Moonbase 8

slow, haunting music

atmospheric music

Moonbase Central Command to Cap. This is a comm check.

Do you read? Over.

This is Cap. I read you. Over.

It's gonna be a hot one out there.

Checking your vitals right now. Try to pace yourself,

-okay, Cap? Over. - Copy that.

-Just think about the ex-wife. - Rook checking in.

Sorry to break up the parties, boys,

but I got a nice, hot bag of eggs

-waiting for you guys up here. - Hold on.

Okay, I need to call in a yellow alert.

Got a duster coming hot out of the west.

You picking anything up on that?

Yeah, I'm tracking. Approach with caution.

Hey, guys, no sweat on that duster I spotted.

It was just a supply capsule.

Well, she's pulling up now. Over.

Travis, Cap needs help unloading.

What's your 20? Repeat, what is your 20?

Roger. This is Travis Kelce. I'm in the middle

of my morning workout over in the south quadrant. Over.

All right. Well, please proceed to Lieutenant Caputo.

Got it.

Hey, Cap. You need my help?

Oh, no, I got it, champ.

Yeah? They said you needed some help.

Oh, no. No, I got this on my own, buddy. Don't worry.

Attaboy. That's my Cap.

You get that thing in. I'm hitting the showers.

Okay. Let me get the air lock portal

before you open that. One second. One second.

Hello?

Guys?

upbeat music

Whoa! Hey, guys, check this out.

"To commemorate your 200th

consecutive day at Moonbase 8, we have enclosed

a $100 Harley-Davidson store gift card."

-Oh, that's great. - Yeah, great.

Well, I got the city of Honolulu up my ass.

-They booted my car. -I think it's pretty cool.

They've got cool leather gloves you could do or...

Well, there's a café in there, too.

You could get something to eat.

-Uh, stuff for Travis. -No, no, no, give me

Travis's mail. He does not like anyone touching it.

Hey, look at this.

We got a mission pack.

Attention, Moonbase 8.

To further explore the possibilities

of organic growth on the Moon,

your mission is to plant

the enclosed genetically modified apple seed

in your lunar biosphere,

monitor the growth and report on the results.

Wh-What's...

Why can't we ask questions?

What else is in there? Any... We got anything else?

No, just apple stuff, pretty much.

Caputo.

Do me a favor, man. Take a whiff of that real fast.

- -Yeah.

Does that smell good, or does it smell bad?

Huh.

-Smells like a towel. -No, it doesn't. It smells bad.

-Oh. -Next time you wash them, make sure you use

that warm water cycle.

-All right, Cappy? -Sorry about that.

-Sorry. -All right, man.

-Here's your mail. -Oh, nice.

What is this, junk mail?

-Come on! -Ow! God bless it.

Ow.

You got me there with that Pro Bowl ring.

You all right?

-Am I bleeding? - Yeah.

- Ow, yeah. -Bad.

I got a piece of bone moving around under there.

Ah, damn it. Where are the Band-Aids?

In the bathroom here?

- Yeah, should be some. -

I'm a little worried about him.

pulsing music

Hey, are you guys having

any problems with the water?

I'm not getting any in the greenhouse.

Oh, it's probably a blockage in the feeder line or something.

Hey, Rook, w-would you mind checking it out?

I told Kels I'd finish this workout.

No, I don't mind.

Um, well, hold up. Wait a minute. Actually,

let me talk to Kels first, run it by him,

make sure he's aware of it, and then...

-and then you can go on. - Cap, this is

your department. You can do whatever you want.

-He's not your boss. -I-I know, but you know how he gets.

So, you suit up. I'll talk to Kels.

Okay.

- -Hey, Travis?

Hey, uh, just want to get you up to speed.

We have a little trouble with the water tank,

so Rook went out to check it out.

Isn't water your department?

Yeah, but, uh--

Then why the hell are you bothering me?

I'm trying to read.

Sorry, I just thought you'd want...

quiet, tense music

Did you wash my rover?

Yeah. Yeah, I washed it once this morning

-and once this afternoon like you asked. -Yeah.

Thanks.

-It's-it's our rover, but-- -What?

Nothing. Nothing. It's n...

I-I'll take another look at it, make sure it's clean.

Yeah, I bet.

Okay. So, we've got a water crisis.

Our water tank is empty.

All right? So, today's the sixth.

Next water delivery's on the 29th.

It gives us three weeks until we have more water.

Cap,

how did we burn through a month's worth of water

in a week?

I don't know, Trav. I'm...

I don't know. I'm stumped.

I'm... Uh, I got nothing on that.

I... It's a mystery, really.

-Oh, God. - Okay, so,

this is a dilemma. We're up on the Moon.

We've got to deal with this.

Right? Got to find a solution.

So, I've done an accounting for all the liquids

that we have up here that are drinkable.

Got 14 gallons of bottled water.

I've got some juice.

Uh, some of the water we use for our toilets.

All right, so let's show NASA that we know what we're doing.

What, uh... what are some other ideas?

What about the vegetable oil?

There's some olive oil upstairs.

Canola.

You-you cannot drink vegetable oil.

It's liquid, so should be drinkable.

The solubility is zero.

So we can't use it. Yes, Cap.

Uh, you have to add vinegar to oil for it to be drinkable.

That's salad dressing.

I know.

You drank salad dressing?

Yeah. I had ordered salad

and gotten a s... dressing on the side

and then just didn't use it and then...

finished it off at the end.

You're welcome to it. In the meantime,

I've started up the, uh, urine recycling machine.

-Oh, come on. - I know.

I was really hoping we weren't gonna have

-to use this. - Me, too.

But it seems to be working just fine.

If you'll just pass this around.

This is de-urinized, so this is pure water.

Oh, God.

Is that the light that's yellow?

It is water. It has been de-peed.

This isn't some kind of fetish thing or any... This is just...?

No.

All right, let's give it a shot.

-Let's just all try it. - Now,

-one thing we could do is-- -

Oh!

- - That's not water.

That is very salty.

Well, we're not gonna do that.

Even at maximum conservation,

we've got about three days of water left.

That gives us about a week to live.

So, let's dig a well, then.

Dig a well? I...

-Let's dig a well. - Dig a well?

- Yeah, well water. -In-in the desert?

- Yeah. - Travis,

it is so dangerous what you're suggesting.

We don't have the equipment for it.

I mean, I guess if you want,

we could start the review process

and get an environmental impact report started.

Do you want to see what those look like?

-You think they're a page? - You know what?

-What-- -They're 300 pages minimum.

Cap, you in?

-Yeah, I'm with you, Kel. -Yeah, he's with me.

You two can drink your pee water.

We're gonna go save this base.

Exactly. "F" you.

Good luck with that.

-Hey, Trav? -Yeah.

Can I have a quick second about this?