Länge leve bonusfamiljen

THE MOUNTAIN LODGE

- Should I drive you to the station? - Coffee first.

- We have to go within an hour. - Sure.

- Good. - Yes, it's in place.

- That's why you love it. - No, that's not it.

- If you were honest? - Oh, dear.

Darling, it's something with peanut and a heart.

Well...

- Hey, this is going to the spa. - Okay.

- Hi, sweetie. - Hi. Where's the wrapping paper?

- Have you checked the green cupboard? - Eh, yes.

- It could go up a bit, 10 cm. - What? Hello?

- Sorry, I'm in the middle of... - It's candlesticks and Trivial Pursuit.

- Can you wait for a couple of hours? - No, I need it now.

It's mini Christmas at Grandma's.

Sweetie, I'm working now.

Commanding, right? Then I can wear it like this.

- Yes, bring the collar up. - Let's see.

- We've got this one too. - Wow! Nice.

Yes. It's 6,995 SEK.

6,995? Yes, thanks. Wow!

- 6,995, is that what she said? - Yes, she did. It's nice.

- Who negotiates your salary? - Nobody, sadly.

But Lisa deserves something very nice after this crappy year. Look!

Of course, but you can't buy your way out of it.

You did something, and now you want to compensate.

Do something that is demanding, give her a sacrifice.

A sacrifice? Should I cut my dick off, wrap it and give it to her?

Great. Put it in the bag, wrapped in paper.

Then you can't cheat, right?

That's great! But a little sad for Lisa, maybe.

A bit sad for me too.

What are you doing for Christmas?

I don't know.

That girl you were dating, shouldn't you two be doing something?

JENS, ARE YOU DUMB? IT'S OVER.

No! What an asshole!

You can't write that the day before Christmas Eve.

You deserve someone better.

How much fun is it to be with someone who got burnt out?

Fun? You deserve someone who loves you as you are.

Someone who loves you even though you feel a bit "meh" and are burnt out.

- You deserve a Patrik! - Yes, but he's spoken for.

- Could we have two more beers? - Sure.

- So, you're staying over Christmas? - No, we're on our way now.

- But the Stockholm train is going now. - No...?

Shit!

- Maybe we can make the change in Mora? - Smart.

LONG LIVE THE BONUS FAMILY

- Hi, baby. - Hi! Sorry I'm late.

You're not late, it's perfect timing.

- She's really cute! - She's 17 years old.

Seventeen, what?

- She's not a lot older than me. - Love doesn't have an age.

- I don't have gifts with me. - We're doing mini Christmas.

So embarrassing. Were we not having coffee?

That's pedophilia in action. Do you think that's okay?

Of course not, but there are so many prejudices about age and sex.

It's illegal to sleep with people under 15 so that old folks...

- Oh, so we old folks can't sleep around? - Sleep around?

Let me tell you that sex is best after 60.

- I'm eating! - Nice topic of conversation.

This is my family. This is Danny and Bigge Kardashian.

Hi!

- And you've met Eddie Osbourne. - Hi, Eddie!

- Have a seat. - Who is Eddie Osbourne?

Hi. What are you doing?

We're baking insanely nice gingerbread for you.

- Is that Mom? - Are you on the train now?

There's a lot of work on the railway, so we'll be delayed.

- What? What's happened? - The damn train company.

Do you know how long it will take?

We're changing trains in Mora at 2:43 p.m.

- I'll be home around 6 or 7 p.m. - Yeah, great.

- I love you. - Kisses.

- So you're on the train? - Yes, soon.

I don't know about that. We'll never make it to Mora for 2:43 p.m.

- What? - No, not a chance.

What the hell?

WILLIAM, EDDIE, LISA, PATRIK, LO AND BUSTER LIVE HERE

Hello! I'm home!

Come! Come and hug...

- She's just fallen asleep. - Oh, no! That's typical.

- Hi. - Hi!

Damn! Was there a wine tasting on the train?

- Hi. - Welcome. Come.

Wow, wow, wow! Darling, you've made it really cozy! Shit!

No, no, no!

I forgot all the Christmas presents on the train!

- No! - Hey, it's fine. It's fine.

The big Christmas present is that you're home.

Wow. Shit, you've made this so beautiful, darling.

- Is this a date night? - Maybe a sleeping late kind of night.

Hello?

