Paris, I Love You (Paris, je t'aime) (Paris, je t'aime)

F

A COLLECTIVE FILM

PARIS, I LOVE YOU

Little neighbourhood romances

But in the end they still get married.

I meant every word I said in the Louvre this morning.

Bicycling? Where does he bicycle to?

You're leaving?

Shit.

All grabbed!

Shitty neighbourhood, shitty radio.

[MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ON RADIO]

Give me a break, slug ass!

Move, you bitch!

Already?

Crazy.

Shove off, buttaface.

I just got here so I'm, like...

Brats, fuckin' brats.

All taken. It's getting tragic.

What's wrong with me?

I'm well preserved, adaptable,

I have a nice car in running order.

OK, minus a wiper blade and one air bag, but still.

A salary not to be spat at, a decent sense of humour...

I can laugh at lots of things

including myself.

I'm laughable. A lonely joke.

My world is a glove box. Empty.

What the...

Can you hear me?

Stand back! I'm a doctor.

Keep your wife lying down.

Lie still. Down, girl, down!

Nothing to worry about.

Down, girl!

Let her sit up.

Should we dial 911? No need.

It's just low blood sugar. Eat carrots.

Better still, beets.

For sugar.

You'll feel better lying in my car.

Good idea. Down, girl, down!

Drop the "Down, girl." It's annoying.

Suit yourself.

Is she OK?

[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO]

I'm afraid I have nothing for you.

I'm not big on Kleenex boxes in the back window.

Thanks. You're welcome.

You stayed calm.

I took a first aid course.

If you'd hadn't come to, I'd have given you CPR.

Cardiopulmonary resuscitation.

I'd have laid you out straight...

Can you turn off the music?

I liked the feel of your hand on my neck.

Me too.

When you think about dolphins

stranded on a beach, people throw seawater over them

but it's useless.

They die surrounded by unknown beings.

Who says it's useless?

Anyhow, your shoes are great.

My Clarks?

I've had them since I was 14.

I don't wear them every day. I treasure them.

No. No, no, no.

My tobaccologist is expecting me.

My tobaccologist.

Soon?

I'll drive you.

The traffic may be bad.

No problem. I'll weave around.

I won't be long.

No problem. I'll wait...for you.

Check that thong!

Honey's got an ass like a peach.

Show me your thong, I need to floss my teeth.

Please!

Oh!

Check out the Thai hottie.

How about a hot Thai massage? I have a place nearby.

Woo-hoo.

She didn't have any tits anyway.

I get more pussy than you two put together.

In your dreams man.

Why do I always have to get the girls?

You ain't got shit so far.

Leave it to a true player.

Hey, ladies! You're looking sweet today.

Yeah? Call me when you're old enough to shave.

She dissed you, man.

You ain't never getting laid.

You're the one not getting laid, not me.

You're in France now!

Asshole.

Nice trip!

That's not cool.

Where you going?

You OK, Miss?

Virgin to the rescue!

You OK?

Assholes.

Thanks.

They're just ignorant.

I'm sorry. Doesn't matter.

Can I help?

Please.

Sorry!

I don't know how.

How's that?

How do I look?

I'll show you.

Give us a smile.

You're even worse at this than getting girls.

My friends do that stuff, not me.

They're pathetic.

You have beautiful hair, why do you have to cover it up?

I don't have to. I choose to.

Too bad. Because you're so pretty.

You mean I'm not beautiful in my hijab?

That's not what I meant.

You and your friends don't know shit about women.

Why talk to them like that? When you can see they don't like it?

If I want to look beautiful, I do it for me.

When I wear this I feel part of a faith, an identity.

I feel good.

That's what beauty is.

Tell that to your friends. Then maybe one day,

they might even get laid.

I have to go.

Where to?

The mosque.

Can you...

Thanks.

And thanks for helping me.

No problem.

You got a crush?

What?

You into brown girls now?

Fool, you touch her and Osama will personally bomb your ass.

That's true, man.

Hey, girls! Looking for me?

Babe, you're late!

I've been here an hour!

Hi.

Grandpa, the boy who helped me.

I'm surprised to see you here.

Francois.

I'm Zarka.

How are your hands?

OK.

It was good of you to help her.

Only natural.

Are you going our way?

Are you a student? Yes. History.

Good boy.

Knowing your history is very important.

My Zarka wants to be a journalist for Le Monde.

She wants to write about France

but her France. God willing.

God willing.

Hello!

Elie?

Can you get us some wine?

So...

Let's take a look.

Fantastic.

Have you got something that you can--? You can get this colour somehow?

These colours are--

She says it's important to get the same red.

Right.

Is this? Is this?

It's...it's almost a blood red,

but I don't know if it is a blood.

It depends on what kind of blood.

Blood red.

Did? Did we use blood, Gaspard?

No, I think we used auto paint.

I think it was car paint.

Come out back, we'll find it.

Haven't we met?

I'm sure I know you.

Where do you live? I'm in the 17th.

Maybe I've seen you around.