YOLO Crystal Fantasy (YOLO)

I did it. I'm gonna have my very own garden.

I can't wait till these little seedies

grow into little planties.

Sarah, I know you want to start your own garden,

so I dug out me old Blood & Bone from the garage.

Thought you could use some Blood & Bone.

Uh, it's alright, Dad, the YouTube video

I just watched said I could use Wollongong soil

'cause apparently it's very nutritious. Alright, fine, fine.

Forget I said anything about the Blood & Bone.

I guess you don't need the Blood & Bone for your garden.

Yep, I was just trying to help,

but I guess you don't want any help from me.

Fuck you, Sarah.

Alright, well, um, guess I just wait now.

Sarah!

Oh, hey, sis! Oh, my God!

I haven't seen you in months. How was Portugal?

Yes, it was lovely! Thank you!

I rented an Airbnb in Portugal, and --

What are you looking at? I'm talking! Uh, sorry.

...in Portugal to write my novel,

but I met a man, and we had a coronavirus romance!

Now we are getting married!

Oh, my God! Congratulations! That's incredible, Sharon!

Thank you! That is why I have come!

You and Mum and Dad are invited to my wedding

on Planet Bali tonight!

Here is the pretty invitation I made on Photoshop!

Oh, yeah. It's very pretty.

See you all there tonight!

Fucking hell, she was loud.

Hey, Sharon just dropped around to invite us to her wedding.

She's getting married on Planet Bali.

Who's Sharon?

My sister? Your daughter?

Oh, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.

So you guys coming?

Nah.

Unh! Oh! Ah!

Mm! Ah!

Is Mom alright?

Yeah, she'll be right.

Hurry up. How long is this gonna take?

Now, now, Rachel, blade-smithing is a delicate process.

These forging techniques span thousands of years.

We mustn't disgrace the steel gods of Gwentalia.

Shut the fuck up, man. Is this nearly done?

Yep, here you go.

These Lucas blades go like hotcakes on my Etsy,

so you are very privileged to get one this quick,

in my opinion.

Fuck, yeah. This is definitely my new look.

I know you just commissioned me to make this blade,

but may I ask what your intentions are with it?

I had a vision at some stupid, fucking backyard hippie party.

Saw myself as, like, an empress or some shit holding a sword.

I guess I always wanted this for myself,

but I never realized I could make it into a reality till now.

Alright, now shut up.

Hey, Rach-- Oh, hi, Lucas.

Oh, hello, Sarah.

You look rather beautiful and sun kissed today.

Thanks. I've been gardening.

I'm kind of, like, a gardener now.

Oh, that's so cool!

Personally, I like tech stuff, but nature is cool, too.

I enjoy the fractal element. What do you want?

Oh, my sister Sharon is getting married on Planet Bali.

Did you want to come? Could be fun.

Yeah, alright, but I'll warn you --

I get pretty emotional at weddings.

Oh, really? I didn't know that.

Yeah, something about two people finding each other

against all odds gets me going.

And the free drinks.

Oh, you're going to a wedding?

I love weddings!

But alas, I wasn't invited.

So I shall listen to sad music and walk home alone.

You can come if you want.

Yay!

I know you two are usually the feminine duo,

but I sense a new vibe for us.

We're a trio!

And I shall now write our theme song in my head.

I haven't seen your sister in ages.

Remember when we used to get fucked up and bash people

at Wollongong Train Station?

Um, that was just you two.

Oi, can't come in with that sword.

It's my new look. I'm not gonna use it. Calm down.

Sorry, love. No weapons allowed.

Ugh, fine. Whatever.

Oi, stay out here and mind my sword.

We're a trio.

Uh-huh. Can you wait away from me, mate?

Oh, good. We made it just in time.

Do you, Sharon, take this, whatever it is,

to be your lawfully wedded husband?

I do!

Crab-tastic.

You may now kiss.

Peleeken? That's the guy from the Bush Doof.

Fuck. Sorry.

It's just so beautiful. It's like a fucking fairy tale.

Ah.

Sarah! You made it!

Of course. Congratulations!

I didn't know you were marrying Peleeken.

Rachel and I know him.

Thank you, yes! We met on my 30th birthday!

I was partying at Portugal Club in Portugal!

All my friends were passed out,

but then I looked across the room, and there he was --

Peleeken!

I knew right then and there we had to get married!

Yes, I never believed in love at first sight before I saw --

Shut up! I'm telling the story!

Sorry, dear.

That was so awkward.

Yeah, how long do you give it?

Like two months.

It is time, everyone, for the wedding photos!

I see what's happened.

I've been used. Classic.

Hey, there. Hello.

I saw you from across the pond.

You have beautiful eyes, but they seem full of sadness.

What's wrong?

I'm in love with the most beautiful woman