Re-emigrantes

- Damian. - What?

- Damian. - What?

Turn that off, would you?

I hate waking up early.

But you've slept eight hours.

I know, but to have smooth skin I need to sleep at least ten.

I didn't sleep a wink. I was awake all night.

What's with all the tissues? Did you get a cold?

My sons, we must lead responsible lives and accept any blows.

Any day now, you know that we have to leave this house.

- The house you grew up in. - Where will we go, Dad?

Don't worry, the point of this family meeting is to make a decision.

- Anyone have any ideas? - Benidorm. Sun, palm trees, chicks...

What are you talking about? It'll be packed with tourists.

Anyway, I'm sure the food's not great.

Realistic options, please. My vote is to stay here in Madrid.

I'm sure we'll find something.

Damian, this is an opportunity to start over.

- Don't cling to the past! - You're right, father.

In this life, we are what we think. Smile at life, life will smile at you.

We have to flow.

People in villages are happier.

What if we go back to Villanueva de los Molinos, Dad?

Hey, that's right.

Good idea. We have a house there and almost guaranteed food.

But Dad, you sold all the land as soon as Mum died.

Don't worry about that. Life in a village is much more simple.

- We'll have internet, won't we? - Well, step by step.

For the moment, come on, finish packing your suitcases,

because we're going to live

in Villanueva de los Molinos!

I trust Dad, he's a man with many resources.

The other day, I and Dad went to the bank...

- No, Damian, "Dad and I". - What? You think I wasn't there?

What? Yes. What I mean is... I can't be bothered. Forget it.

What the... What is this loon doing?

I'm creating a time bomb. When it rots, nobody will be able to live here.

Don't leave even the cables behind!

The bank is taking the house, but it won't be fit for keeping pigs in.

- To you, to you. - What?

I'm here.

It hurts my heart to leave all this behind, Dami.

It's already happening. Hold on, here it comes.

- What? - Nothing, it's fine.

No, I mean, we've been through so much here, at home.

- And now we have to go. - Well, we don't have to go just yet.

Remember that Dad has a lot of savings.

What about me, my ambitions? I'll go crazy in a small village.

I need asphalt, nightclubs, the artistic and bohemian life.

There are usually theater groups in these villages.

What are you talking about? Who do you think I am?

Weren't you the one who said we need to flow?

Yes, but right now my energy is here.

In the city, in my profession, in the community...

Look at the Hollywood actors,

they've all decided to go and live on ranches.

Ranches can't be very different to our villages.

- Rural life is in fashion. - You're right about that!

Let's sow our own vegetables.

I hope we'll eat more than just that green shit.

We'll have to have chickens, some rabbits, some pigs...

That'd be great. I can take hundreds of pictures for Instagram!

What a portfolio!

If we do things the right way, we can live like kings.

Anyway, I can always come back to Madrid when I get a casting call.

I have an intuition that they'll call me for the TV show, like last year.

Of course, you were great.

Yes, I heard I went down well. I was a little intense, but good.

This time, maybe they'll even show your face.

- Well, that was part of the character. - No worries.

I recognized the back of you. Don't worry about that.

- We're out of small rolls, Damian. - Small rolls and big rolls.

I'm wiping with the empty rolls,

that's the state of things. But what can we do?

- I'll just get some water. - Are you clean?

You could eat off this ass, man.

SALCHICHERIA

- Do you last long when fucking? - I last longer without fucking.

I bet that's Gema! Can you get it while I get dressed?

- Put something on, will you? - Why? I'm in my house.

I know, but put something on, please.

Is this okay?

Coming!

Go to the bathroom and be quick, I don't know how to talk to a girl.

I guess your brother won't take long. I'm Gema, how about you?

- I'm not. - Right. You're Polar, right?

- Hi, sorry about the delay. - Don't say that, he's really nice.

He doesn't talk much, but he seems nice.

- I missed you. - I missed you too.

I talk about her all the time, right?

When was the first time he talked about me?

I was taking a shit and I cleaned my ass, and Rosendo,

who was almost done washing his teeth,

said: "I met a girl and I'm going to try to fuck her".

