Drop Dead Diva

That was me... Deb... until the day I died.

I thought I'd go straight to heaven,

but there was a bit of a mix-up

and I woke up in someone else's body.

So now I'm Jane,

a super-busy lawyer with my very own assistant.

I got a new life, a new wardrobe,

and the only people who really know what's going on with me

are my girlfriend Stacy and my guardian angel, Fred.

I used to think everything happened for a reason...

Whoo!

...And, well, I sure hope I was right.

Hi. I'd like a...

double decaf nonfat caramel macchiato.

But instead of caramel, can I get a skosh of vanilla syrup?

And can you make it cold... but not too cold

so it's refreshing but it doesn't hurt my teeth?

Woman: You've got to be kidding me.

Excuse me?

Yeah.

Oh...my...God.

You're j-Jane.

I mean, before I became Jane.

Why am I taller than you?

Because, miss...Booty bounce...

You're wearing 4- inch heels,

which are impractical, cause lower-back disk compression,

while I am wearing comfortable shoes

that don't hate women.

Okay.

Heels create a line, elongating my silhouette.

It is not your silhouette.

It's mine!

You are walking around in my body,

driving my Porsche, with my bank account.

Look, who gave you the right to take over my life?

Just one moment. It's my phone.

Don't you dare answer that phone while I'm talking to y...

Shh.

Hey!

I deserve some respect!

Hey!

Ohh.

Good morning.

You in the mood for an algae/tofu omelet?

It'll make your skin glow and intestines flow.

I'd rather chew on my briefcase.

But...Thank you.

So, I just had a dream that old Jane was yelling at me.

Fred: Jane, we're late!

Kind of like that.

Ah...

Fred.

Uh, you in the mood for an algae/tofu omelet?

That sounds... delicious...

But I am already glowing and flowing.

Um, Jane, I'll be in the car.

Stacy... Have a great day.

Sweetie. Hmm?

Do you know what you just did?

Is this a riddle? I love riddles.

You wiped off your zit cream when Fred came in the room.

That's not a riddle.

You only do that when you care about the way you look.

Like when the cute guy comes to fix the elliptical...

which I think you broke on purpose last time.

Is it possible that you like Fred?

What? No.

Fred? Mnh-mnh.

Fred... I mean...

He's just Fred.

Just Fred.

If you say so.

Bye, sweetie.

Bye.

No.

So, I'm thinking the montage in Laguna this weekend?

The sea, the sand, and a very attentive manservant?

Mm. I like that idea.

Although I don't know. It all depends.

My boss might expect me to work,

seeing as how he just pulled me into another one of his cases.

Your boss did that? What's up with that guy?

I need to talk to him.

What was that about?

What?

Eileen. She works at a p.R. Firm on the seventh floor.

Oh.

Let me guess... You used to date her.

Yes. Yes, I did.

So...What went wrong?

What do you mean?

Why don't you talk to her?

Because...It's over.

What is there to say?

Apparently, nothing.

What's that?

A clown.

Good. You see it, too.

He was in reception, but Deedee got all wigged out,

so she put him in here.

Teri, didn't Kim and I reserve the conference room for my 9:00?

You did, but I put your client in your great big office.

I didn't think you'd mind.

Bingum, get the clown out of there.

It's disruptive.

Why me?

Because, Jane, he's your 9:00.

I produce a reality show called "The One."

We've been on the air for 11 seasons.

I never miss it.

Unless someone deletes it off my DVR.

I'm sure it was an accident.

Tell me about the program.

Oh, one handsome, eligible bachelor

chooses his bride-to-be from 30 desperate hopefuls.

And one of the hopefuls is suing you?

Wendy Simon.

No way. "Weeping Wendy"?

Uh, this season's runner-up.

Everyone thought she was the one,

but then in the final episode, in a huge upset,

he chose Annabelle.

Wendy went to pieces... screaming, tears,

snot running out of her nose.

I watch in HD. It's a total train wreck.

Oh, but fantastic television.

It's like watching a nervous breakdown

sponsored by volumizing shampoo.

Uh, she's suing me

for intentional infliction of emotional harm.

A.J., all of your contestants sign release forms, correct?

Yes. Yeah, of course.

I'll file a motion to dismiss.

We'll be done by lunch.

Hello.

Um, I'm Jane Bingum.

Uh, Evan Robbins. Nice to meet you.

Uh, it's my pleasure.

I- T's okay.

I thought there might be a buzzer.

Ah. I get that a lot.

So, on the phone, you said "wrongful termination,"

but you didn't give me any details.

Right... I...wanted to make sure

you'd at least meet with me before saying no.

Okay.

Uh, can I get you something to drink... water or coffee?

N- no, thank you.

It smears the smile.

Of course.

So, wrongful termination...

Were you fired from the circus?

Uh, I'm a sales-account manager for context communications,

a mobile-service provider.

And why were you let go?

I'm pretty sure it's for dressing like a clown.

Oh. Right.

How long have you been dressing like a clown?

About six months.

Um, these are my employment records.

My reviews are excellent, and I've been promoted

the times over the last four years.

Hm.

Well, that's very impressive.

So...Why not just stop wearing that?

I don't want to.

It says one month fore you started wearing that,

you took two weeks off for bereavement.

May I ask why?

Uh, my, um...

M- my wife died...

In a car accident.

M... I'm sorry.

Look, I-I appreciate you taking your time,

and I don't expect you to understand what I've been through,

so if you don't want to represent me, it's okay.

I didn't say that.

No, I saw the way everyone in your office was looking at me.

And I don't want to cause any problems, so...

Evan.

I will absolutely take your case.

Damn it, Bingum.

I just got your new-client memo.

You're representing the clown.

To be ear, Harrison & Parker is not a novelty firm.

Well, not to be argumentative,

but didn't we just litigate chimp-custody case?

Yes, and the chimp was appropriately dressed.

This case waste of time.

It was their third anniversary.

His wife died in a car accident.

Evan is...grieving.

I'm against this. Duly noted.

You just heard how Parker feels need a second about my client.

Well, the guy's grieving for his wife.

I might ha some insights.

Right.- Of course.

I'd love your help.

Yes, two V.I.P. tickets to the "Kiss and Make-up" expo.