The Spoilers

You want to get rich in this country, you ought to marry a hen.

Brother, I did.

Only she can't lay no eggs.

No. No, not for 200. Not for any amount.

Yeah, but I tell you, I gotta have a room.

I tell you, I just ain't got a room.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Guest just checking out.

Lee Marcus. Take 24, right on down the hall.

Oh, yeah. Much obliged.

Wait a minute, flapjack! Wait a minute!

Flapjack! What are you aiming to do?

I'm getting me a gun, some liquor and a gold commissioner.

Snake juice, and plenty of it.

Hello, flapjack, what are you doing in town? Claim Peter out?

If it had, them mangy warthogs wouldn't have jumped us.

So they got you, too, eh, flapjack?

Sure. We were just working along, kind of peaceful-like,

when at least 20 of them jumped us, so what chance did we have?

You still have five fingers on your gun hand, ain't ya?

You mean to tell us flapjack was chased off his claim and didn't do nothing?

Didn't do nothing?

Why, he polluted the gulch with language that shouldn't be inside of no man

without being fumigated.

What good did it do? They had the law with them.

Huh! The law.

What are we anyway, a bunch of hibernating siwashes

take a thing like this laying down?

What are you gonna do about it?

I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.

Listen, fellows, I'm getting me a gun.

And any of you wanna come along will see plenty of action.

If it's action you boys want, the games are open, the roof the limit.

But if you're really playful, I'll take that off, too.

Now look here, cherry, that ain't the kind of action we're talking about.

Is there some other kind?

Yes, ma'am.

They went and hopped my claim and I ain't a-gonna take it sitting down.

You're gonna do some shooting, eh, flapjack?

You bet I am. And some hitting what I shoot at.

Now, now, now. Don't be in a rush. Maybe we better think this over.

I don't want to have to walk out one morning and find you

standing under that old sycamore with your feet just off the ground.

But you grubstaked me to this claim yourself.

So I have something to say about it.

Now, you and banty have another drink and stay here.

Looks like they're jumping from one claim to another

like so many grasshoppers, doesn't it, bronco?

Yeah.

Seems like all you got to do to get a man's claim away from him is to file an affidavit.

So far, they're only the small ones. Meaning what?

Well, there's no reason their system can't work with the big claims.

Such as the mid as?

With both owners away, why not?

Maybe someone should call on the gold commissioner. What's his hame?

Alexander McNamara, according to his billing.

Shall I drop in on him?

No. First, let's do a little checking up.

My way.

Good morning, cherry. Harry.

Hello, cherry. How are things, bill?

Just fine, thank you.

Morning, Seth.

Ravishing as usual, miss malotte.

Glad to see you're out of jail again, Mr. Skinner.

A temporary arrangement only. I'll be back in again by nightfall, I dare say.

Well, well, miss malotte.

Why, this is certainly a pleasure to see you here.

Thank you, Mr. montrose.

I want some information about the ownership of a claim

registered under the name of flapjack Simms.

Simms? Simms. Simms, yes.

Simms, Simms, Simms.

Here we are. That's been relocated.

It has? Under whose name?

Why, a Mr. Clark and a Mr. Bennett.

We have their affidavit right here.

Let's see now. Clark, Bennett. Clark... Oh, yes, here we are.

There we are.

Clark and Bennett. Clark and Bennett.

Now, see? Can I see this, monte?

Now, you won't mind if I borrow this, will you, monte?

Nice place to keep my records, but the question is, what about access?

You got to that one easy enough.

Did all right, didn't I?

I'm cherry malotte. I suppose you're Mr. McNamara.

G.c., gold commissioner.

Tell the marshal I want to see him, will you, montrose?

Yes, sir.

Putting me in jail, Mr. McNamara?

Serious business, stealing government records.

Got some particular case in mind? Mmm-hmm.

The claim of flapjack Simms.

I grubstaked him. I know he made the original discovery.

Now Clark and Bennett swear they filed in the spring.

And I know they didn't come to nome before November.