We don't need every last detail.

Maybe Polar is going overboard, but yes, I talk a lot about you. Will we go?

Nice to meet you, Polar. Nice underwear.

Thanks, your panties are cool too.

You should close your legs when you sit down.

Santiago Briones! Santiago, please, open the door!

Please, Santiago, open the door. Don't make us use force.

I wanted to tell you, but I didn't have the courage.

What will we do now, Dad?

Santiago, for the last time! Open the door and exit the property!

For God's sake, Dad, I have a mask on!

What are you doing? Dad, look at this degenerate.

Violence is the last resort, my son.

I agree, Dad.

Hit the deck!

I am suffocating.

Why do you push so slowly?

What do you expect? Between the heat, the €6,000 deposit for Polar

and the fact that we've been pushing all the way from Aranjuez...

Don't remind me of the €6,000.

Well, kids, we've finally arrived.

Welcome to Briones Palace.

- Is this real, Dad? - Yes, it's true! It's all ours.

Well, actually, not all of it.

A third of it is seized by the tax authority,

but the rest is ours.

My goodness. It is a stately home. It is a historic home.

It is...

From the 16th century. Hundreds of people will have died here.

Cool!

This is where I used to play.

I spent years of my childhood here, my early years,

the beginning of my life...

What memories.

Recollections...

Whatever.

I don't want to bore you with this, right?

- Right, Dad. - Let's go inside.

Let's go.

Go ahead, kids, go in.

Welcome.

Go inside.

- Is this where Grand Captain got married? - The one with the cheese?

- Of course, who else? - This is like a convent.

There must be rats as big as sheep here.

What a portfolio!

I hope there aren't any ghosts. Though I'm not scared of them.

Well? What do you think? What did I tell you?

I love it, Dad! It's all really vintage!

It's not bad. Check out those curtains.

I can make them into shirts for two seasons!

A little old, sure, but not half bad.

Half decent? Are you right in the head?

We're five pieces of shit in a palace.

Listen here. Did I say it's bad or that I don't like it?

No, I didn't say that! Did I or did I not say that?

- You've pissed him off. - No, I didn't say it!

There is nothing that pisses me off more than hearing things I never said!

- Did I say that or did I not say that? - No, you didn't say it.

That's enough. Go up to your rooms.

There's one for the four of you. Leave me the big one.

It's just, in the big one...

my father hung himself.

Well, your grandfather.

I don't want to bore you with these stories.

Good idea, Dad. Thanks. Let's check out the rooms!

Look, off they go!

Like madmen.

It's my own fault.

Well, mine and your mothers, too, God rest her.

We gave you everything you ever wanted

and here's the result.

Beasts who don't know how to appreciate good things.

You're not all the same, thank God.

Your mother used to say that.

"Polar isn't like them, he's different."

Thank you, son.

You've shown them...

a show of affection for your father.

Thank you.

Are you all right, son?

Eh?

You frightened me, you woke me up. Where are the others?

- What is this? - They're great, right?

I always wear them in my morning classes. That trip really wore me out.

Where did you say they are?

Upstairs, in the bedrooms.

Go with them.

And there I was talking about his mum, his poor mum. My God...

Jesus, what a group. These are the sons I have.

- Hello, what are you doing here? - Good afternoon, sir.

My name is Claudio Gallinescu, this is my wife, Claudia, and my son.

Let me guess, his name is Claudillo, like Franco!

- To the point, you're squatters. - We don't want...

We won't bother you, we'll be gone by tomorrow.

Where will you go with that munchkin? Damian, tell Dad to let them stay.

Well, if Dad says it's okay and you adapt to living with us...

- I like things to be done properly. - So do I, we're from Romania.

Yes, exactly. I don't like botch jobs.

I'm sure you've already swiped all the copper from the house.

I love it, it's like the seven dwarf's room.

He said he's Romanian,

but he sounds like he's from southern Spain.

But my love, they seem like nice people. It'd be nice to have some company.

- He looked at you funny. - Who, the bald one?

- No, the other one. - No, he didn't.