Mad About You

You finished?

Yeah.

When are they going to stop with these takeout menus?

Like, I need souvlaki in this heat.

Maybe Mr. Science can make it rain.

I went and saw him make licorice just using witch Hazel and a cute tip.

Oh, see, all that for it.

That's a big mistake.

Want to see some?

Murray, you'll enjoy this because you're simple.

Look, it's Mr. Science starring Mr. Science, written by, there's a man who

produced by, forget about it, but here we go, here we go, here we go, directed by Paul Buchman.

That's me.

My bedroom is an oven.

Welcome, boys and girls.

For today's experiment, we will need a pound of bacon, a piece of cardboard,

and an empty tuna can.

Now.

Do you believe this?

A lantern he makes from bacon fat.

You know how I shot this, by the way?

I aimed a camera, I walked away, I made a sandwich.

It's just for now.

You're a brilliant director.

I understand.

So why did I spend my whole summer directing Mr. Science?

Hey, Michelangelo used to paint postcards between gigs for tourists.

Eh, it's just a big fat lie he's gonna make me feel better.

It's the best I got in this heat.

Come here.

Oh, honey, let's go out and eat.

You don't want to go out.

That's where they keep the heat.

No, no, no.

You don't want to go outside.

All right, we'll go out.

But first, do this.

What did you do?

Put these on.

What are you, nuts?

What kind of look?

Portima!

See that?

Mr. Science?

Mr. Science.

I love that man.

One iced tea and one nice, cool bowl of water.

Anything else?

Uh, just some kibble for myself.

And you know what?

Give me one of those iced... an iced tea, also.

Oh, you really are thirsty.

Yeah.

Russell, aren't you hot?

Yeah.

You know, I think it's the weather.

Okay.

I said I was willing to go somewhere else.

I know, but I like it.

At least they know us here.

If we went somewhere else once, in a while, they'd probably know us there, too.

Fran said there's a great new seafood place opened up just around the corner.

Yeah, well, it's not gonna be good as Stefano's.

What's Stefano's?

Stefano's.

It's not Stefano's.

What is it?

Roberto's.

Clam place?

Yes.

Jersey Shore?

Yes.

Stefano's.

Iced tea.

What is it?

Just pouring and bringing.

That's all that's required.

It was a nice summer, wasn't it?

Hey, that was hotter than this.

We did things, though.

We did hot things.

Remember, we just woke up, borrowed a car, and drove, do you remember that?

We didn't know where we were going, and then all of a sudden, the sun was

setting, we could smell the ocean, then we saw that big neon sign.

Vito's?

Vito's!

That was it, it was Vito's.

It was not Vito's.

Well, it wasn't Stefano's.

It was Boyd's.

Like you would eat clams from a place called Boyd's.

I would, you know, in our youth.

We did crazy things in our youth.

Let's do that!

Oh, did you pick up and go to Jersey?

Yes!

Why?

Why not?

It's the last weekend of the summer.

We've been promising ourselves we'd get away.

All right, so we'll get away next year.

Well, maybe next year we won't be able to.

Why wouldn't we?

Because what if I'm pregnant by then?

What if?

What if you're not?

Then we would have gone away now and had a nice time for nothing.

Oh.

I'm sorry.

Won't do it.

I'm telling you, this is our last chance to have fun together.

I'm going to go back to school any minute.

You're going to be starting another project.

Hey, I have no next project.

Thank you.

You will.

I'm telling you, this is our last chance.

Let's go, let's do it.

Really?

Yeah.

Great.

Great clams.

The best.

Plus, we'll be out of the city.

We'll be in the ocean.

Ah, we got cool, you got clams, that's two for two.

Eduardo.

Not even close.

All right.

Alarm override, emergency child lock, emergency lock override.

Maybe I should just get you the manual.

You know what, Franny, it's a car.

I've been in a car before.

Relax.

I am, I just, you know, want you to have a good time.

You are my best friends in the whole world, right?

Are you okay?

Yeah, fine.

I don't know, you just seem sort of... All righty here.

A couple of little adjustments and away we go.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

I got it, I got it, I got it.

Now I can't reach it.

I'm having fun now.

Have a good time.

Thanks, thanks for the car.

Yeah, okie doke, bye.

And away we go.

Hold on, hold on, hold on.

Are you sure you don't want to come with us?

No.

That's okay.

You guys go.

Well, why?

You said Ryan's with Mark for the weekend?

I have stuff to do.

What kind of stuff?

You know, stuff, work, and stuff, and work stuff.

What do you mean work stuff?

You're going back to work?

I thought I mentioned that.

Oh, well, okay, bye.

Okay, bye.

And away we go.

No, no, no, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Where are you going to work?

At the office where I used to work.

You mean my old job?

My old job.

Your old job?

What's my old job?

Hey, clams and cool.

Away we go.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Just wait.

Well, technically, sure, but when I left, it was your new job.

Although now I guess that would make it your old new job and my old old job,

and I was really just toying with the idea.

When are you going to go back?

Last Monday.

Why didn't you tell me?

I thought you'd be upset since you got fired.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

I didn't get fired.

I quit.

That's what I said.

No, you said I got fired.

You didn't let me finish.

Uh, uh, since you got fired up and quit, boy, were you fired up and quit, just quit.

I did.

I know.

Then why would I be upset?

You wouldn't.

I'm not.

Good.

Fine.

Are we going or not?

Snake.

I can't believe she'd just go out and stab me in the back.

Why didn't she just drag me in a ditch, shoot me, and steal my shoes?