Have Gun, Will Travel

Smollett, where this man comes from,

your town would seem like a peaceful paradise.

Now leave him alone...

or take your chances with me.

This, my dear, is really a very simple trick.

Put your spoon

and the dull side

of the knife...

Well, um, meet Miss Viola Nasby.

Uh, Viola, this is Miss...

Oh, my name is Shotness.

Rivka Shotness.

I, uh, I am disturbing you?

Not a bit. Mr. Paladin is delighted.

Oh. Oh, you are Mr. Paladin, then?

Uh, well, Miss Shotness,

would you care

to, uh, join us for dinner?

Oh, yes, thank you.

Excuse me.

A glass of water. Thank you.

Oh, I tried to send you a telegram,

but the operator in Calabasas was afraid to send it.

Do you dress like this in the daytime?

Oh, no, it is very beautiful.

Afraid to, uh, send a telegram? Why?

Yes, they are all afraid.

All except my father.

I thought if I came to you and-and explained everything,

perhaps you would not be afraid to help us.

It, uh, it was your name that appealed to me.

In the holy tongue, it has a very favorable meaning.

Pala-"wonder."

Din-"judgment."

Well, perhaps I should raise my fee.

What about your father, dear?

Well, he reported the murder, naturally.

And this is what started all the trouble.

He is the leader of a gang.

What you call "outlaws."

Your father?

No, the murderer.

Billy Buckstone.

My father saw him shoot the man.

When my father reported it to the sheriff,

the sheriff only tried to arrest my father.

Why?

Every time that fellow is on trial

for murdering somebody,

the witnesses are struck blind,

and the jury men, they are afraid for their families.

And your father?

They offered him $2,000

for his horse and wagon

if he would leave town for a week.

And by that time the trial would be over

and Billy Buckstone would be a free man.

Do you know our town?

Very well. Oh.

Well, why stay in such a hopeless place?

Bring your father to San Francisco.

Oh, but it is not so bad, really.

Why, in the old country, we are surrounded by murderers.

In Calabas, why,

less than a dozen men are murdered in a year...

and no women or children.

Why, my father says the, the improvement is enormous.

Your father must be a remarkable man-

if he is still alive.

Oh, uh...

I, uh, I am sorry to interrupt,

but, uh, you are very beautiful.

Honey, don't you know you are, too?

Well, go on, help her.

I take care of myself.

Whoa... whoa!

Will you stable my horse for me?

Thank you.

There it is.

There's what?

Our wagon.

$2,000.

They must hate money.

Where is your father apt to be now?

Oh, he will be in the bar

for his afternoon beer.

Miss Shotness, will you excuse me, please?

Hey, Nathan.

Hey, Nathan?

Want to buy some old clothes?

How much will you give me for this shirt?

I carry mail

for the United States Government.

You got something to sell,

go wash out the stink from it first.

Well!

You boys hear what Nathan said?

Said I stink.

Boy.

Hey, Nathan, you got so much money,

you wouldn't take 2,000 U.S. dollars

for that horse and wagon outside.

How about buying me a drink, huh?

Hey, you boys ever see this old skinflint buy

a drink for anybody but himself before?

You drink with your friends,

I'll drink with mine.

Hmm. But you got no friends,

have you, Nathan?

Except me.

Ain't I your friend, Nathan?

Another friend.

You, uh, making out in front of all these fine folks

that my friendship ain't good enough for you, Nathan?

You don't even carry a gun, do you?

Maybe somebody would like to loan him one.

How come you so anxious to see Billy Buckstone get hung?

I'm not interested in Billy Buckstone

one way or the other.

Leave the law take care of him.

Oh.

I don't know about that, Nathan.

You, uh, you ever see

one of these

up real close before, Nathan, hmm?

Careful now.

That thing might go off in the wrong direction.

I'll bet you wish you had enough guts

to point that at me, huh?

Whoever sold you this, he's still laughing.

Look at that.

The bore is all pitted.

Your hammer is loose.

About the only thing it's still good for is driving nails.

This boy wants to be a gunman.

Doesn't know even have

to buy himself a working piece of equipment.

But these children,

they throw away their money on fancy silk shirts.

But when it comes to their own life,

they begrudge another dollar.

With that kind of equipment,

lowlifes like you terrorize half a county.

Oh, believe me, boy chick in the czar's army,

may he rot in the ground.

They would have feed you to the horses for straw!

What say, boy chick?

What are you laughing at, jackass?

All right, Nathan,

we'll, uh, see each other again, huh?

We'll find out who gets the last laugh.

Hmm?

What kind of a thing is that?

Running away without leaving me note?

If I told you, would you have let me go?

No. Who is he?

This is Mr. Paladin.

I hire him to protect you.

A man with ten dollars worth of hardware,

right away he's bigger than the law.

I take care of myself.

Papa...

For that we came to Columbus's country?

To hire killers and be as bad as they are?

Mr. Shotness, I'm not a hired killer.

You're not?

If I say I give you a thousand dollars

to kill that little Cossack for me,

you wouldn't do it?

I would not.

It's a good thing because I haven't got a thousand dollars.