How to Make It in America

* I need a dollar dollar *

- * a dollar, that's what I need * - * hey hey *

* well, I need a dollar dollar *

- * a dollar, that's what I need * - * hey hey *

* said I need a dollar dollar *

* a dollar, that's what I need *

* and if I share with you my story *

* would you share your dollar with me? *

* well, I don't know if I'm walking on solid ground *

* and all I want is *

* for someone to help me *

* I need a dollar dollar *

* a dollar, that's what I need *

* and if I share with you my story *

* would you share your dollar with me? *

I washed it...

In case you have to wear it today.

- Thank you, grandma. - Si.

- Are you sneaking out? - What? Oh, god. No.

- Sorry if I woke you. - It's fine.

I'd offer you some coffee, but the pot broke.

Oh, really? The vintage joe dimaggio mr. Coffee?

- Mm-hmm. - Oh, man. Sorry.

- You loved that thing. - Yeah, I did until it shattered

And almost took a finge

- That sucks. - Yeah.

Shit happens.

Yeah.

It does.

So, um...

-...It was good seeing you. - Yup. It was good to see you too.

- Okay. - Bye.

hey.

How you feeling today?

- Been better. You? - All good.

We need to talk to the cops and see what they got on the truck,

So meet me at the police station, all right?

And hurry up, 'cause I don't got time to fuck around today.

Whoa whoa. Who is this? What have you done with my friend cam?

Your friend cam is now a slave to his cousin rene,

So you know what that means.

What the hell is a rasta monsta, anyway?

- It's an energy drink. - Never heard of it.

That was the point of the truck. - Right.

It says here it's been insured as " a work of art."

- It was - apparently it had a mural

Of "a skeleton with dreadlocks

Getting pulled by a team of angry pit bulls." lovely.

So nobody you interviewed outside of the diner saw anything?

Nope. They never do.

These cops need to step it up.

My tax dollars pay for their salary.

What? - Your tax dollars. But still...

Well, one of us needs to call haraki

And tell him we're not delivering the t-shirts today.

Ben, the day still isn't over.

Either way, it's not gonna happen today.

No way.

Yeah, I guess the right thing to do is cancel

And keep the relationship good and open for the future, right?

Yeah. I mean, that's a better look for crisp

Than just flaking completely, you know?

I'll call haraki and I'll tell him.

All right. Well, let me buy you breakfast first.

- I can' - what?

I've gotta work.

- Edie: Good morning, gorgeous. - Good morning, edie.

Is this a happy call or a sad call?

Are you available to meet me at the hotel?

- Yes, I am. - Okay.

So see you there in an hour?

There's a bonus in this for you, sweetie.

Bye, edie.

How much for a billboard on houston?

Are you fucking kidding me, man?

That's a lot of fucking money, bro.

Shit, for $200 and a bag of weed,

I can hire this hood rat that lives in my building

Who'll climb up and paint a nice mural, man,

Right on top of the calvin klein ad.

You think that'd make the company look too ghetto?

Oh, fuck. Yeah, you're probably right.

Will you please hold on a second?

What the fuck is this, bro?

I said egg whites, not egg yellows.

- Are you fucking color-blind? - They're egg beaters.

They lady said egg beaters are the same thing as egg whites.

It's not the same thing.

Look. Can you learn to follow directions

Before I turn into a cam beater?

- Mm-hmm. - I'm-- I'm so sorry.

Yeah, my little cousin- he just started working for me.

He's half retarded.

hello.

Hey, how you doing, man? It's cam calderon from crisp.

I thought you were coming to deliver last night.

- What happened to you? - Well, we had a little problem

With the shipping on our end.

Oh, I hope the problem is cleared up.

Are you bringing me my shirts today?

Of course we are. Yeah. Yeah, you'll have them by tonight.

If your shirts sell like I think they can,

I want to backup the order with some hooded sweatshirts.

We can do that. We're already working on some hoodies, so that's perfect.