Hi! Merry Christmas! I've missed you, sweetie.

- It's from Grandma. - She didn't need to do that.

- That's nice. - It's not for you, it's for Mom.

Sure.

- This, can I just eat? - Yeah, go for it.

So sweet.

- Dad says hello. - Was his new girlfriend there?

What are they doing tomorrow? Can't they come here for coffee? I want to meet her.

- Not on Christmas Eve. - Okay, but Christmas Day or Boxing Day?

It would be nice. A quick coffee. Maybe an hour?

It's never a quick coffee with this group.

It could be. You don't have to offer lots of things.

I've bought the right amount of food for our family.

And I haven't seen you for a long time.

I want to hang out with the family. So, please, let's not invite them.

- Have you seen the Louisiana poster? - No.

- It was hanging here this morning. - I don't know.

But what about New Year's?

We're going to Filip's.

I was going to have a party if that's okay.

- No. - What? I live here too.

- I can have a party, right? - Yes, when you move out.

When I move out? Go to hell!

Please! You're 17. I know what parties are like at that age.

Darling...

I have to work on New Year's Eve.

- What? With what? - We didn't quite finish.

The guest house opens after the holidays, so we have to finish.

It's just a few days, then I'll be home.

I was so pleased it was over and that you'd be home.

Right now, I'm home. Let's have some good food.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, DARLING. FROM ME YOU'RE GETTING...

The mail shouldn't be here.

Hello, sweethearts. Wow, have you brought out candy?

They're ours! Donald Duck is on soon.

What's up with you?

What do you want for Christmas? A long screw or some morning filth?

Wow. Maybe both?

- Have you been that nice? - I really think I have.

Isn't a Christmas present something you wrap?

Fine, I won't bother.

STOCKHOLM COUNTY COURT

No, let's do the long screwing.

Sign.

- Are you coming? - Yes, we're just finishing up.

- What the hell is this? - What?

THE COURT ORDERS THAT THE DIVORCE IS IN FORCE FROM DECEMBER 17

- Wow. - Wow?

- We're divorced, damn it. - Shit, I forgot.

You forgot?

You forgot?

You didn't forget. You signed it and sent it in.

That was when you were seeing Elin again.

- Again? - You were seeing Elin again.

Then I panicked.

- What the hell have you done? - What have you done?

What?

What was I supposed to think? Eddie saw you make out in town.

He was mistaken. We were just talking.

I should have told you that I bumped into her.

- Yes, you should have. - I didn't want to worry you unnecessarily.

And it was good that we got closure.

- "Closure"? - Yes. You know what divorce is like.

If you don't talk, it goes to hell.

There's a hell of a difference: we have kids with our exes.

We have to be in touch.

- You make it sound like you were a couple. - No, we weren't.

We were. She was kind of a friend that I still cared about.

- I felt that I had an obligation. - Didn't you care about my feelings?

Of course I care about you, and I understand that you reacted.

But I...

It just disappeared into everything.

The thing with Elin just disgusted me.

I know.

I don't think you understand what it feels like.

Hey, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Hey. Should we get married now?

- Now? - Yes, as soon as possible.

Between Christmas and New Year's. I think city hall is open.

- Don't you want to? - Yes, of course I do.

But in that case because we're choosing each other again,

not because of a technicality.

- Great, we'll renew our vows. - Yes, in the summer in that case.

No, I want to be married to you now.

Not being married to you makes me feel physically sick. The whole family is...

- divided. - But I want... I want...

- Let's do it properly, not quickly. - We can do it properly and quickly.

- I love you. I'm... - You too.

I... We... We should...

Darling, let's not plan a wedding now. There's too much going on.

- I've worked myself to the bone. - Come on, Mom!

I love you too.

Come in! It's open!

Don't be so shy. Hi! Come in! Great to see you! Have you changed your mind?

- No, I have to talk to you. - Absolutely.

- Have people started arriving? - Yes. Great to see you! How have you been?

- Did you get any nice Christmas presents? - Well, I got a divorce from Lisa.

- Are you joking? - No.

We're still together, but she sent the forms in a few weeks ago.

- So now we're divorced. - Damn, that's quite a thing!

- How are you feeling? - Like shit.

I get it. Hang around. Have some dim sum.

- I don't have time. - Is it such a bad thing after all?

You're meeting outside of the shackles of marriage.