Friends

I just saw Kathy naked.

It was like torture.

If we go to war and you're captured, you're in for a surprise.

It keeps getting worse.

I'm in love with my roommate's girlfriend.

Every time we're in the same room, there's weird energy between us.

Call me crazy, but I think she likes me too.

And now I have seen her naked.

At least with her clothes on...

...I could imagine her body was covered in boils.

But there are no boils. She's smooth.

Smooth!

Wow...

Could you see up his robe?

Oh, my God. Yeah.

- Here you go. - I'll call you.

Great.

Hey, hey. Who was that?

Casey. We're going out tonight.

Going out? Wow.

It didn't work out with Kathy? Bummer.

No, things are fine.

I'm having a late meal with her after an early one with Casey.

- What? Yeah.

The craziest thing is, I just ate a whole pizza myself.

Wait...

- You're going out with Kathy. - Yeah.

Why are you upset?

Well, I'm upset...

...for you.

Sex with an endless line of women must be unfulfilling.

What's the big deal? It's not like we're exclusive.

Look, Joey.

Kathy's not fulfilling your emotional needs.

But Casey...

Granted, I just saw the back of her head.

But I got this sense that she's smart and funny...

...and gets you.

You got all that from the back of her head?

It's time to settle down.

Make a choice. Pick a lane.

Who's Elaine?

Little Tony Tarzan

Swinging on a nose hair Swinging with the greatest of ease

I don't know the next verse.

You could just go:

Greatest of ease

Ba-ma-na-ma-na-ma...

Then go right into it.

I like that.

How do you know about "ba-ma-na-ma-na-ma"?

You know, I used to play.

That's right. The keyboards?

A little in high school. I got into it in college.

That's when I really found my sound.

Juice just came out of my nose, but it was worth it.

Oh, my God.

- I completely forgot about your sound. - Yeah.

He'd lock himself in the basement.

No one was ever allowed to hear "the sound."

I want to hear "the sound."

No, I mean, I haven't played in so long.

Well, it's really personal stuff.

Play that funky music, white boy.

Yeah, come on. - No, you guys.

My keyboards are all the way... Yeah, okay.

Okay, guys.

All right. Bring it on, you.

Here we go.

You know, I've never played my stuff for anyone before.

It's important that you understand...

...it's about communicating...

...very private emotions.

You know...

You should think of my work...

...as wordless sound poems.

- That's what... - My God, play.

Well, you know, that was...

...terrific.

Really...

...bitchin'.

Wow. It was so wow.

Really?

Yeah. I mean, you should play in public.

Wow, thanks, you guys. That's...

I want to play you another piece.

Oh.

I left my helicopter sounds on another disk. I'll be back.

This is so nice. I mean, I am so...

God bless my dad for soundproofing the basement.

I can't believe I ever let him touch me with those fingers.

What are you guys talking about? I loved it.

It was so moving.

It's so different from the stuff you usually hear.

You mean, music?

I know what you think.

Yes, yes, your breasts are just as firm and juicy.

Come in.

Hey.

Oh, God. Is that Baywatch?

Yes, but I just watch it for the articles.

So is Joey around?

No, he's not back yet.

Come in, have a seat. Bow or stern?

I don't have a preference. You?

I like it in the stern.

Of the boat.

Hello.

It's me. Casey and I had a little car trouble.

- What happened? We broke down.

I have to get transmission fluid.

Tell Kathy that I'm sorry and I'll be there soon.

- Why can't you tell her? I think my time is about to...

Joey? Joey?

Yeah?

I thought your time ran out.

Me too, but I guess I do have...

Joey's running a little late, and he says he's sorry.

I guess it's just you and me, then.

Oh.

- Okay. - Yeah, I think it is.

So what'd you do today?

I had an appointment to cut my hair.

- Looks great. - And then it got canceled.

I could cut it.

Really?

Yeah, I learned at my aunt's dog-grooming shop. What do you say?

Dog grooming?

Don't make my tail too poofy.

You have really great hair.

Oh, thanks. I grow it myself.

Joey also has great hair.

Yes, Joey has great hair.

I'm basically done here. Let me get this hair off your neck.

What are you doing?

Checking if it's even.

Okay.

Looks good.

The phone! The phone's making sounds.

- Hello. - Hey, dude, it's me.

Hey, it's Joey.

It looks like we'll be stuck here.

I got the fluid. The transmission wasn't there.

- What? It fell out.

I just figured we hit a dog.

Okay.

Could you put Kathy on? I want to apologize to her.

It's Joey.

Hey...

No, it's fine. Don't worry about it.

Yeah, no, stop apologizing. It's okay.

I'll talk to you tomorrow.

- I should probably go. - Yeah.

Yes. Yeah...

I forgot my purse.

Oh...

I really did. I forgot my purse.

- This is bad. It's bad. - Horrible.

Wait, the kiss or the situation?

The kiss was good.

- But that's bad. - Here's what we do.

- We forget it. - What?

We swallow our feelings, even if we're unhappy forever. Sound good?

Can you really do that?

I have to. He's my best friend.

And you're seeing him.

Chandler, I like Joey a lot.

But with you...

No, don't. Don't, see?

You're getting me confused. I'm starting to yearn.

I'm sorry.

If you want to pretend that nothing happened, I can try.

I think we have to.

Okay.