The Iron Maiden

Isn't she beautiful?

- You think so? - Oh yes, beautiful.

Oh yes, indeed, very beautiful.

Triumph, if I might say so, Sir Giles,

for Giles Thompson Airways.

Well thanks, thanks very much.

Very soon, the whole world will be singing the praises

of the T Stroke G T Stroke 3.

Not with a name like that, they won't.

I was the one you asked to name it, sir,

and I have tried many ways, naming it after the pilot Harry,

our designer Jack, and even after our Chairman,

you, Sir Giles. - Yes?

No go.

Perhaps our designer will have some suggestions

when he gets here.

Yes, where is Jack?

Find out what's happened to him, Bill.

Get me Jack Hopkins' cottage on the phone, please.

Hello?

Hello, Mr. Hopkins there?

Mr. Hopkins?

Who's that speaking, please?

If it's for me, I've gone, right?

Sir Giles who?

- Sir Giles Thompson. - Oh, Sir Giles Thompson.

And you want to speak to Mr. Hopkins?

Thought you were never coming (laughing).

He's left.

How long ago?

Well, The Iron Maiden's just going down the road now.

Got a good head of steam, too.

That's my Fred what does the firing.

Oh, very good at getting steam up is my Fred.

I don't understand, would you mind repeating that?

I said my Fred's very good at getting up steam.

Yes, no doubt.

But what was that you said about The Iron Maiden?

The Iron Maiden, that's the name

Well, I know that, but what's he doing on it?

Well, driving it, of course, what do you think?

He's gone to the rally.

Rally, what rally?

The Westover and District Traction Engine Rally.

He's gone to a traction engine rally.

Where is the rally?

Westover, and he's taken The Iron Maiden.

He's not going all the way to Westover on that thing.

That's what this woman says.

Look, if I take the car and intercept him,

will you be ready for your test by this afternoon, Harry?

Yes, I don't mind.

- Are you still there? - Of course I am.

That's the trouble, that's what I'm telling you about.

Don't worry, madam, I'm sorry to have troubled you.

Good day.

I must say, Sir Giles, I don't know of any other company

that would put up with Jack's behaviour.

Hasn't he got enough faith

in his own plane to fly in it?

All right, all right.

Have my car sent 'round, I'm going to fetch him.

would you send Sir Giles' car around

to the front entrance straightaway, please?

Stand by for your test flight this afternoon.

I say, sir, why don't we call it that the Silver Bird,

the Flying Bird, the Silver Flying Bird?

Ah, (snapping) the Swift.

You'll get a swift something else in a minute.

Hello, ladies and gentlemen,

and welcome on this sunny day

to the Westover and District Traction Engine Rally.

As you might expect,

we open the show with a grand parade

so that every one of you can get a good close up

of these champions of the steam age.

You will also be seeing them in a steering competition.

Dreadnought, ahoy.

Hello, Admiral. - Oh, blast the boy.

Good afternoon, Hopkins.

Cutting it a bit fine, aren't you?

I thought you decided to stay in home waters.

Well, we didn't hurry, Admiral.

After all, there's not much competition here this afternoon.

What do you say, Fred?

Nothing at all, I'd say.

Not much competition, why ya young sprog.

Just you wait.

The Dreadnought will blast you out of the water,

won't we, Vicar?

All right, Admiral, hoist your battle ensign.

- Vicar? - Yes?

- Action stations! - Yes, right.

I must say, the two that really take the eye

are The Iron Maiden, a Fowler showman's engine built in 1920

and its rival the 1914 Burrells engine Dreadnought,

as you might expect, in battleship grey.

The tug of war between, on my left, The Iron Maiden,

on my right, Dreadnought.

The Iron Maiden... - Come on, The Iron Maiden.

Come on, The Iron Maiden.

Come on, Dreadnought.

Come on, The Iron Maiden.

Pray, blast ya, pray, Vicar.

Just don't stand there with that blasted wheel

in your hand, pray like hell.

Go on, guv, give her the works.

- Come on, The Iron Maiden. - Come on!

Come on, pray, blast you, pray!

Come on, old girl.

Now that's my beauty, come on!

If the Admiral's not careful, he'll blow his fuse.

Turn on the injector cock, Vicar,

or we'll both be blown to the devil.

Speak for yourself.

Oh, to hell with you.

Come on, Fred, we've got 'em.

The Iron Maiden's won.

A terrific contest between two great rivals.

Bad luck, Admiral.

Bad luck be damned.

You had a five knot following wind in your favour.

Yes, the downhill gradient too, I suppose.

Now that you come to mention it, yes.

Oh, come off it, Admiral.

Why don't you just admit that The Dreadnought's past it?

Past it?

Past it, you've got a nerve.

Wait 'til we get to Woburn Abbey.

We'll beat the hell out of ya, eh Vicar?

The Iron Maiden, on the other hand,

handsome and debonair in her maroon and shining brass.

Hopkins!

Mr. Giles, what are you doing here?

I might ask you the same question.

Is something up?

Something should have been up,

the TGT 3, the plane that you designed.

- But. - But with all these

more important activities, I suppose it slipped your mind

that the test should have begun an hour ago.

Oh, good lord, sir, was that today?

Yes, today.

It is customary for the designer

to be aboard on these occasions.

Yes, Sir Giles, I'm terribly sorry.

Leave this thing where it is and come with me.

She flies, anyway.

Not bad, not bad at all for a traction engine driver.

Belt up and keep climbing.

Beautiful.

Beautiful.

Why not call it The Hummingbird?

That doesn't hum, it stinks.

Let me talk to Hopkins.

Hello, Jack.

Hopkins here, sir.

Everything okay?

Everything's fine.

Well when you get your height, see what she'll do.

Okay, sir.

Let her go.

- What speed did she do? - Mac one five, sir.

She wasn't even trying.

Mac 1.5, hey?

That's right.

Well, the timing is absolutely perfect.

I don't see how we can go wrong.

Mr. Fisher of the Trans-Global arrives from New York

tomorrow and I've invited him down here the next day.

Provided you can all spare enough time

from your private hobbies,

that hundred million dollar contract as good as ours.

From what I gather,

the new Polygon will take some beating.

Hmm, I'm not so much worried about the Polygon

as I am about the people who made it.

Lord Upshott is no fool.

He's got a highly trained sales staff,

they won't miss a trick.

And you can bet he won't hesitate to dazzle the fishes

with the titles and stately homes

and all the other social trimmings.

I thought Fisher was coming over here to buy a plane.

He is, but Mrs. Fisher isn't.

And there is a Miss Fisher, too.

Well don't look at me, sir.

That's one from bachelor gay.

Oh no you don't, I'm not that kind of designer.

I don't go in for those tactics.

Lord Upshott does.

He'll go to any lengths to sell Fisher the Polygon.

I happen to know that he's arranged for his son

to go and meet the Fishers

off the boat at Southampton tomorrow.

Yeah, the best of luck.

Has anyone seen the Polygon?

Yes, I have.