House of Lies

Previously, on House of Lies...

Hi. Hi! Hi.

You know, you got your cute little vegan chef.

Come on, this isn't you, Monica.

Me? My name is Julianne Hofschraeger,

and I am the interim CEO.

You think your house is a better place for me to be,

but you keep not showing up for me, Dad.

Not-not showing up? What am I supposed to do?

Are we not sitting here right now?

A lot of weird stuff happened that night.

I blacked out, so...

Did we...?

I don't remember, either.

Fucking animals. You don't want to run to him?

You don't want to give a quick run?

Okay, Roscoe, it'll be great.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa. Marty, Marty.

Yeah. I'll see you later, buddy.

All right, bye-bye. Look, Marty.

He's coming and we're nowhere.

Doug, will you just take a breath?

Okay? Clear out a conference room

and start chunking out some shit.

We'll call it a work session.

Listen to yourself.

Clean out-- We don't have a clean conference room?

This is the worst day of my life.

Douglas, shut the fuck up, okay?

It's Matt Damon.

He's used to living in a yurt

with uncircumcised refugees.

I'm sure a couple pieces of paper are fine.

I just... I want it to be perfect.

You know? I-I...

Why didn't he give us some more notice?

I could've made some sexy regression models,

could've gotten permission from Admin to

get that deluxe bagel and lox spread

we sometimes get; he would've loved that.

Shit. This just occurred to me.

We could've gotten treats from

Sweet Lady Jane. "Treats."

Could've been special.

Now it's not, it's ruined.

The whole thing's ruined.

Probably just wants to hire us

to pimp out his new charity, right?

Chances are, he's meeting with every consultancy in town.

So this is what we're gonna do.

And tell me if I am correct.

We're gonna let him do the talking.

That's correct. Then we're gonna flatter

the fuck out of him. Also correct.

Because he is an actor.

He just wants to be loved.

That's the most correct. Mm.

No.

All right? You know why?

Because he's not like that.

He's unique.

Om Nom, you little bitch.

Wow, you really are a go-getter.

I am.

Aren't I?

Yeah.

You okay?

I'm good, I guess.

Well, you look good, there's that.

Thank you, Marty.

Hey, you haven't, um...

had any more flashbacks, or...

Oh. ...memories?

Nope.

The well is dry. Whew.

Good.

Yeah. No, it is, it's good.

Yeah.

I mean, me, too.

Not-not a one.

Nothing. Okay.

Well, look, uh...

we got about 20 minutes before Damon shows up,

so let's get it together. Who?

Matt Damon.

Ma... what are you talking about?

You haven't heard about this?

No.

His business manager's a friend of Julianne's.

He's... on his way over here.

Wha...? Wants to explore

looking into starting a foundation,

probably he wants a brain dump,

20-minute blue sky.

He's probably meeting all over town.

Okay.

You okay?

Yeah. You need to stop by the salon?

No, I'm good.

Three, two, one.

Oh, shit.

Doug the Gugg is at a loss.

Doug the Gugg is at a loss. And that does not happen, it... I mean,

you can't do a statistical model. You can't do it, it's not possible.

in half an hour, it's not possible.

One can't!

One cannot! He's gonna explode.

There are too many variables.

What kind of, uh, charity

does he even want to start?

Did he ever say? Nope, not to me.

Is it a-- what are you doing?--

a grant model? An awareness model?

Or is it, like, uh, designed for longevity,

or a single iteration

with a defined endgame scenario?

Oh, what the...Goddamn it! Hey, Doug, you forgot

to actually shit yourself.

Marty. Hey, buddy. Ooh, hey.

So, um...

I know that I don't need to tell you

how much it would mean if you could bring Mr. Mattie D...

...onto the Galweather team.

Yeah. Oh!

I don't know, seems like kind of a brain drain.

I mean, look, an actor and his cause?

I don't see a lot of possibilities

for monetization in that. Oh, yeah. True enough.

Yeah. True enough.

But it would be major

Wall Street Journal porn.

Wow.

Great publicity.

That's your porn face?

Hot.

Ah! Wow.

Shake that off.

...e-mail you all the information about

the solar panels. I mean, you'd be amazed.

I mean, unless I'm just an idiot,

which is totally possible. No.

Oh, my God, I'm sure you're not.

I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.

It's not a big deal. No, it's such a big deal.

Thank you so, so much. Zanna.

Zanna. Zanna.

We're gonna start the...

Oh. Nice to meet you.

Clyde Oberholt. Hi. Matt.

How are you? Doug Guggenheim.

Hi, Doug. Matt. I know who you are.

Very nice to meet you. Jeannie Van Der Hooven, hi.

Hi, Jeannie. Matt. Hi.

Nice to meet you. So this is it, huh?

This is the... the Galweather Stearn

sanctum sanctorum, huh?

You have to go through two more sanctums

to get to the sanctorum.

Right. Right?

Uh, well, you guys know why I'm here, right? Yeah.

I, uh, do a lot of philanthropic work

and was looking at starting something new and, uh,

given your, uh, your reputation and your...

your ability to identify symbiotic partnerships,

I just kind of figured if we

kind of got together, maybe we could just

turbo-charge this whole thing, and...

we could really do a lot of good.

I think that's really wonderful.

No, it's nothing, really.

It's like... look, if I can't take this

little bit of, you know...

you know, whatever, stardust,

and-and, uh, and make something real out of it,

then... I mean, what the hell am I doing?

- Yeah. Absolutely. - Yeah? - Yeah.

But anyway, sorry to ambush you guys,

but I... but I did want to know

where you are, and what you're thinking.

Uh, Doug, you want to take it?

I don't need much notice, uh, Mr. Damon.

Believe me, you're dealing with one of the masters

of the, uh... well, art form

really, if you think about it,

in statistical modeling.

Cool.

Yeah. Nothing I can't...

handle.

So why don't you do something? Right!

Okay. Yeah. Nothing to it, it's easy.

Okay. For him to take us, so...

It's at your desk.

Great.

Here we go.

Epidemics.

Natural disasters.

War. All right? Takes a very big toll,

both spiritually and emotionally, on the children

in those affected areas.

Now, the issues facing children in developing nations