Gravity

That's how I know you.

Robert: The suicide dummy.

Jorge: What about girth?

Joyce: That's where we can really improve. Más. Más.

I've always wanted to try yoga. You'll come with me.

What, are you guys, like, "bromancing" now?

Miller: I'm afraid I have prostate cancer.

You jump right in, don't you? So do I.

Jack, what do you got for me?

Uh, your funds are being channeled through not one,

But, uh, several different well-covered swiss bank accounts.

I don't get it, dogg. You're our leader.

The person who walked in here

Will attempt to kill themselves again if they don't change.

And even change doesn't ensure immunity

Against going to a dark place once in a while.

For most people,

A dark place is soothed with a good cry,

Shopping, a slice of cake,

A good whiskey, or a good fuck.

But for us, the headlights of an oncoming train

Seem like the only panacea sometimes.

And the only true kryptonite

Is being honest when they come up

And talking about it with people who understand.

Us.

Jorge: I had a dream last week

That I walked into a rigged building

Before it blew up again.

It kind of freaked me out.

I've had dreams like that.

I mean, not about blowing myself up,

Which probably would have been a better way to go

Since I'm such a bad shot.

Except you feel even more pathetic when you fail.

I mean, who walks away from 200 pounds of dynamite?

Man, Georgie porgie does!

Or, en español, Jorge porje.

That's what I'm talking about.

Alive is the new dead.

Baleedat!

Okay.

Oh! Robert! Robert!

What? Hold on a second.

Isn't that that "suicide dummy" guy

Who drove his car off a cliff?

He's cute.

Hey, man. Hey.

Oh, shoes off. Shoes off.

Never thought I'd actually be taking a yoga class, you know?

Yeah, you probably never thought

You'd actually try to drive your car off a cliff, either.

So I just -- I... Socks.

And I just roll the mat down here?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's, you know, a little claustrophobic for some,

But, you know, you get used to it.

Namaste.

Hey, can I ask you a favor?

Yeah.

Could you please stop making jokes about my...

You know, car thing?

Did I do that?

Yeah, you've done it a couple times.

Oh, wow. I'm sorry.

I get it. It totally won't happen again. Sorry.

Done. Thanks. Thanks.

I see why you come here now.

Lot of fit young ladies.

Oh, yeah, no. I actually come here to get closer to god.

I'm serious.

Well, that's admirable, but, I mean,

A loving union with a woman is certainly a major conduit

To feeling nearer to our creator, right?

Nah. I've fucked enough girls for a lifetime.

I-I only really want to share that kind of intimacy

With someone that ends up becoming my wife, at this point.

All right.

I don't -- I don't really even jerk off anymore.

Like, what is that?

"Ooh. Ooh. Cumming. Ooh. Orgasm."

Fucking whatever. Big deal.

Total chi retention, like a boxer.

It's amazing how much more energy you have

When you don't waste it foolishly.

Yogi: Ommmm.

All: Ommmmm.

Ommmmm.

How'd you like it?

Oh. I couldn't believe -- I just did a headstand.

Dude, that was crazy.

Do you understand that it took me like two years

Before I could balance without the wall?

Freaked me out a little bit.

I mean, there's nothing between the floor and my face.

You know, it's really interesting

That falling over backwards scares you less than falling on your face.

Not falling over backwards requires faith, which I have.

Not falling on my face requires me to not care what other people think,

Which, apparently, I need to work on, right?

What did you think of that kabalabati breathing?

It was a little weird, but I liked it.

I actually do it underwater,

Because I feel more connected to my breath that way.

That's so interesting.

I-I've always liked the sound of my own breath when I'm scuba diving.

Yeah, that's why that is.

I'm actually doing a session tonight at my house at 9:00.

You should come over and do it with me.

Oh. Um...

Did you have something more important going on

Than radically changing your life, I guess?

I'm in.

Awesome.

Dude, fucking photo booth?

I-I didn't even know they made these.

Come on. We got to document your first headstand, man.

No, no.

You don't give a fuck what people think about you anymore, right?

Come on. Let's go.

Yeah. Gay, not gay -- don't worry about it. Come on.

Not gay.

So, where am --

Um, where do I sit?

I'm a big fat cop. Don't worry about it.

Just sit down. Go ahead.

oh, man.

Go ahead.

I'm glad we're getting to be friends.

ah! Come on. Get your handsome mug in here.

Am I -- I'm in?

When I finally start fucking people again,

It's gonna be people with a pussy -- don't worry about it.

And this is all the stuff that Beatrice left for me --

That woman from the senior citizens home?

Oh, Beatrice. She left this to you?

Mm-hmm. That is so sweet.

Wow. Look at this.

A beauty in her day, I am positive.

What I'm gonna do is take old designs

And then add -- like, this one needs lace.

My mannequins aren't here yet.

Hmm?

One thing I love about myself

Is I can look alternately really quite handsome --

Like, male-supermodel handsome --

And also semi-retarded.

I'm gonna see you later?

Yeah. Yeah, tonight, right?

I'm Barbie.

No, you're ken. I'm Barbie.

But I'm wearing the dress.

Well, stop being a baby.

Ken always did favors for Barbie.

Yeah. Ken did favors for g.I. Joe.

Uh-huh. Barbie was a bitch.

I mean, I still wanted to bang her -- don't get me wrong.

Well, brushing her hair would have been enough for me.

I was one of those girls who didn't even have a Barbie.

Really? Wow.

Strict is one thing, but that's -- that's crazy.

But, you know, I wish I had a little bit more of it.

See, I was a boy that was never punished.

Ever?

Well, my dad -- he, um...

He caught me once

With my dick in the end of a vacuum-cleaner hose.

See, I was using the suction to try to make it longer.

And he just closed the door

So my mother wouldn't find out.

Yeah. He told her that I was cleaning my room.

I mean, they thought I was perfect.

Don't worry. My father doesn't know me, either.

Mm.

I don't know -- I had a whole great day planned,

But I-I don't think I can top this.

She made me wear this.

I got to go.

I got a football game to get to.

Ugh!

Tackle. Rugby, actually.

No pads.

Yeah, 'cause football's for pussies.

A picnic basket? I feel like Doris day.

Oh, my god. I love Doris day.

I mean, rock Hudson.

Rock Hudson, yeah.

I mean...Uh...

John Wayne.

john Wayne. I love john Wayne.

Look, uh, I'm going to come back tomorrow

With my big metal tools.

Oh, hey, I meant to ask you --

How's the, uh, newest big tool working out?

Oh, it's good.

I still, you know, got to work out some kinks,

Like not face-fucking chicks with lockjaw,

But other than that, it's -- it's superb, man.