North Dallas Forty

And good morning, Dallas. Ron Chapman on KVIL.

We've got a gorgeous morning working outside.

Temperatures at 8:00 in the morning

standing already at 68 degrees outside.

We expect them to go up to, oh,

75 degrees sometime this afternoon...

Oh!

Get his ass out of there, Jo Bob!

I ain't touching no faggot!

Faggot!

Give me five!

Get out of there before you drown, asshole.

Get out of there. Let's go hunting.

I ain't going hunting.

What? Come on!

Let's kill something! Get up.

Come on. No! Get out of here!

Oh, come on, you goddamn...

We just want to kill a little something. Come on.

Yee-haw!

Ha! Damn!

See that old cow out there?

Want to see her run?

Oh, Christ, they're shooting at cows.

Hell, they're too drunk to hit anything. Don't worry about it.

Oh, man, they're just crazy.

Oh, my God.

Do you know something? Hmm?

O.W., did you see that?

I can't figure out how I dropped that turn-in.

It happens.

No, man, not to me it doesn't, you know?

Jesus Christ, you caught the game.

Let it pass, pal.

Relax. Enjoy yourself. It's a pretty day.

Man, I had that ball right in my hands.

I just couldn't hang on to the damn thing.

John Henry, the man is just like you.

He's never satisfied.

Hey, I'm going to dump these suckers up here.

Gee whiz, son!

God dang, the marines have landed!

Come on out! Surrender, you suckers!

Ha!

Come on, O.W., go and fake them fuckers up.

Elliott, where's your gun, man?

Freud says that guns are an extension of your dingie, Jo Bob.

That son of a bitch.

He's a regular wise-ass, you know that?

Hold up, O.W.

B.A. wants me in his office tomorrow.

Oh, yeah?

Must mean I'm going to start, huh?

I doubt that, poot.

What the hell do you mean? I made some great catches.

They can't keep me on the bench forever.

Son, you ain't never going to get off that bench

till you stop fighting them suckers.

You got to learn how to fool them, man.

Give them what they want.

I know. I've been fooling them bastards for years now.

For Christ's sake, man. If you start pretending to be somebody else,

that's what you're going to end up, being somebody else.

God damn it, if I didn't like you, boy,

if you didn't have such great pair of hands,

I'd keep my mouth shut and watch you go right down the tubes.

I'm going to tell you something for your own good.

You had better learn how to play the game.

And I don't just mean the game of football.

Hell, we're all whores, anyway.

We might as well be the best.

There's one! God, watch...

Damn you, Jo Bob! You crazy son of a bitch!

Jesus Christ!

Why? We damn near got the bird. Didn't you see it?

I think we did get him. Jesus Christ!

(CHANTING) Go! Go! Go! Go!

All right, let me have that TV right here.

There it is! (LAUGHS)

Thirteen. Look for thirteen.

Yep, I'd rather face Pittsburgh's defensive line

than one of Peter's parties.

Somebody's got to do it, though. Right?

Hey, man, it's all yours. Go for it. Right.

Hey, big guy. How you doing? Good to see you.

How's it going? Good game, baby.

Tony, good game, my man.

Howdy, howdy.

Hey, Seth, great game, boy.

Hey, mama.

All right, sweetie,

come on, now give Jo Bob a nice kiss. Come on.

Hey, it's nice to be back, man.

All right, come on, come on!

Ah, goddamn!

Hey, Maxwell! Hey, Seth!

Hey, Phil.

Hey, Peter, where's that dolly you promised me?

Ooh, he's ripped tonight, ain't he?

Hey, Jo Bob, what are you going to do against

Alcie Weeks in Chicago?

You know what I mean? Crazy guy!

Know what I mean? Crazy guy.

Come here, come here. Oh.

Hey, Jo Bob, I got a great dolly for you.

She's last year's Miss Farm Implements.

Come on this way.

You should talk to her for five minutes.

She's from SMU, and she's almost a virgin.

Hey, doll, come on here.

Now, help him to relax, honey.

He needs, uh, understanding. (CHUCKLES) Yeah.

Show 'em your finesse, Jo Bob!

Hey, Billie Joe!

I've never seen titties like yours.

I swear to God, I never have.

They're... They're beautiful. They're...

Hey, Jo Bob, how you doing?

How you doing, Elliott?

Can I show your titties to my buddy O. W.?

Can I? Would you? All right?

O. W.! O. W.! Come over here!

Whoo!

Ooh, John Henry, don't get so excited.

We got all night. Who's John Henry?

He's an old friend of mine. Ooh.

Hey, did you girls ever try a quarterback sandwich?

Sounds good to me.

Hey, Seth, I need to talk to you

about that condo deal down at Padre Island.

Not now. Not now, baby.

Hey, did you ever drink a pink poontang?

No. (LAUGHS) It'll get you high.

Hey, Phil. Phil.

Great catch, boy. Great catch.

Listen, I got some ostrich boots

and some lizard, and I'm going to get them for you

soon as I change my shirt.

Say, Alan, be with you in a minute.

Got to go change my shirt!

Hey, Phil. Oh, man, we were just leaving.

Hey, Eric. Hi, Susie. Hi.

Susie wants to get home

and put little Audrey to bed, you know, all that.

Yeah, and it's almost time for the Osmonds.

So, um...

Why don't you come over Wednesday night for dinner?

Yeah. Look, guy, why don't you come on over?

Fitch and his wife are coming.

Afterward, Susie's going to read some scripture, you know.

Uh...

Oh, man, maybe we'll all take turns or something.

Hmm. All right, I'll try hard. Okay?

Yeah. Okay.

All right. See what you can do.

All right, Sue. Come on. We got plenty.

Bye. See you later. Bye.

All right? All right? All right.

Hey, how you doing? Hey, Billy.

See you later.

Being a little hard on yourself, aren't you, Andy.

Yeah, I know. Yeah.

See that stewardess over there? Which one?

Oh, that one, over there.

Goddamn, does she get off on football?

Man, you know,

Allie got some tits from her the other night

just by showing her that little bruise on his calf!

The way I figure it,

if she's going to give up some tits

just by showing her a bruise, you know,

I mean, once she sees this blood here,

you know, she might give up the whole thing.

You know what I mean? Uh-huh.

Hey, Phil, I'd love to sit here

and talk to you, but I can't.

I got to test out Balford's theory of erotica.

Check you later, baby.

He's real intelligent, ain't he?

Oh, poor baby. You like that?

Oh. (KISSES)

Come on, Andy, I'm with her.

Andy, I'm with her, I said!

Why don't you just get in there

and just go ahead and kiss him?

It's nice to see there's a little romance left in the world.

It's an old story, boy meets boy.