Assassination Classroom (暗殺教室)

Oh! Hey there, Big Teach!

Long time no see!

I know, right?

Thank goodness for payday!

Your one-stop shop for cheap, delicious junk food.

Well worth the trouble of going incognito.

Hey, cut it out!

Eh?

Lighten up, doll face.

Please, I don't have time for this,

my students are expecting me.

So you're a teacher, are ya?

What would you say to a li'l private tutoring

to help get our grades up?

Allow me to tutor you gentlemen

on how to flirt with a lady.

Lesson One: First Impressions.

Know what your wheels say about your game.

Why did you use pink?!

There is no Lesson Two.

Are you all right?

Who says chivalry is dead?

You're a prince among men.

Thank you. I'll remember this kindness always.

By the way...

I'm trying to find Kunugigaoka Junior High.

Do you know where it is?

Okay. Look alive, people.

Meet our newest addition to the E Class faculty.

My name is Ms. Irina Jelavic.

Nice to meet you all!

Talk about a knockout!

Knockers, more like.

Does anybody else think it's weird

she's all over Koro-sensei? What are the chances?

Little bit, yeah. Who knew we'd be colleagues?

Oh, you're adorable!

We decided to bring on Ms. Jelavic in the interest

of beefing up the English curriculum.

No hard feelings, I hope. She's, uh, very qualified.

No harm in that, is there?

She totally has a thing for Koro-sensei.

I mean, she seems nice, so... I guess it's kinda cute, right?

Mm-hm. Might be something we can use

to figure out how to kill him, too.

He seems thrown off

by the attention she's giving him.

Is it because she's human, or because she's a woman?

His face changes color to reflect his mood.

So what's the color for hot and bothered?

He is all about her.

Yeah. No mistaking that face.

Note: He blushes like a human.

Ahh... The more I look at you,

the more I feel myself drawn in. Those tiny, suppository eyes.

Those gelatinous joints.

I'm simply captivated by the whole package!

Oh, my. I, uh...

Don't fall for it, she's trouble!

No woman in her right mind would be into you.

He might be a sucker for those looks.

But we know there's more going on here than meets the eye.

If she's here, odds are it's not just to

"beef up" our English studies.

Let's see you pass the ball! Come on!

And of course I had all the usual close-range tricks

at the ready.

Apparently the art of seduction works just as well

on whatever the hell he is.

Irina Jelavic. First-rate assassin.

Beautiful. Intelligent. Athletic.

Fluent in a dozen languages.

No target is immune to her charms,

whatever their nationality, however well-guarded.

She wrote the book on infiltration and approach.

As good as you are, we can't just drop you

into this situation and expect the usual tricks to work.

I know deep cover is your specialty.

But this time you'll actually have to actually teach.

Hah. As if I'll be here long enough.

I'm a professional.

The octopus'll be pushing up daisies before lunch.

Heads up!

Pass and kill!

Nope. Pass.

Pass and kill! Huh?

Try again. Pass! Yoo-hoo!

Hope I'm not interrupting anything, darling!

Mr. Karasuma tells me you can go Mach 20

and I just had to see it with my own eyes!

Well, he might've been exaggerating a tad.

I hate to ask this, but...

I would be ever so grateful if you could fetch

some Vietnamese coffee.

I thought maybe you could grab it while I run the students

through their English lesson.

But of course, mon cher!

It just so happens I know a fabulous cafe in Vietnam.

Ah. It's about that time, Ms. Irina.

I mean, that's the bell.

Shouldn't we head back?

Sure, whatever. Knock yourselves out.

Teacher needs peace and quiet, though, so make it a Study Hall.

And another thing.

Let's agree not to call me "Ms." when the octopus isn't around.

And we're definitely not on a first name basis. So drop it.

When he is around, call me Ms. Jelavic.

Heh. So what's your game, Ms. Jela-bitch?

No nicknames!

We got ourselves a real pro here.

Just a word of warning from those

who've been playin' the odds.

You're not gonna kill the octopus without help.

Please, sweetheart. You're a bunch of saplings.

Adults have their own way of doing things, take note.

Speaking of which, you're Nagisa Shiota, right?

Do me a fav, show me what you've got on him.

Grab your special little notebook;

meet me in the faculty lounge in ten minutes.

That goes for any of you snot-nosed punks

who feel like you've got intel worth sharing.

Give Ms. Jelavich something useful.

And I'll let you go home while these gentlemen

stand in for you.

This is what separates the pros from the amateurs,

boys and girls: connections and a little thing

we like to call "technique." Now. Piss off. Go play.

Oh, and a word of warning from those of us who know our job.

Get in the way, you die.

That seductive, femme fatale kiss.

Her, shady-looking companions.

The weight of her off-handed threat.

Clearly we're not dealing with a teacher, but a genuine pro.

Which, all things considered, would be sort of cool...

if she wasn't, you know, such a bitch.

This assignment is the first in which my objective

is to kill an unidentified creature.

Everything should be in order, though.

The kid's intel has given me a lot to work with.

A couple of us have actually gotten as far as destroying

one of his tentacles, but he just dodges

your next attack while he lets it grow back.

I dunno. Maybe he can only be killed

if all his tentacles are destroyed at once?

Good luck hitting more than one, though.

Also. If your plan is to sneak up on him,

you probably don't wanna smoke.

Huh...?

Hello there, children!

For a guy without a nose,

he's a bloodhound.

This'll be a piece of cake.

My strategy is airtight.

I am the one and only Irina Jelavic. The Closer.

The Go-to gal. I walk between the raindrops,

Uh... slip between...

Ms. Jelabitch, ma'am? Arrgh!

Are you gonna teach us, or what?

Yeah. C'mon, Ms. Jelabitch.

No disrespect, but you are a teacher,

aren't you, Ms. Jelabitch?

Ix-nay on the bitching!

The name is JelaVIC, understand?

JelaBITCH is what I'll be if you don't get the difference

through your thick, prepubescent skulls!

Let's review! My name is Jelavic.

- "Jela-V! - Vic!" Bite your lower lip and hum!

Vvv...

"V," excellent!

Now practice that sound quietly for the next hour

while I ignore you.

Lamest. Lesson. Ever.

I understand you've brought in

a rather questionable trio.

Why wasn't I made aware of this change of plan?

Ah! Don't judge the books by their cover,

they're all consummate professionals.

And so head-over-heels for me they'll do whatever I ask.

Now, sit back and enjoy the show.

It's almost go-time.

I've returned, mademoiselle!

With the Indian chai you humbly requested.

Ah! You're amazing!

My afternoon tea is going to be absolutely fabulous!

One more favor, though. Could we speak in private?

After fifth period? Like, maybe out in the shed?

Oh dear.

Well, how could I possibly say no?

I'll be there with certain-tea!

Get it? Certain-tea? Because that's chai, you see.

Huh?

What? Oh, come on! You gotta be kidding me! Seriously?

Wow. He's really falling for it.

I can't look. You'd think he'd have more sense.

Mr. Karasuma, sir?

Hm?

I get she's a pro, but she's not exactly easy to get along with.

Yes, I know.

I'm sorry you kids have to deal with her,

but the higher-ups seem to think she's all that.