The Ren & Stimpy Show

Welcome to the fabulous future world of the ultra-modern

house of next Tuesday !

In the world of next Tuesday, giant ants will rule the earth !

But fear not.

The house of next Tuesday is equipped with the latest

extermination devices.

You see, the earth's atmosphere, in the world of next Tuesday,

will be polluted to the consistency

of warm giblet gravy.

But fortunately, the house of next Tuesday

features air you can breathe.

In fact, it's climate controlled.

Ooh !

In the world of next Tuesday, door-To-door salesman

will be replaced by

viciously aggressive peddler-bots.

But in the house of next Tuesday,

you'll be safe and sound.

Wouldn't you like to live in the house of next Tuesday ?

Of course you would.

So why let me go on about it ?

Experience it for yourselves.

This, gentlemen, is the state of the art

in luxury living.

A monument to modern design.

And the best thing about

the house of next Tuesday is...

We get a 10-Day free trial.

Now, uh, where do they keep the chow in this dump ?

Ahh.

I think the kitchen is over this way.

Duh, oh, boy !

Hope they got something good in the fridge.

I'm in the mood for some future meat products.

Ren, look !

Jerky ! Jerky !

Welcome to the future of jerky technology,

the jerky 2000.

Please select the jerky of your preference.

Hmm, teriyaki... pepperoni.

I love sweet jerky.

Make mine sour.

Man, I can almost taste that barbecued shoe leather now.

Hey !

Commencing jerky processing.

Tenderizing meat.

( screaming from within machine )

Marinating meat.

Tenderizing meat again.

Lots more tenderizing.

Shredding meat.

Smoke and dry.

Oh, boy, I do love a good piece of jerky.

Don't you, Ren ?

Welcome to the bathroom of next Tuesday.

Yeah, yeah, gotta go !

Woo-hoo-hoo !

Yipes, man !

That toilet seat is colder than a well digger's chicken.

Don't worry, Ren.

No more frosty toilet seats in the world of next Tuesday.

Observe.

Be ready in few minutes.

Thank you for using the bathroom

of the house of next Tuesday.

Oh, man !

Ah, bathroom's all yours, buddy !

Funny.

What the heck is that ?

It's the new sens-O-Rama Tv, Ren.

The television of next Tuesday puts you right in the picture.

It's fun !

Here, you try.

What the--

hey, I can't see anything.

I'll try and find you a good station, Ren.

Wait, I, I see it, I see it !

Today, we are cooking something really good.

Let's-a have a smell, okay ?

Okay !

Oh, boy, that smells-A so good,

I-a gotta smell it again.

Hey, that-a does-a smell pretty good-A.

Tastes great, too !

And now we cook our main-A course-a,

a nice-a, big-A, fat-a lobster.

Oh, boy, I love lobster !

Look-a how fresh and-A tender he is.

That's-a good.

Fresh and-a-- huh ?!

Good heavens, Ren.

What on earth are you watching ?

Oh, no, I'm not going in there.

Some cockamamie futuristic bed

will probably rip me to shreds.

Oh, come on, pal, you're just tense.

You need the kind of relaxation

only the bedroom of next Tuesday can provide.

Well, maybe you're right.

I could use some shuteye.

Hey, there's no bed in this room.

Yeah, there is, Ren.

There's an insta-Bed.

I'll set it up for us.

That's it ?

Sure, look.

It says: "just add one drop of water."

Stew, meat and puppets !

It'll never work.

It will once I get into my utility belt.

That does it !

I'm gettin' out of here !

Rickin' rackin'...

house of stupid Tuesday !

Oh, by the by, did I forget to mention

that the house of next Tuesday also features--

Cripes !

I wish we'd never come to this place.

I can arrange that, Ren,

with that time machine, over there.

Huh, time machine ?

Sure, Ren, it's a convoluted plot device.

Well, I'll be darned, it is a time machine.

Does that mean we can go anywhere in time ?

Sure.

It can take us back to before we got here.

You know, our used to be.

Or even further back in time,

to eras where we can exploit our knowledge of next Tuesday,

where we can live on easy street

for the rest of our lives.

Hmm.

You know, that just might work !

Yeah, yeah, go to it, genius.

It's almost ready, Ren.

Good boy, Stimpy !

Next stop, the past !

Whoa, that was weird.

I, I...

More pastrami ?

Uh, okay.

Stimpy ?

Uh-huh.

Oh, yes, I'm putting lots of mustard on it.

A triple-decker cream chipped head cheese,

corned ham and pastrami on rye with the works !

Delicious !

There you go.

Hope you like it, buddy.

I'm afraid to ask, but what are you doing ?

I am pushing food into my head, Ren...

for my friend.

Your friend ?

Yeah, Ren, the friend in my face.

A friend in your face.

What kind of dopey crap is that ?

It's true, Ren.

Since my sabbatical in the amazon,

my head's been inhabited by a friendly parasite

named choo choo nong nong head.

Have a look !

Oh, brother !

Well, hello there !

Well, he's friendly, all right.

Ah, well, this has all been quite entertaining.