Antiviral

Yes.

Yes.

Wonderful. I'll transfer your booking.

Can I help you?

Edward Porris.

I... I have an appointment.

Porris.

Just have a seat.

Hannah Geist.

Excuse me?

You look like a Hannah Geist. I'd take you for a Hannah Geist.

Yes.

Well, most people are.

I'm here for Michael Felix.

Do you know he used to torment his lovers

by packing his foreskin with spices before intercourse?

I'm just lucky they got to him before the execution. I'm real lucky.

I'll take this one.

Breathtaking.

I understand your fascination with her.

I understand completely.

She's perfect somehow, isn't she?

More than perfect.

More than human.

Her eyes seem to reach...

right beneath your skin and touch your organs.

And touch your stomach.

Your lungs.

Gives me the shivers.

As you can see, we have several options available.

Each was acquired from Ms. Geist directly.

If I thought your interest was only passing,

there are any number of low-end packages I could offer. However,

you strike me as a man whose involvement runs a little deeper than that.

I see you... as a man of taste.

A connoisseur.

If you'll permit me to make a recommendation.

S-558.

Expensive...

but a must have for the truly devoted.

Ms. Geist was afflicted during her much-publicized

affair with Laura Law in 2003.

We purchased it from her soon after.

S558?

Yes.

A form of the herpes simplex virus.

After infection, the virus lives on in the cells of its host

for the rest of their life.

Did you know she's deformed?

You can't tell from the magazines.

She has to have special underwear made.

Fashion designers make her special underwear.

I've heard that.

Do you have your credit card with you, Mr. Porris?

Which side do you want it on?

I haven't decided.

Most people want it on the left side.

If she kissed you, it would be on the left side.

If she kissed me?

Ms. Geist is infected here,

to the right of her mouth.

Now, if she kissed you,

it'd spread to your left side,

around here.

On the left, it'd be like she gave it to you in person.

Yes, I'd like the left side.

Lean back please.

Just a little pinch.

There.

You should be showing in a couple of weeks.

Enjoy.

Are you carrying any infectious materials with you,

or items belonging to The Lucas Clinic Incorporated or its suppliers?

No.

Now, I thought a fungus was a plant because it comes from vegetables, right?

So I told them this gives...

Yeah, come in.

Apparently I'm no biologist,

and some of our viewers were quick to point that out.

I wanted to ask about the alarm test tomorrow.

Well, there's nothing I can do about it.

You know, I don't like it either, but it's the law.

No, I know. But...

it's just that I'm sick right now, and I need my sleep.

Yeah. Okay, so, listen,

I'll tell you what we'll do about it. We'll start at the top floor,

so we won't even get to you until after 11.

It's the Aria Noble Ordeal.

Anyway, we'll, you know, we'll just be in and out.

You can keep your bedroom shut.

The question on everyone's mind is: What is really going on with her?

We're talking to Mr. Dorian Lucas,

founder of the Lucas Celebrity Services Clinic.

Mr. Lucas, how do you respond

to critics who say the disease you're really selling

- is a cultural one? - That's ridiculous.

Do you not agree that the mania surrounding celebrity

- is reaching an unhealthy level? - No, I don't.

So these people are really so deserving of our attention?

In your opinion, does Aria Noble deserve to be famous?

Let me stop you right there. Deserve to be famous?

What does it mean to deserve to be famous?

Anyone who's famous deserves to be famous.

Celebrity is not an accomplishment. Not at all.

It's more like a collaboration that we choose to take part in.

Celebrities are not people; They're group hallucinations.

Surely it's naive to imagine that your clients think the same way.

Really? Naive? My clients are intelligent adults

from all walks of life, all ages,

and they find meaning in all the stories around them.

They choose to come to me because they want

to feel more connected to those faces, to those people

that they see in the magazines and on television.

And their lives are much richer for it.

The human face is a powerful messenger.

Our brains are tuned to its every nuance.

The smallest shift in its musculature

can translate itself into complex non-verbal information,

so subtle and communicated so quickly that we often

don't even register it; Not consciously.

One could say that for human beings the face is a structure

with a high information resolution. The ReadyFace console

is designed to engage the user's unconscious mental resources

by exploiting the brain's sensitivity

to facial patterns. Our technician loads a virus sample

into the port, where it's analyzed by ReadyFace

and is translated into a face graphic.

This image represents the structure of the disease.

It is in a sense the face of the virus, dense with information.

As Mr. March manipulates the graphic,

the machine manipulates the virus in the sample container,

eventually rendering it non-contagious.

This advanced form of copy protection

affords us control over the distribution

of our products, as the virus cannot spread beyond the infected client.

ReadyFace fluidly incorporates our technician's

unconscious mental resources so that copy protecting a sample

like this one will take hours rather than days.

Hey, thanks for coming.

Lovely to see you.

Thank you.

Thanks for making the time. Appreciate it.

No, she has to have special underwear made

because she doesn't have a vulva. She was born without a vulva.

Her father used to make them out of regular pairs,

which was an ordeal for her as a child, but now she has fashion designers do it.

Anyway, that's what she meant when she told Spot Magazine

- that she doesn't have a face. - Listen to what you're saying.

Well, you asked me, so I'm telling you.

You're telling me you've been working here too long.

You're seriously buying into all this.

What's to buy into? What I'm saying is factual.

Factual. Yesterday, her birth defect was a unique,

non-functional organ connected to her urinary system.

It's worth millions on the celebrity meat market.

- Yeah, also true. - Well, I'm sure the kid

could shed some light on the situation.

Didn't you take a genital wart sample from Hannah Geist once?

That was Derek.

Well, did he mention if she had a vulva?

We're doing lunch at Dainty Davis.

- You coming'? - I already ate.

You look like shit.

- Hi, Michelle. - Hey, Syd.

- What can I get for you? - 13, 644, 915.

915?

The new Aria Noble flu. We got it this morning.

So we did.

Thank you.

Derek.

I understand your fascination with her.

I understand completely.

She's...

perfect somehow, isn't she?

More than perfect.

An ideal.

Overwhelming.

With a whisper, she could have...

anything she wanted.

Anyone she wanted.

I'm happy to inform you that we have something special

available today.

It just came in this morning.

S-915.

You would be the first.

A biological communion between you and Aria.

From her body to your body.

From her cells to your cells.

In my humble opinion...

it's not even a question.

Just a little pinch.

The fever should come on just in time for the long weekend.

Enjoy.

Are you carrying any infectious material with you,

or items belonging to The Lucas Clinic Incorporated or its suppliers?

No.

Next. Who's Ne... Okay.

Geist, okay, we...

Okay, what are we...

Like, we're talking like a roast for two people?