I Want My Wife Back

We used to come here all the time.

We were so in love.

For ten years, everything was perfect.

Oh, what was I thinking?

It all started to go wrong when I got promoted.

Bex, shall I serve up?

I'm so sorry, Lisa, it's just this new job. I'm sure he'll be here soon.

Hi, Murray.

Oh.

OK.

Would the godparents please step forward?

Ugh! Before I knew it, I was working weekends.

- (PHONE RINGS) - Sorry.

Hi, Murray.

Oh, right.

I even managed to miss Valentine's night.

I suppose sometimes you just lose sight of what's important in life.

I really hope it's not too late.

This is an Edinburgh Airport security announcement. Please remember...

I can't remember which is which now.

It's difficult, isn't it?

I think I like this one best.

Really? D'you think that would work for a younger woman?

Well, I think so.

Sorry, I didn't mean to imply you weren't, er...

It's for my wife, she's 40 today, so...

Oh, not that 40's young, but it's younger than, um...

How old are you?

Don't feel you need to answer that.

- So you'll take this one? - Yes, please.

Cos what is young these days, anyway?

They say 50's the new 40, don't they?

40's the new 30.

- I'm 42. - Oh, really? Oh, well done, it's, er...

Well, that's why it's very helpful to get the advice of a 42-year-old

on what a younger woman of, er... 40 might like.

- Shall I put it in a bag? - Yeah, stick it in the old bag.

There, that old bag, that bag, not...

You know, your plane leaves in five minutes.

What?

Hi, Bex, it's me. Pick up if you're there.

No?

Look, really sorry, hon, bit of a problem with the flight,

so I'm going to have to miss your birthday breakfast and go straight to the office.

I know, I know, it's me making this phone call again,

but I'll see you later at home.

Love you. Oh, er, one more thing...

I'm gonna take the back route, mate.

Oh, no, no, left, it'd be quicker.

Honestly, just follow the signs to Brighton.

Don't worry, I've done this route before, you know.

No, you'll hit traffic at the lights.

All right, but don't blame me.

I'm trying to sing Happy Birthday here.

I know it's me making this phone call again, but...

Dear Murray...

I'm... going away...

...for... for a bit.

Yes, I know it's short notice,

but I thought it would be nice if a few of her friends and family surprised her.

Yes, tonight.

All my love.

Bex.

Yes, it is last minute, but I've missed her birthday breakfast and...

Kind... regards.

Cheers.

I'll just put Bex.

Oh, Murray, thank God you're here.

Morning, Emma.

Everything OK?

A memory stick has gone missing with loads of Pentratech's data on it,

and IT are saying you're the last person to have it.

- Yeah, yeah, I've got it. - You... what?

I took it to Scotland with me. The investment conference.

Oh, God!

Oh, what a relief.

I thought you were in real trouble there.

No, everything's under control.

Oh, I want to kiss you.

Please don't.

No, no, not here.

Not right now.

- (LIFT DINGS) - Ah, the lift.

Saved by the bell...

of the lift.

Ripped By mstoll

I love your tie, by the way.

Thanks.

Got it from Bex, my wife.

- She's 50 today, isn't she? - 40, yes, yeah, yeah.

I'm actually organising a surprise birthday party for her.

Are you? Oh!

Yeah, well, she's been a bit down recently,

I think it's the big 4-0, you know, didn't want to celebrate at all.

The plan was for a night in with me and my famous poached salmon.

I love poached salmon! Can I have the recipe?

Yeah, well, it's just sort of poached.

There we go, Barney.

So, how many people are coming to the party?

So far, I've got 14, but I'm hoping for about 20-odd.

Oh, she doesn't deserve you, Murray.

I mean, I'm just saying she's...

you know, so lucky to have you.

And you going to all this effort, the party...

- (LIFT DINGS) - Oh, here we are, the fourth floor.

Yes, our floor.

My favourite floor.

Hi, Grant, er, about the party again.

I'm not checking up on you, I'm just seeing if you got the message.

I'm not being judgmental, I'm just...

There's no tone to my voice, Grant.

Look, if you can pick up some booze after work, that'd be great.

How can you take offence at the word "great"?

OK, fine, I'll pick it up myself!

No, I'm not cutting you off, I'm...

Grant!

Oh, hello, Don.

Come here. Give your father-in-law a hug.

No, not in the office, not in the office.

I brought the balloons for the party.

It's a brilliant idea. I've spoken to Gord and Aud, they're keen to come.

D'you remember them? They stayed with me and Paula

in the villa in Turkey last year.

Excellent. Er, sorry about this short notice.

I thought they were gonna give you a bigger office.

Ah, well, not yet.

It has been mentioned.

I think that proposal got lost on Curtis's desk.

Well, if it's been mentioned, they should see it through.

Where is Curtis? I'll remind him myself.

- Oh, no, Don, he's... not around. - Don't let him forget,

you were Relationship Manager of the Year last year, you deserve it.

Oh, hello, Curtis.

Do you remember my father-in-law, Don?

Hello there.

Yeah, nice to see you again.

You know, Murray's always saying how lucky he is to have you as a boss,

but then you're very lucky to have him.

Well, he's a very valued member of the team.

And he's a very valued member of my family.

Good. Well, I'm glad he's so valued.

In which case, why haven't you given him a bigger office?

Thanks for dropping by, Don.

He was Relationship Manager of the Year last year, you know.

Yeah, I know, I gave him the award, that's me in the photo.

Is it?

- Christ, you've put on weight! - (MURRAY LAUGHS)

I'll see you tonight, then, Don.

Yeah, all right.

See you around.

Are you all right, mate?

Quite a character.

So, how was Edinburgh?

Oh...

manic, as usual.

Weren't you meant to be there?

Oh, er, something came up.

How was the weather?

Oh, it was all right. Yeah. Rained in the afternoon.

OK. OK, and what did you do after the conference?

Oh, we went for a sushi.

Sushi. Er, where?

Wakimoto's.

Wakimoto's.

And you were staying at the Radisson, weren't you?

Yes, sorry, is there a problem?

No, no, not at all.

Oh, about tonight, Bex's party,

got the message, Tamzin's really looking forward to it.

Oh, great.

It would just be better, if the whole Edinburgh thing comes up,

that I was there with you enjoying the sushi in Wakimoto's.

- You were with me? - Only if it comes up.

Right.

And obviously I was with you at the... Radisson.

Were you?

Yeah.

Thanks, mate.

It'd just be better for us if we stick to that story.

Better?

For... Tamzin...

...and me.

- OK. - Great.

- My notes from the investment conference. - Thanks, honey.

Murray.

Keeley, hi, d'you get my message?

Just wondering if you're able to bring a cake.

- Cake? - Yeah, for Bex's party tonight.

What, are you having a party tonight?

Yes, yeah.

You're having a party when Bex is moving out?

- Sorry, what? - Oh, my God,

she's not told you she's leaving.

- Not told me what? - Nothing.

Nothing to do with me, Murray, you heard nothing from me.

- Keeley. - God, I'm such a stupid bigmouth!

Murray, promise me you won't say it was me.

Keeley, what are you on about?

I hate myself, I literally want to die.

Keeley? Keeley?