That's why I want this affidavit as evidence.

Strong talk, miss malotte.

But I'm here to protect the interests of the small owner.

Mmm-hmm.

But if you happen to be, let's say, smart,

you could do yourself a lot of good, couldn't you, Mr. McNamara?

I'm wondering just how smart you are.

Well, I've been educated.

So have I. So how you operate is no concern of mine.

I mean, with two exceptions. The Simms claim...

And a certain mine, the mid as.

Well, that puts us into the big-money class, doesn't it?

Got an interest in the mid as? Mmm-hmm.

Stock? No, not exactly.

Oh, personal. One of the partners? Glennister?

We're acquainted.

Well, I don't know much about him, but offhand I'd say he has good taste.

Thanks. He does all right in other ways, too.

Not a man to be pushed around, Mr. McNamara.

Big fellow, eh?

Might make it interesting, would he, if I wanted to move into his territory?

Could be tough going, mister.

But worth it.

So...

Commissioner, what's this I hear about you wanting me to arrest miss malotte?

No, no. I want you to round up Clark and Bennett right away.

There are a few questions I want to ask them.

Yes, sir. Well, cherry, I...

Some other time, marshal.

You'll always be welcome.

You work fast, commissioner. Thank you.

And since you have a safer place to store papers than I have,

perhaps you'd better keep this.

Fair enough?

Well, I could be wrong.

If I should happen into the northern some night, would you show me around?

Show you around? Sure.

If it could be done. Goodbye.

And I've been here all this time. Somebody should have told me.

About Clark and Bennett?

Yeah... no.

About cherry malotte.

You met McNamara?

Let's say he met me.

And you found out?

He's either a very honest man, or this town is really up against it.

Well, after we'd run into bedrock after digging for three weeks,

well, we started to...

Look, the boat's here! Boat!

Come on, you sourdoughs, the boat's in!

The boat's in! Come on!

Come on, get out of here! The boat's in!

Come on, the boat's in!

He's back, bronco, he's back.

You're pretty sure he's on that boat, aren't you?

If he isn't, I'm going to find out why not.

Shall I get the buggy out?

Yes. I'll be right down.

Bronco, never mind that buggy. For once, I'll let him come to me.

Idabelle?

Idabelle?

Idabelle?

Idabelle, where are you?

Here I is, miss cherry.

Here I is.

What are you doing with that dress?

Just smoothing it out a bit.

I heard that loudmouth baboon yelling that the boat was in.

I figured y'all wanted to meet it in style. You did, huh?

Well, you can unsmooth it again. I'm staying right here.

What? Mr. glennister is sure enough on that boat, ain't he?

Sure enough is.

Better get a dozen bottles of Brandy and one egg, miss cherry.

Eggs is scarcer than watermelons around here.

I don't care how scarce they are. Get them.

There's two things he goes for in a big way, and one of them is hard-boiled eggs.

I reckon the other's ice cream, huh, miss cherry?

I sure hope there's some colored folks on that boat.

I's getting mighty tired pretending eskimos is from Virginia.

She sure makes this old saloon smell nice.

Cherry.

I knew you couldn't hold out.

Makes me some kind of a fool, doesn't it?

No. It makes you the right sort of a gal.

Only it seems a shame to turn on all that good heat for a guy like glennister.

You never will like him, will you, bronco?

No, and you know why. Giddap.

That looks like glennister.

Up you go.

She could be a relative.

Yeah. Maybe his aunt Hetty.

Roy, you old sinner. Cherry.

It's good to see you, sport. How are you?

Better now. For a few minutes, I wasn't so sure.

This is Helen Chester. Cherry malotte.

How do you do, miss malotte? Roy's told me all about you.

Oh. Oh, well.

No need to ask if you enjoyed your trip, miss Chester.

I know Roy's talent for entertaining on shipboard, don't I, Roy?

Easy, cherry.

Traveling alone, miss Chester?

No. I'm with my uncle, judge Stillman.

He's coming ashore with Roy's partner, Mr. dextry.

Judge Stillman?