Dag

Fuck!

Fuck!

- Good morning. - Shit, shit, shit...

- Did you oversleep? - You were supposed to wake me!

- Did we agree on that? - I was supposed to be up at 8.

I wasn't getting up early, so why was the alarm in my room?

Because it's the Elvis clock. If Elvis is the first thing you see, -

- things can't be bad. We discussed this last night!

- It's not that important to me... - It is important!

Does this look like a face that woke up to Elvis? No, it doesn't.

I'm sorry.

Fuck.

No, no, no...

Can I help in any way?

Could you just turn everything off?

Yes.

And maybe you can just fry up some bacon?

Forget the bacon. I don't have time. I'll eat the bacon already there.

OK.

And add salt. Lots of salt.

- Like that? - Really good.

- What time is it? - Almost nine thirty.

I should have had it in the fryer too.

I have to be somewhere before work. And I should have been at work already.

- Bye then! - Taxi to Waldemar Thrane Street 63A.

Not time, Bergersen, see ya.

Time? I've been waiting here for an hour!

Sorry!

Who should you ask for advice when the child in you dies?

So this is where you are?

The world's silliest rhetorical question. Much like "Aren't you at work?"

No, I'm not... Yet. How are things at your dad's?

Just fine.

Fine? Is that good? It sounds a bit like "second best".

Sorry, Uncle Dag, please ask mum to call me. This is just painful.

- Calling in the big brother. - Marianne didn't send me.#

If she knew, she'd kill me. She's just not very happy at the moment.

Since you moved in with your dad.

After she's sacrificed her life for you.

So you're telling me to move back to my mum's? Is that it?

And if I move back, Eva will move back in too. Does that have anything to do with it?

Listen, your dad is almost never home, -

- so you practically live by yourself, which you are too young for.

Sorry, Uncle Dag, I've got work to do.

See ya.

Hi. How are we doing?

The S&M couple at 9am rescheduled for tomorrow.

The espresso machine is about to die, and there are two children in your office.

As in small, undeveloped, unfinished creatures? Ambulatory air raid sirens -

- whose only purpose is to provide glimpses of meaning -

- to disillusioned women in the autumn of their fertility?

Tiny, red-faced sausages who monopolise all the attention...

Margrethe Borchgrevink. I'm here with my daughter.

We have some problems you might be able to help us with, -

unless you're too busy being insane?

No... That'll be fine. Just come through.

Beatrice and Jørn.

- What can I do for you? - They've grown apart.

- Mum... - Yes, but you have.

- All right... Firstly, how old are you? - I'm almost 16, and he's 13.

So, 15, and 13. And you've been dating how long?

Three months next Tuesday.

And what's gone so terribly wrong that you need to see me?

Just look at him. I mean...

I'm sure you're a very busy woman. This could take a while.

Perhaps take an early lunch, and come back in an hour or so?

There's a great salad bar around the corner.

Ask him why he won't sleep with her. We have to talk about his, otherwise it'll be just -

- like your father. It's nature and nurture, you know. I'll be back in an hour.

So this is about sex.

He doesn't even want to finger me. You get it, right?

And you find that... hurtful?

Gender equality is about more than equal pay. He's responsible -

- for satisfying me intellectually as well as sexually.

Yes... What do you have to say about this, Jørn?

You'd rather not talk about it. It's embarrassing?

He plays with Lego. Seriously, Lego!

What was that? You have to speak up a bit.

It's not Lego. It's Lego Technics.

I empathise, Jørn. I'm more of a Toys-R-Us kid myself.

You don't have to sit here if you don't want to.

Just go to the waiting room, and I'll have a chat with Beatrice.

Couples counselling? Aren't we meant to figure things out together?

Beatrice. You're an almost 16-year old woman going out with a child.

Jørn is a child.

You can't force him to have sex with you when he hardly knows what it is.

Why aren't you dating someone your own age?

Christ, when I was 16 I thought of nothing but sex.

Boys your age are the horniest of the lot. They're little sperm machines, -

- capable of twenty perfectly acceptable erections in one day.

They get excited at the sight of a canoe!

If you held them face down, you could plough a field with them!

There's an ocean of dicks out there! Why can't you just leave this kid alone?

Sorry, I didn't mean to be so harsh.

- No worries, I can break up with him. - Great!

Send him a note during a school break, or something.

Thank you.

- Yes. - Your dog is here.

Come on, into the office.

And you stay away. This particular cross is for me to bear...

Why have you got peas in your pants, Benedikt?

Frozen peas.

I went to Fredrikstad. Where anyone can get laid.

Their coat of arms should feature a vagina.

I had arranged to meet my friend Anja, in the afternoon.

I told her I had a business meeting in the evening.

That way, I could hit town without pissing her off.

Benedikt Skovrand. I have a reservation.

The plan went to pots right away. You see, Anja...

- Nina! How did you know I was here? - You said so, silly.

That's right. And you couldn't make it because of work.

I got ill...

Maybe Doctor Benedikt can find out what's wrong?

I may be able to...

Hi, sweetie. Are you far away?

So, in about half an hour?

Listen, I thought it might be an idea to get a nicer room than last time.

So I've booked us into a different hotel.

Hotel City. There's a couple of things I've got to do, -

- but I'm already checked in, so just get your key at the reception.

I'll be there as soon as I can. OK? Love you too, baby.