South Park

Be quiet back there! These roads are SLICK!

Hey Cartman. What?

Are you gonna share any of that cake with the rest of us?

Mm, let me think. No.

Come on fatass, you shouldn't be eating all that cake anyway.

Mm it's chocolaty and delightful.

GIVE US SOME CARTMAN!

Be quiet back there!

Whoa dude, the road is really snowy out there.

The road is always snowy.

I know but it's REALLY snowy today.

Mm I can't possibly finish this whole cake,

uh, oh yes I can. SHUT UP CARTMAN!

Ok, that does it.

Ya'll be quiet or the cute little bunny dies!

Dude she always tries to quiet us down by threatening to kill that bunny,

but I wonder if she ever would. Oh she would dude, she would.

GOD!

Oh for Christ sake I don't believe this!

Come on fat boy give us some cake now.

I cannot possibly eat one more bit of this chocolaty goodness...

oh wait wait wait try..

DAMN IT CARTMAN YOU ARE SUCH A FAT FUCK!

What did you say?!?!?

I'm scared! Be quiet kid!

And right up here you can see a red bellied chickadee.

They're indigious to this area.

What was that?

What was what?

All done.

Sit down and shut up!

I said quiet! Or else I'll kill the bunny!

- Where are we? - I have no idea.

I don't think we're in a very safe spot.

Yeah what are we supposed to do?

Just keep your traps shut, I'll consult the manual.

Ms. Crabtree?

Shut up kid! I have to watch a training video!

Hello and welcome to tape 7 of the bus drivers video guide.

What to do if you become stranded.

By now you've calm down the children and kept order by using the

"keep-quiet-or-I'll-kill-the-bunny" technique. Now it's time to get help.

The most important thing to remember is the children will be safe as long

as they stay on the bus. So do not under any circumstances

let any children off the bus.

The best way to achive this is to tell them something like

"a big scary monster will eat you if you step off the bus"

Kids! Do not get off this bus!

If you do a big scary monster will eat you!

That's right. With the children properly subdued, you can leave

the bus and go out looking for assistance.

And remember your bus driver's code: "sit down and shut up!"

I'm going for help. I'll be back as soon as I can.

Remember don't get off this bus or a big scary monster WILL EAT YOU!

Hey why doens't the scary monster eat her?

Cause dumbass, scary monsters don't eat big fat smelly bitches.

What did you say?

I said Larry King won't grant me 3 wishes!

Hey this is not good. She could've at least left the heat on.

Had to happen to me didn't it?

Looking for love oooh baby, looking for loove, doooo

Oy, supper time. Come to papa.

Hello little lady. Going my way?

SHUT UP AND HELP ME INTO THIS THING!

Come on I haven't got all day!

Take me to the nearest town and make it snappy you freak ass crack pot!

Yes ma'am, right away ma'am.

So uh, what's a fragile dove like yourself, doing out on a a night like this?

Look mister, I gotta bus load of kids trapped on that pass,

and I need a crane, helicopters and all that crap!

Here let me have some of your aspirin.

Uh, uh ma'am those are actually roofies.

Roofies, aspirin, right now I don't give a rat's ass.

How far to the nearest town?

Mmm sweet.

You guys, what if Ms. Crabtree doesn't come back and we're all trapped here forever?

We couldn't get trapped here forever Cartman. We'd die after a couple of days.

Dude! What?

I don't wanna die on this bus with you assholes! You guys suck!

Would you just relax? We've been in a lot worse situations than this and come out of it just fine.

Worse than this? Well sure.

Don't you remember that time when the aliens kidnapped your little brother Ike?

Now that was scary.

This sucks. How come the visitors aren't coming for him?

I think we have to signal them somehow.

Hey he's like Rudolph.

Yeah, all you have to do is fart some more Cartman,

and the visitors are sure to come.

Really? Ah, I don't think I can fart anymore tonight.

Sure you do.

Come on Cartman, fart!

I don't wanna.

He can't hold it in forever.

Fart damn you!

Ok, that does it. Now listen!

Why is it that everything today has involved things

either going in or coming out of my ass?!

Whoa, look at that?

It's completely immature!

Hey it's happening again!

It's an ice cream truck! Now do you believe us Cartman?

You guys can't scare me.

Cartman! There's an ice cream truck sticking out of your ass!

Hey look the aliens are getting ice cream!

Wow I guess everything's gonna be ok.

Now that was what I call a sticky situation.

You can say that again. Was that how it happened?

Stop let me off you turd!

Hey I wanna help you.

I care a lot about that bus load of uh what was it again?

Children.

Yeah right. Let me come with you.

What the hell is this crap?

I hate flying. Talk about something I hate, it's flyin'.

Say uh, are those roofies kicking in yet?

Well I don't think so!

Damn. You guys like impressions?

No! Here's my impression of Robert Deniro,

"Hey yous, yous guys, shut up yous!"

You suck!

Yous guys shut up.

Sit down and shut up!

Come on lady, I love you, you love me!

I SAID, SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP!

Baby you're wonderful. You're a natural!

You're the funniest comic I've seen in years!

Why don't you just shut the hell up!

I've got to get some assistance for my broken down bus!

Broken down bus that's great, great angle.

Do you see her dude? Nope.

God damn it, how long is this gonna take?

She's never coming back. Don't you get it? She's left us here to die like pigs!

Calm down dude, you're upsetting Kenny.

I can't take it anymore! I have to get out of here!

No kid! You heard what Ms. Crabtree said, there's a big black scary monster out there.

Well I'm not gonna sit here and wait to die with the rest of you.

If I make it back, I'll send help.

Don't do it kid!

Maybe Ms. Crabtree did make that stuff about the big black monster.

Holy crap dude!

Gross!

Well, I guess nobody else will be getting off the bus.

Hello? Oh hello Ms. Cartman, it's Sharon, Stan's mother.

Oh yes Sharon, how are you.

Ms. Cartman is your son at home?

Hold on dear, let me check.

Hon I made beefy logs!

I made cookie dings!

Not he's not here.

Well now I am worried. I tried all the houses and nobody know where they are.

Oh dear.

I'm telling you Marty, this woman is a natural.

I haven't seen a funnier person since Maury Povich.

What's her angle? I can't even explain it. You have to see it.

Alright, this better be good.

Come on in, come on in.

What the hell did you bring me to Denver for?

You brainless brain fecolpheliac!

Mr. Jonas, this is Ms. Crabtree.

Pleasure to meet you.

You look like a lump of dog shit just got hit by a CAR!

What did I tell you?

She's fantastic.

How would you like to make a million dollars baby?

How'd you like to suck my ass?

Let's get started right away.

You gonna be alright? Don't touch me!

I'm sorry do you need anything?

No. I just... What?

Can't help but feel like I've forgotten something.

What time is it? It is 12:07.

On Wednesday or Thursday? Dude I think it's Saturday now.

What? I'm missing the new Fantasy Island.

Oh man I don't think it's very safe to be on this bus.

Well we can't go anywhere or else that big scary monster outside will get us.

What do you think it is?

I don't know it's a big scary monster.

Hey, maybe it's that thing scuzzlebutt. What?

Don't you remember? That time we were out camping with your uncle Jimbo and Ned.

That lava's coming right for us!

Heeelp!