Elvis & Nixon

From 9:20 to 11:30, you have your meetings with

Mr. Haldeman, Mr. Kissinger and Mr. Zeigler.

From 11:40 to 12:05, you have a meeting in the Grand Hall

to receive diplomatic credentials

from the Ambassadors of the Dominican Republic and Zambia.

Do they speak any English?

I believe so. - Oh, good.

Because I hate it when they don't even try.

You know, whenever I go to a foreign country

I always try to learn some phrases.

You know, it gives me an edge with the people of that country.

You know, shows I did my homework, shows I care.

Some people come right in here, no effort.

No effort whatsoever.

Not in their national character.

That's why they'll never be superpowers like us.

From 12:05 to 1:05, you have your open hour,

at the end of which we thought would be a good time

to have your meeting with Mr. Presley.

From 1: 10 to 1:30, you have an informal meet-and-greet

with 150 or so White House volunteers in the State...

Elvis? Elvis Presley?

Yes, sir. The entertainer.

Oh, I know who Elvis Presley is. Yes.

Who the fuck set this up?

Don't you ever feel sad

Lean on me, when the times are bad

When the day comes and you're down

In a river of trouble and about to drown

Just hold on, I'm comin'

Hold on, I'm comin'

I'm on my way, your lover

If you get cold, yeah, I will be your cover

Don't have to worry, 'cause I'm here

No need to suffer, baby, 'cause I'm here

Just hold on, I'm comin'

Hold on, I'm comin'

Hold on, I'm comin'

Hold on, I'm comin'

Love you!

(MEN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ON TV)

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS CONTINUE)

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.

- (ELVIS CHUCKLES) - What is going on here?

I demand an explanation!

(ON TV) This clumsy fool tried to plant that ridiculous camera on me.

In America, black people

are treated very much as

the Vietnamese people or any other colonized people...

President Nixon and his press secretary

made no comment about...

...kids are saying. Smoke pot with your kids

and then you'll understand why the kids are happy.

Oh, you gotta be kidding me.

... and in Cambodia, the fight against suspected communists.

(CHANTING) One, two, three, four,

stop the war against the poor!

- (GUN FIRING) - (GLASS SHATTERING)

Next, please.

Hello, ma'am. One ticket, please.

And where will you be traveling to, sir?

Los Angeles.

The one in California?

That's the one.

"The one in California?" What other one is there?

You know, I prayed this day would come so many times.

Hmm.

My cousin, she would always tell me, "Margaret,

"you are never, ever going to meet the King.

"So just get over it. " (SIGHS)

You gotta hold on to your dreams.

You have beautiful eyes.

So, about the ticket?

Oh. Of course. Um...

We have a flight leaving in less than an hour.

- I'll take it. - Yes. Of course.

I'm so sorry to have to ask,

but, do you have any form of identification?

Oh, yes, ma'am.

Not like a driver's license or something?

Confidentially speaking,

this is the first time I've ever flown on my own.

- So, I... - It's fine.

Excuse me, sir... Is that a...

Oh, this? This is my. 45.

Yeah, I got a little pistol in my boot, too.

I got permits for both of them, so...

They need these catalogued and vaulted.

And there's a call for you. He says his name is Mr. Tiger.

- Elvis? - Mr. Cougar? (CLEARS THROAT)

I'm in a bit of a pickle here.

I was just trying to hop a quick flight on American Airlines

and now I'm being detained due to carrying side arms.

- You took guns on a plane? - Yeah.

Elvis, why are you flying commercial?

Top secret. Gotta bolt quick, Jerry.

You know, click-bang.

I'll explain it to you when you pick me up at the airport.

- Yeah. I'm at work. - Come on, Jerry.

You're the only one I can trust with this.

Okay.

- I'll pick you up. - Good.

Now... About my little situation here...

Yeah, I got an idea.

The guy in front of you, ask if he has any kids.

Come on, honey. It's all right.

Oh, that's a pretty coat you got there.

Y'all scrunch on in now.

Great big old smile!

- That looked good. - Mmm.

- Thank you so much, Mr. Presley. - Thank you.

Anything for law enforcement.

Oh, yes, sir.

Look at this handsome devil.

Hey.

I knew I could count on you, Mr. Cougar.

How are you, Mr. Tiger?

This is my man.

Mmm. And I promised these young ladies

we'd give them a ride home. You don't mind, do you?

No.

- (CHUCKLING) - (ENGINE STARTING)

I like the way you walk

I like the way you talk

I like the way you walk I like the way you talk

Suzie Q

Hey, that's a great book, man.

You should check it out.

You're a number six.

I miss our talks, Jerry.

Me too, E.

I came out here to get you, man.

I got work.

How much are they paying you at Paramount?

You don't even want to say it out loud, do you...

I actually just got a promotion.

- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.

Well, how's this for a promotion?

Let's stop screwing around and start up that studio, man.

I'm ready.

I'll put you right beside me, you can run whatever you want.

Editing, production...

You know I'm trying to do my own thing here.

It's no problem, I can get you on a jet back from D.C.

- D.C.? - Yeah.

See, here's the real deal, Jerry.

I want to get a badge.

A federal badge.

You know, like that clown we met at Chasen's that one night.

The guy who does the voice of Bullwinkle.

If a guy like that can have a badge, why can't I?

Hmm. Does Priscilla know about this?

- No. - What about your daddy?

Heck, no, man. They're all screaming at me.

Calling the Colonel, saying I'm spending too much cash.

I just did 29 days at the International.

I sold out every night in Vegas.

I got plenty of dough.

You don't tell a grown man how to spend his money.

It ain't right.

Come on, panther man.

Take this trip with me. It'll be fun.

Hi, Donald, it's Jerry here.

I'm going to have to call in sick.

Yes. I am so sorry.

Can you connect me to the Hotel Washington?

Hello, American Airlines?

I was wondering, could I rent the whole top floor of your hotel tonight?

It's actually for me and a guy named Elvis.

(ANNOUNCER SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY OVER P.A.)

- Was Cilla mad? - At first. Understandably.

But I handled it.

You always do.

The Colonel?

I told her not to tell him.

Thattaboy. Keep the Fat Man out of this.

Oh, and Sonny's gonna meet us there and take over.

Look at these guys.

You're kidding me, man.

That's good, but Elvis would never wear that, man.

Oh, really?

Yeah, I'm an Elvis impersonator, too.

- That's frightening. - You're good though, man.

You could be second best, baby. You know what I'm saying?

Do you do Teddy Bear?

- When I'm in the mood. - Well, listen to this, man.

I got an Elvis song that's gonna blow you away, man.

I'm gonna rock it to the left

I'm gonna rock it to the right

I'm gonna rock it in the middle

And rock it all night

Now that, baby, that is where the rock-a-hula really is.

- Would you like some coffee? - Thank you.

Hey, Jerry, could you proofread this for me?

It's a letter.

Yeah. Sure.

You wrote a letter to Nixon?

Yeah. That's right.

What do you think?

I think it's more than a badge.