is he lives in the rain:forest, he has credibility.

Watch.

See my prehensile tail?

It's a feature found only in new world monkeys.

I'm trying to like it.

I'm making every effort.

I hate it.

But it's a guaranteed 'A'! Mr. Pool'll eat this up.

We're sticking with the biosphere.

You mean the jar o' dirt.

It's a biosphere!

As you pass the biosphere around I think you'll see what Sting is so upset about.

It's just a jar of dirt!

That's enough Libby.

Sabrina, please continue with your project.

That is the project.

Huh! What's the point?

Yes! Um what's the point..of the rain:forest?

Well it's:it's home to millions of insects,

plants and animals including the spider monkey.

Did someone say spider monkey?

Who are you?

I'm Marty, the rain:forest spokesmonkey.

Delightful!

Harvey! Put the monkey down.

We begin our story deep in the Amazon..

..So weep not for me, weep for the fate of the earth.

Isn't that right, Sabrina?

What? Oh er yeah!

What the puppet said.

It was terrific! Very creative.

You:you really brought extinction to life.

Now before class ends, are there any questions.

Yeah! Are you two free for my little brothers birthday party?

All right, er read chapter twenty:seven

and how about a big hand for Harvey and Sabrina huh?

I have never been so embarrassed in my whole life.

What! Come on, the monkey saved our butts.

Hey guys, can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street?

See? Everyone thought it was lame.

Mr. Pool didn't.

Like I care what Mr. Pool thinks!

Sabrina!

Oh great! I need sugar, I'm going to lunch.

Can I come too?

Look, I just want to eat alone.

I was just trying to cheer her up.

Hi Sabrina.

'The Bell Jar'! Three puddings!

This can't be good.

It's not.

D'you wanna talk about it?

No. Didn't you have a burning question or something?

Oh yeah.

See, lately I've been feeling like people aren't paying attention to me.

Get a puppet.

No, I wa:I was thinking of cutting my hair ust to shake things up but it's a big decision.

Or fifty thousand little ones.

I'm serious. Sometimes I feel like I'm a prisoner of my own curls.

Really? That's fascinating, please go on.

Well, when people se my hair they think..

- Hey Sabrina. - Libby, what do you want?

You know, I forgot. There was something I wanted to ask you about your project.

Yeah?

If the earth's tropical forests are being wiped out at a rate of

sixty:seven acres a minute then how come you're wearing that stupid hat?

- Give it back! - What is that?

Snow day!

Hey wart:face. You forgot your hat.

And you forgot you're a goat!

Now go climb a mountain.

Great! Great! Great!

Hello Sabrina, you stormed in. oh! Is that your blizzard?

Yeah, I blanketed the entire Northeast.

Oh and in local news I turned Libby into a goat.

Come talk to me.

What's the matter?

What's the matter?

I have to be a witch, I have to be a mortal,

I have to be a teenager and I have to be a girl all at the same time.

That's what's the matter.

Hey! At least you've still got your thumbs.

And a door on your bathroom!

Hey look! I've found my Brady Anderson baseball card.

Who cares? Brady Anderson is nothing to me.

Sabrina!

How could you say such a thing?

I'm in a bad mood.

Hey! I know what'll cheer you up.

Flaun.

Flaun.?

The happy dessert.

Everyone loves the custardy goodness of a wiggly:jiggly flaun.

You can have my share. I just want to be left alone.

But flaun!

I can't believe this. It looks awful.

It's huge!

If you took it to a movie it would want it's own seat.

At least someone agrees with me.

I'm so sick of people trying to cheer me up.

I hate when they do that. You can be in a bad mood if you want.

No:one else thinks so.

Everyone keeps trying to make me feel better and I just want to be left alone.

You know what I mean?

You could come in here. No:one will disturb you.

- Can I do that? - Sure.