Young Sheldon

Not all science is created equal.

There's physics, the undisputed king of science.

There's chemistry. It's no physics,

but it's not a bad way to pass a rainy afternoon.

And then there's biology,

the squishiest of the sciences.

Ugh!

Once you have deposited enough saliva

in the blue Benedict's solution,

we'll mix it

in the centrifuge.

After that, we'll pass it through the spectrometer

to measure how much glucose is present.

And won't that be a party?

Sheldon.

Oh, dear. Oh, dear.

It's warm. Oh, dear.

And then there was some extra money in the budget,

so I was able to order those tackling dummies

I had my eye on.

I don't understand why the football program gets

so much money, while the equipment in the science lab

is outdated and falling apart.

Oh, I can explain that.

This is Texas.

Pass the ribs.

Well, it's not fair.

It's a school.

Education should be their priority.

All right, I'll explain it again...

I think Shelly's got a point.

The school is supposed to prepare these kids

for the future. How many of 'em

are gonna be professional football players?

No one at this table.

But how many of 'em are gonna be scientists?

I know.

George, isn't there a way they can take some

of the football money and spend it on science?

Really? I need to explain it again?

You know, Moon Pie, in the '60s, when the hippies wanted

to change things, they would just protest.

You were a hippie? Oh, no.

But I wrote a letter complaining about the hippies,

and the police chased 'em right out of that park.

So my point is...

maybe you could write a letter.

Ooh! Maybe I can lodge a formal complaint

with the school board about the sports budget infringing

on the other departments.

Okay, last time:

Canada,

the other states,

us.

What are you doing, standing there?

I wrote a formal complaint letter to the school board

on how much money is spent on football.

I was hoping you could deliver it to them.

You do realize your father's a coach here.

Yes, sir, I do.

Maybe you ought to talk to him about this first.

I did.

He didn't care for the idea at all.

Well, there you go.

There I go what?

Let me see that.

"Barbaric sport... encourages bloodlust similar

"to Roman gladiator games...

"Christians, lions...

money better spent on science and learning."

You're joking, right?

Did you see the word "bazinga" anywhere in that letter?

Out.

I'll just have to go over his head.

President Cooper.

That's serendipitous.

Hello.

What?

I understand that you're in charge of student elections.

I am.

I'd like to run for class president.

Really?

Really.

Okay.

You can sign up, but I have to warn you...

you'll be running against Nell Cavanaugh.

So?

She's well-liked by the student body.

So?

These elections tend to be a bit of a popularity contest.

So? You're gonna make me say it, huh?

Say what?

People don't like you.

Well, as my meemaw likes to say, water off a duck's back.

Elections shouldn't be about popularity.

They should be about who has the best ideas.

And what's your idea?

Less money on football,

more on science.

Really.

Guess what. I'm running for class president.

Good for you.

You're encouraging him?

He's gonna get destroyed.

You don't know that.

I feel like I do.

Well, whether you win or not,

I think it's great that you're trying.

But you think I'll win, right?

God's listening, Mom.

I think it's certainly possible.

Do you have a campaign strategy?

No.

Do you have a catchy slogan?

No.

Does he have a shot at winning?

No.

Hello, I'd like to speak to the mayor, please.

My name is Sheldon Cooper.

I'm running for class president

and was hoping he could give me some advice.

I'm ten years old.

But if it helps get him on the phone,

I'm well-behaved, a straight-A student,

and have impeccable hygiene.

Hello.

This is Mayor Harrison.

I understand you are running for office.

Class president.

Do you have any advice on how to win?

The most important thing is to get out there

and connect with people.

That's tricky.

I'm not terribly fond of people.

Well, you might need to get over that.

Assuming I can,

how do I connect with them?

A friendly handshake is a great start.

Oh, boy.

Now I have to touch them?

Over the next few days,

I mounted my campaign.

My name is Sheldon Cooper, and I'm running for class president.

Okay.

Put her there.

Greetings, fellow students.

I'm running for class president.

Here's a button.

Have a grown-up put them on you.

They're sharp.

Hello.

I'm Sheldon Cooper,

and I'm running for class president.

Yeah? I understand

you had a baby last year.

If you bring it in, I'll try to kiss it.

Vote Sheldon for class president.

Vote Sheldon for class president.

Vote Sheldon for class president.

Don't worry... it's a number two.

You can use it on standardized tests.

Okay.

And, of course, homework.

I love homework.

Well, it's so nice to finally meet you.

I'm Nell Cavanaugh.

My opponent.

I would shake your hand, but my mom is washing my mittens.

Okay.

She was really nice.

She even said, "May the best student win."

That's sweet.

This was a great idea.

Children like cupcakes, and, by giving them cupcakes,

they'll transfer that affinity to me.

That's another way of looking at it.

By that reasoning, a rich person could simply buy people's votes.

It's been known to happen.

Until my ship comes in,

I guess it's cupcakes.

Georgie, check it out.

Oh, man, I hate that he's doing this.

What? It's cute.

It's embarrassing.

I would think you'd be proud of him.

That's 'cause you're a better person than me.

Maybe you ought to ask God to take away your anger

and replace it with love.

Can I ask him to take away my brother instead?

Georgie.

Not kill him...

just strand him on an island somewhere.

A nice island,

with coconuts and stuff.

Nell Cavanaugh,

it appears we're taking the mittens off.

Well, that's unfortunate.

Oh, this goes well beyond unfortunate.

It's flat-out unfair.

Did you not say that you love homework?