The Goodwin Games

Beat you by one minute.

That's Henry Goodwin 14, alarm clock zero!

I am a machine.

Technically, so are you,

but I am a better-looking machine.

I'm invincible.

Ow!

: Damn it!

I can't believe I slept with Chloe Goodwin.

I can't believe I got booty-called by April...

Lawyer.

Yeah, you did.

Cho.

My last name is Cho.

Yeah, it is.

Where are my manners?

I need to ask you out again.

Where are my socks?

I need to get the hell out of here.

One's lodged in the ceiling fan.

I'm wearing the other one.

Can you guess where? Hint: It's not on my foot.

Oh, God, I hate my life.

Time's up! It's on my penis. Ugh. God.

So, you never want to tell your brother about us?

If... that's okay?

You can't ever tell your brother about us.

That is okay.

Seriously. I am your dad's lawyer.

This is an ethics violation.

I could be disbarred.

It's just that Henry is a total ethics queen.

If he sees us, he'll be like,

"Lecture, lecture.

"He's a professor, you're a student. No sex. Eat more iron."

Have him eat more iron.

Yeah, uh... Hold on.

Kate, hey.

No, four-tiered wedding cake, honey.

Next.

Live band, one trumpet player.

Where's the...?

Well, I don't care, but-but full bar.

I swear I put toast in here.

Yeah.

What the...?

Uh, h-honey, hold on.

Sorry, I got fiancée on the other line.

Read me the guy's chart.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

How's his stool?

: Ew, that's disgusting.

Really?

Tiny bones?

What is this guy, an owl?

No, he... I don't really think he's an owl,

but it's the weirdest...

He's just such a hypochondriac.

I know, don't do...

Just because there's blood

doesn't mean it's not psychosomatic, okay?

Of course Dr. Richland wants to intubate,

the woman doesn't know her mitral valve

from her abducens nerve.

Do we have fun?

Yeah.

All right, uh, look, I'll call you in a few.

Yep.

What?

Okay, seriously, what's happening to my toast?

Uh, you sure you don't want a ride?

No, no, no, I'm good.

Um... not to brag,

but I happen to have a lucky parking spot.

Every day, the parking lot

is completely full, except for one

perfect spot right in front of the math building.

There's only one explanation.

You're magic? I am magic.

Well, magic, could I see you again tomorrow night?

I'll bring flowers.

You are allergic to flowers.

I don't care.

: Gosh,

sure is good to be downstairs for the first time this morning.

Yawn. I slept so well with nobody else in my bed.

Question: Which one of my lazy siblings

put that box of dad's stuff

in front of my bedroom door?

I am not lazy.

I didn't salt those yet.

Eh, I'll just leave for school early.

I...

Actually, doctor.

"I'm always saying how I'm a doctor"

M.D., the reason that box is in the hallway

is 'cause Chloe and I already went through it.

Oh, good. Well, I'll drop it off at the church later today.

Really? You don't want to look through dad's stuff?

Is there a young man in there who will die

if I don't transplant his kidney?

Oh, my God, I hope not. Then, no.

You sure you don't even want to go through his old math books?

The guy had a pretty sick sense of humor.

Drew a lot of sideways butts.

Pretty sure those are threes, bro.

Agree to disagree.

Toast! No, Jimmy, I...

Hey. Hey.

Quick donation.

Last of dad's stuff. Sorry to leave it

right there. I can't talk.

I'd love to stay and chat,

but I'm late for work-work.

Are you okay? You seem a little frazzled.

I'm a machine. I don't get frazzled.

Ow! Damn it.

Your shift at the tutoring center? Move it to Tuesday night.

They're closed Tuesdays. Next Tuesday, then.

Evening, Leroy.

Dr. Goodwin, your opinion?

Looks like a lung.

Of course it's a lung...

You have something for me to sign?

Uh, yes, but I don't have the forms yet.

There you go.

What?

But I'm magic.

I am magic.

April?

April?

What are you doing here?

Just collecting orange cones.

You know, the way you collected

lacrosse players in high school.

Sorry. Habit. Wait, so,

you were saving me that spot every morning?

That is so sweet...

slash, creepy.

Are you in love with me?

Your dad wanted me to make sure you actually went to class.

I know you tend to give up easily when stuff gets

the least bit difficult, so...

parking spot. What?

I do not give up easily.

What were you gonna do if you couldn't find parking?

Skip class and go get yogurt,

unless the line was too long at the yogurt place.

Okay, I see your point.

Hey, it's still very creepy of you.

What else did dad do that I don't know about?

Chloe: It turns out,

it was never a lucky parking spot.

It was our lawyer moving cones.

Isn't that freaky?

I'll tell you what's freaky:

This guy Freaky Pete.

In jail, used to call him Freaky Pete.

Had a toenail on his knee.

Looked like an eye.

Come on. Henry?

No. No, not freaky.

Seriously, neither of you cares

that dad is trying to control my life through April?

No, because he's not.

April moved some cones.

Get over it. You're acting crazy.

I'll tell you what's crazy.

Staring contest with a man's knee.

20 hours. I lost.

Dad got us to move back into the old house.

He enrolled me in college.

He's gonna find a way to get you

back in Granby for good. Trust me.

Dad is dead, Chloe. He's dead.

He cannot control us from beyond the grave.

Go time. I'm coming, pop!

Car keys!

Benjamin: Hello, Goodwins.

Initially, I thought

I'd give you a prize today.

Check under your seats.

You get a car! You get a car!

Jimmy: Yes! Seriously?

You get a car!

Oh, my God.

Everybody gets a car!

Gotcha! Quack, quack, quack.

Instead,

you each get a riddle to solve.

Goodwin, and good luck.

"Hokey-pokey

"steeplechase.

Answer this to win the race."

"Trouble. I've another spy.

Chloe, find him. Fly, goose, fly."