Avenue 5

Okay. Have a great morning, everybody.

Fly safe, fly true.

Fly... Safe!

Fly... True.

Captain Ryan.

My daughter wanted to meet the hero

who saved Avenue 3.

Oh, well, he's ov... Oh, you mean me!

- (CHUCKLING) Yes! - We're all heroes on this ship.

What's your name?

- Jade. - Powerful.

Powerful name.

Okay, Captain Jade has the bridge, everybody.

Just in time to press the button to clear the main thrusters.

It's not connected to anything.

This way, Captain Jade.

Good morning, Iris.

Surrounded by stars, and yet still you shine.

- Noted. Mr. Judd is indisposed. - Oh. That's a shame.

He's fracking some merchandise ideas,

- and he just hit gas. - Did he say that?

- Yes, he did. - Of course he said that.

So, you're hosting the passenger breakfast.

Your guests...

- Is that Mrs. Rodriguez? - It is.

I met her yesterday. Deaf in both ears.

You could just say "deaf."

I hear you, Iris. 'Cause I'm deaf in no ears.

- Breakfast is in... - Crew karaoke tonight, Captain?

I only ever sing when I'm drunk.

So ask me again at 5:00 p.m.

- You got it. - Breakfast is in tw...

Hey, set your phasers to fun.

- Aye, aye, Captain! - (LAUREN LAUGHS)

- They are so great. - No, they're really not.

- Breakfast is in twenty minutes. - Twenty minutes, yeah.

Okay.

You know what you could talk about?

We just set the record for the biggest yoga class in space.

Really? Who did we beat?

Come to the Judd Over Easy Breakfast Buffet.

If you're not completely satisfied,

you're wrong.

Okay, all right, can we just be done now?

I'm done. Are you?

- Yes! I'm done. - Great.

So, can we just say sorry and move on?

Movin' on.

- You didn't say you're sorry. - Neither did you.

You said, "Let's say sorry," but you didn't even say it.

Okay, well, I'm sorry I ever married you.

- Is that good? - No.

- Is that good enough for you, Doug? - I'm sorry I ever met you.

Believe me, I can't wait to never see

your lunky face ever again.

Oh, I know whose face you wanna see again.

Mr. Hunk McSpunk here.

- There you go. Jesus, did you go through my phone?

- You psycho! - You zoom in...

I zoomed in too much. Wait. Right there!

I bet you wanna rock that like a bad banana,

- don't you? - Yeah. You know what? I do.

And thank you for reminding me

of all the hot banging sex I had with him.

- It was phe-no-me-nal! - Oh, I'm glad you loved it.

- Okay. Oh, shit.

I forgot my... plate back there. Save me a seat.

Oh. Yeah, yeah, sure. By the way,

it's gonna be at the bottom of the swimming pool

on Deck Fuck You!

- (DOUG CHUCKLES) I'm so sorry.

Can you hand me three Danishes, please?

Ladies and gentlemen, enjoy today's cocktail,

the Judder Juice.

It's mostly milk.

Hey. Good job.

I like to see folk take pride in their work,

even if some might call that work "menial."

Not me, though. I value your labor.

Uh, I didn't see the gloves. Thanks. (SIGHS)

- Oh, Mr. Judd. You're here. - Hey.

- I thought, uh... - Yeah. No, no, no.

I came up with a week's worth of great ideas

in, like, 11 minutes.

Here. Uh, make what I say on here happen.

Who's my favorite captain? Ooh!

New idea.

For fuck's sake.

We'd sell more steaks

if the restaurant was completely red.

That's science, probably.

Uh, check that it's science.

Change restaurant lights to red.

(SIGHS) Yoga. So relaxing.

And I'm not even bending.

It's a yoga supernova. They bend so we don't have to.

Does yoga burn a lot of calories?

Because we're losing profits in the food court.

Can they, like, move more?

Um... Fast yoga?

Fast yoga?

You know how old asteroids are?

They're even more ancient than this old astronaut.

(OVER PA) Final call for the asteroid.

But they don't look as good for their age.

Look at that piston, huh?

He's been checked, right? The old guy?

- To work with kids? - The ex-astronaut? Of course.

Yeah, he's just telling them

- about the... - Oh! Oh, the asteroid!

Everybody up! Up! There's a... a hot-ass rock comin'!

- Come on! He means please.

An asteroid is coming, in a good way!

Diagnostics came back on Ave 2.

Slight oxygen dip, but should be nominal by 0900.

Uh, Ave 5 slingshot round Titan is all on schedule.

- How did the vent clean go? - Uh, A-Okay. Although...

Great, keep me updated on the Titan fly-past.

Get in, people. Enjoy the view.

Oh, God. Here we go.

Hi. Welcome to Judd Mission Control.

My name's Rav Mulcair, director of Judd Galaxy.

Oh, excuse me. Hatch seal inspection all good?

- All good. - Good.

As you can see, there's a lot of technology here,

but all... Uh, trajectory good?

It's good. - Good. All you need to know

is that it keeps your loved ones safe,

and keeps me on the coffee. (CHUCKLES)

Okay.

Can't we have, like, forest or lake,

or just, you know, space?

It's been stuck on

"heavy industry" for two days now.

- No, it's not changing. - But can you fix it?

I think he's trying, sweetheart.

You know, we have an observation deck.

- Yeah, there we go. - Oh! Okay,

I have an observation and we don't even need to go

- to a deck for it. - (MATT CHUCKLES)

We paid for a space cruise.

Well, okay. I mean...

- you say "paid," right? - (FRANK SIGHS)

But it was your sister who paid for a non-transferable ticket.

- Now, I'm not saying... - All right.

- You're stowaways. Right? - Whatever.

No. I hope you're not saying that.

No, Karen, look.

When I was 19, I would go to music festivals

and I would sleep in the port a-potties,

so I'm not a stranger to stowaway culture.

- (FRANK STUTTERS) - Okay, we're not stowaways.

Okay. - She paid for a ticket,

- she couldn't come. Right!

Foot operation. Her little toe is enormous,

bigger than her big toe,

and I'm signed off with stress from my office, so...

Sorry to interrupt, um...

Miss Ellis in 810, she wants to know

if we can move the guy in 811.

Apparently, his breathing sounds fat.

Okay. Uh... Excusez-moi.

Duty calls.

But I would love to disperse your irritation.

And I would love to hear more about Joyce's huge little toe,

- so, uh... let's circle back. - Okay, well, I will circle back

in an hour.

She will. She's very persistent.

Well, I'm very absorbent.

What does that mean?

I don't know.

Okay, let's go live to Avenue 5!

How much do these know?

Uh, the civilians know about the 26-second delay.

Lovely. Mr. Judd, hello! (CHUCKLES)

Right.

While we wait for the delay,

why don't you... give them the tour?

Oh, why don't I...? Thanks. Great idea.

Oi. Russian. Wind it.

Uh, that is an award-winning atrium, in terms of design...

Yes. Yes. Yes to that.

This is the main dining area, which is red for a reason.

That is the spa area... I can't deal with that now.

To help you relax.

There's even a soft play area. Yay.

I want one. (CHUCKLES)

Mr. Judd, hello!

Welcome to space! - (CHEERING)

Wanna watch us run rings around Saturn?

Why's she just standing there?

Why is she... Why is she not talking to us?

- No, it's the delay. - What are you talk...

I thought you had a guy outside fixing that.

We do have a guy outside.

All right. (SIGHS)

Operation Complete Waste of Time. Joe...

Tell me, what can you see?

I see absolutely no point in being here.

I see that we are about three hours before we slingshot