- Just let me know how many. - Good.

My assistant will call you soon to tell you where to drop off.

Thank you, haraki.

Who steals a delivery truck like that?

- That's some serious crackhead shit. - I think cam and I are cursed.

Oh, shut up. You're not cursed. Stop. - Well, we're not blessed.

Dude, did I ever tell you the story about my uncle julius?

No, I don't think you did. - Oh, he was the coolest dude back in cleveland.

Everybody loved him. He's got nine kids

And he drove the bus. The dude was never not happy.

- What happened to him? - He won $2 million in the lottery

And then got severely depressed.

All right? Lost it all within the year

And now he's back to driving the bus, happy as hell.

You lost me, man. - All right, dude. Let me just telyou,

Things come and go. Money comes and goes. T-shirts come and go.

Sometimes there's greater forces at work that we're aware of.

You know what I mean? You've just got to roll with those fucking punches.

- You know, bob and weave. - Damn.

You just got really deep on me there.

You know, I get my philosophize on every once in a while,

- Dropping gems. You know? - I love it. I love it.

Who is this? Hold on.

hello. Yeah, this is ben.

What are you doing, huh? Sit.

Oh yeah, haraki's guy. What's up, man?

He told you what?

Yo, no personal calls during work.

Jabar, let me ask you a question.

- What's up with the truck? - What do you mean?

I mean with all the people y'all know on the streets,

- No one's seen nothing. - Nope.

Then why are we not looking for it?

We could find that shit ourselves.

- You're crazy. - Come on, jabar.

I know a dude like you can make one phone call

And make that shit appear like that.

I probably could, but it wouldn't matter anyway,

'cause we can't put the damage claim in before Monday.

Damage claim? What you talking about, damage claim?

Don't you mean stolen claim? - Lost, stolen or damaged, man. What do you care?

'cause I care.

"'cause I care" is not an answer.

'cause yesterday when we left union square

We went to go pick up 300 t-shirts

From this silkscreener out in brooklyn

And the t-shirts were in the truck when it was stolen.

Your shirts were in the truck?

Yeah. They're supposed to be on a plane to tokyo tomorrow.

- This is sad. - Yeah, I know.

Come on, jabar. I need a ride from somebody

Who can see over the steering wheel.

You stay and go back to work.

Come on.

Grab my car.

Ben. - Why the fuck do I have haraki's people

Calling me about a drop-off tonight? Did you not cancel?

- I might not have - are you crazy? Why?

I have no idea, but this shit ain't over.

When I talked to haraki it was over,

- But now it's definitely not over. - Whoa whoa, cam.

What are you talking about?

I think rene stole the rasta monsta truck.

What? - Jabar was talking about filing a claim

For a truck that's still missing, then rene walked in

And bailed him out. The whole shit felt mad suspicious.

Okay, look.

Even if it's true, what could we possibly do about it?

go s rene.

- With no proof? - I know it in my bones, man.

All right?

All right. Where are you?

- I'd love it. Oh! - That's really good.

- Hi. - Darren: 10 minutes late.

It's not nice to keep the boss waiting.

I thought they'd teach you something like that at brown.

Yeah. - I'm kidding. I tried calling you last night.

Darren and I were just having a very titillating conversation

About the budget for this place.

It might even involve some purchasing trips

To some very exotic locales.

Wow. Well, that sounds real nice.

- Edie: Mm-hmm. - That sounds very nice...

...But I'm out.

out where?

Out of here. - Edie: What are you talking about?

I'm not doing this hotel.

I'm not. Darren, thanks for the offer,

Really, but this is just not how I like to get new business.

With that said, you should hire edie.

She's gonna be an incredible asset to you.

But, rachel, you work for me,

So ij I'm doing it, you're doing it.

Actually, I'm not working for you anymore, because I quit.

I quit edie weitz designs.

- Slow down, please. - I'm cool. I'm cool.