Sunshine Cleaning

Attention all fellow deer!

If you find deer feed in the middle of the forest,

be a bit suspicious.

'Morning, sir. How are you doing?

Good.

I'm looking for a 20-gauge,

maybe a Coach or a Western Competition Special.

Yeah, I think I have just what you need.

- Try this one on for size. - Thank you.

- Hey, Cliff. - Yeah?

The 12-gauge and 20-gauge shotgun shells should be here by Thursday.

Make it Tuesday with the .454 Casull.

Good job.

Hi.

It's a real rager, huh?

Norah.

Norah.

What?

Norah, the restaurant's on the phone.

You're supposed to be at work.

I'm sleeping, Dad.

Hurry up.

Whoa.

- You're fired. - I just...

Just a couple questions here.

All right, it was a 12-gauge?

A 20-gauge.

So it was a Coach gun? You were behind the counter?

Sir, here's your contract.

I hate these shotgun cases... a real pain in the ass.

And he had a shell in his pocket when he came in here.

Inside his jacket.

- He brought his own ammo? - Then he was up there.

The guy scattered all over this place, and every blob of him a bio hazard.

Hey, Carl, he's over here in Fishing too.

Yeah, a real pain in the ass.

All right, thanks.

- Thank you, guys. - Thank you, gentlemen.

All right, we're wrapping it up.

Three grand just to wipe the asshole up off the floor.

Hey, you can handle this report tonight, can't you?

I got a thing I gotta do.

Is it a blonde thing or a brunette thing?

You are strong.

You are powerful.

You can do anything.

You are a winner.

- Ooh. Hey. - Aunt Norah's here.

Finally. Thank you. I'm gonna be so late for class.

And she brought Crunchy Corn.

Crunchy Corn, Crunchy Corn, Crunchy Crunchy Crunchy Corn.

- Hey. - Sorry.

Mm!

Guys, don't eat too much of that.

He's gonna be hyper all night, you realize that?

Yes. Yes, I do.

All right. How do I look?

- Good. - Yeah?

I'm kidding.

I love you.

And don't tell him any more Lobster Man stories.

He had nightmares all week.

Okay, just use some common sense, okay?

Okay. "Thank you so much." You're welcome.

He hears this horrible sound.

This is how it goes.

Snap.

Snap, drag.

Snap. Snap, drag.

And the thing is that he knows

that Lobster Man is out there somewhere,

and he's totally screwed

'cause his tongue is stuck to the mailbox.

Well, then why did he lick the mailbox?

Because he has OCD

and is obsessed with licking mailboxes.

Well, then why wasn't he in school?

Are you gonna let me tell the story or are you gonna drive me crazy?

Well, maybe he didn't go to school because he had the ACD.

Sorry.

You should hear the way he goes on

about his lean body mass

weight index bullshit. God.

When was the last time you even played basketball, Mac?

He needed to be brought down a peg or two.

I'm sure you pulling your groin muscle really impressed him.

I should introduce him to your sister.

Oh, yeah, Norah and a cop... that's a good idea.

Hey, you know, I was working a scene today

where this guy offed himself in a sporting goods store.

So they brought this cleaning crew in, right?

You would not believe how much they charge for that shit.

With the body there?

No, the body's gone. It's just blood and stuff.

That's gross.

Yeah, well, if you ask me, it's a racket.

You ought to get into that.

Do you think that's all I can do, is clean up other people's shit?

Come here.

Come here.

You know that's not what I think.

- Will there be anything else? - Yes, please.

- Yes, sir. - A cup of coffee and your name.

Oh, forgive me. I forgot my name tag.

Yeah, I noticed.

- It's Emma Jean. - Emma Jean, I'm Stan.

Nice to meet you, Stan.

Hey.

I thought your class got over at 9:30.

Why isn't he in bed?

He said he was scared. I think he was faking it, though.

Here.

No, don't.

- Take it. It's $10. - No.

I know you need it. Dad told me about you getting fired.

Great.

What happened?

You know what, Norah?

When you're gonna grow up and start taking responsibility

and start taking some pride...

Rose, you love it when I fuck up, okay?

Me screwing up gives you the hugest woody.

Shh.

Take the money.

Please.

There was a diner scene earlier,

with a waitress.

Any pie?

Completely pie-free.

Hi.

Excuse me, we're all finished.

Because it's our first visit, we did the blinds and the appliances,

but we're gonna alternate those weekly in the future.

- And nobody mentioned... - Rose?

Rose Lorkowski.

Yeah.

Paula Datzman, cheerleading squad, junior year.

Paula Datzman, hi.

Wow. How are you?

Great. Well, I'm Paula Datzman-Mead now.

- Oh, congratulations. - Thanks.

We're expecting our second in a couple of months.

God, you know, I was always so envious of you...

head cheerleader, dating the quarterback.

Did you and Mac end up getting married?

No. No, you know,

I heard that he married Heather Volkmann.

It's so great seeing you.

- Here, let me get your information. - Okay.

And I'll send you an invite to the baby shower.

Fantastic. Great.

It'll be like a big reunion.

The whole gang from high school is gonna be there.

Yeah?

So what are you doing now?

I just got my real estate license.

Real estate?

Yeah, this is just a temporary thing

until I phase over into real estate full time.

You're kidding. I'm in real estate with Long & Foster.

Really?

Who are you with?

Me? I haven't decided yet.

Maybe I'll check out Long & Foster. They look nice.

Come on.

Shit.

Hello.

- Hello, Miss Lorkowski? - Yeah.

This is Mrs. Pierce from Sandy Elementary School.

- Oscar's in trouble again. - Okay.

His teacher and the principal are in conference,

and they really want to meet with you immediately.

It's not just this incident.

There have been several episodes during the last year

where Oscar has engaged

in disruptive behavior.

There was the incident in the gym class.

I paid the damages for that.

And the time when he locked Jeremy Johnston in the...

Okay okay.

What did he do this time?

Now it's licking.

First it was the pencil sharpener

and then the aquarium.

It's unsanitary and it's disturbing to the other children.

We feel that Oscar might benefit from an environment

where he could receive more specialized attention.

What does that mean,

"specialized attention"?

He licked my leg.

In situations like this

- we generally recommend medication. - I'm not doing that.

Actually, it's not so much a recommendation as it is a requirement.

There are many drugs that are very effective

with very few side effects.

We all feel that this is the best solution for everybody involved.