Castle

There are two kinds of folks who sit around thinking about

how to kill people... psychopaths and mystery writers.

I'm the kind that pays better. Who am I? I'm Rick castle.

Castle. Castle.

I really am ruggedly handsome, aren't I? Every writer needs inspiration,

and I've found mine. Detective Kate Beckett.

Beckett. Beckett.

Nikki heat? The character he's basing on you.

And thanks to my friendship with the mayor,

I get to be on her case. I would be happy to let you spank me.

And together... We solve crimes. We make a pretty good team, you know?

Like Starsky and Hutch, Turner and hooch. You do remind me a little of hooch.

Sexy, sexy.

Ladies, I love it. I love it. I love it.

Sexy sexy is not a crime.

What's so special about

world-famous mystery novelist Richard castle?

He's rich, he's handsome

and he's basing his next best seller on you.

Tell me, detective Beckett,

what's it like being the inspiration for

thrill master Richard castle's new character Nikki heat?

On behalf of the NYPD, it has been a pleasure

to offer Mr. Castle insight into the profession.

Given all his best sellers, it's obvious Mr. Castle

has tremendous insight into the criminal mind.

I'm told in many occasions, his participation

was essential to solving your toughest cases.

Really?

You were told that? By who?

By castle. (Man) Try unbuttoning his shirt. Just... just the first one.

Right there. Yeah. Could you excuse me for a moment?

Love it. I love it.

Sir, could I talk to you in private

for a moment, please?

Beckett, I have a couple... now.

We had a deal, Beckett.

The deal is off.

What's the problem? Not only does he have

the bachelor-party cop twins out there

using him as a stripper pole

while I make nicey-nice with the press,

but do you know what he said? No.

He said that he has been instrumental

in helping us solve crimes. Well, hasn't he?

That's not the point. Do you know how hard it is for NYPD to get good press?

I mean, in a magazine that people actually read.

This article is very important to the mayor.

Therefore, we are going to cooperate.

Do I make myself clear?

Okay. Fine.

It was nice to meet you.

We should have photo shoots here more often.

Hey, Beckett, how come you don't wear a uniform like that?

Because I don't want to get paid in singles.

Hey.

Oh, hey. Uh, don't we have that thing?

No.

Yeah, you know, that thing with the guy?

Oh, yeah. The thing with the guy.

Yeah, excuse us.

I just wanted you to know, I had nothing to do with this.

I mean, it was the magazine.

And... and, well, the mayor thought it would be good press.

You don't have to explain yourself.

Really?

Really. See? I don't care anymore.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have an interview to get back to.

What did I do that was so wrong?

The one thing I asked you not to do. Okay.

So you asked me not to look into your mother's murder,

but look at what I found. It doesn't matter what you found.

I put that all behind me a long time ago.

We can get back to the interview now. No, gonna have to reschedule. We just caught a body.

So sorry to step out on you, Amy. Ooh, are you kidding? It's perfect.

A chance to see castle in action.

Our readers will love it. Well, we wouldn't want to disappoint your readers,

now would we, detective?

Hey. Can we talk about this, please?

There's nothing to talk about.

Well, just at least let me know

what I can do to make it up to you. You could leave me alone.

Yes. Well, I tried that, and it didn't work.

Hey, I could buy you a pony.

Focus, castle. Crime scene, okay?

It's raining men.

Castle, what are you doing here?

Don't worry. We're still mad at him. Guy in a tree, mom and dad bickering...

seems like old times. Mm-hmm.

How's it going up there?

I got tree branches poking my boobs

and spotlights shining up my Booty.

Could be worse. You could be wearing a skirt.

When I come down, I'm-a smack you.

I'll be looking forward to that. Here.

Vic's a white male, late 30s.

Judging from the cracked branches,

I'm guessing he did a Superman off the top of that building.

Vic's name is John Allen.

I.D. has him on the upper West Side.

Business card has him in insurance. Mm.

Is it a suicide? (Castle and Beckett) It's not a suicide.

How do you know? Um, the building is too short.

He'd want to kill himself, not cripple himself. Well, if you want to die, you're gonna aim for concrete,

not a tree.

Judging from the angle of descent,

I'd say that guy was thrown off the building.

Since it clearly wasn't a suicide, how did he die?

There are signs of strangulation.

It looks like his windpipe was crushed. Any ligature marks?

Nope. "Ligature" refers to anything that ties or binds,

like a rope or a belt.

Lack of any marks suggests he was strangled by hand. Wow. You really know your stuff.

No wonder they like having you around.

You know what? He's such an incredible resource,

it seems like a shame to waste his talents here in the field.

Would you mind going back to the morgue with Dr. Parish

to see what else we can find out about the Vic? Don't you think

I'd be of more use here at the crime scene? Oh, no. We're just gonna knock on doors

and see what else we can stir up.

You know, boring police stuff.

Fine. But I was serious about the pony.

Come on, I'll show you the, uh, morgue... mobile.

Anything in the wallet?

Nope. Dry cleaning ticket, I.D., two credit cards.

Cash was missing, though.

That's a long way to go for a robbery.

You mean we have to ride with the body?

You can take my seat up front.

You sure?

Mm-hmm. I'm used to hanging out with stiffs.

Hi.

Unh-unh. You do not get to say hi to me.

I'm just doing my girl a favor.

Oh, you, too, huh?

Well, what did you expect?

Beckett spent the first three years of being a cop

trying to solve her mother's murder.

It took everything that she had to put it behind her.

You couldn't respect that? What was I supposed to do, not tell her what I'd found?

What you found? Oh, she didn't tell you, did she?

Three people were killed the same way her mother was

right about the same time.

One of 'em was a former law student of hers.

Another one, a documents clerk.

The third one, a lawyer for a nonprofit.

Wait, the m.E. At the time didn't make the connection?

If he did, he buried it.

Did you talk to him?

He died four years ago.

So you see why I had to tell her.

What did she say?

That we were done.

And then she just walked... (Metal crunches)

(Man) Come on! Go! Go! Go!

Don't move. Don't move.

Whoa!

Get the body!

Go!

Don't move!

Come on, move! Come on!

Is it just me, or was that really, really weird?

Well? He'll live.

What, no brain damage? If he has some, it happened way before tonight,

and it was probably self-inflicted. Ahh. Good times.

How's Lois Lane? Who, reporter chick?

We took her statement and we sent her home.

We got an a.P.B. On the sedan, c.S.U.S are combing the rooftop,

and we got unis looking for surveillance footage

of the crash site. You know what I don't get

is who would steal a dead body? Oh, plenty of people...

uh, organ harvesters, cadaver less med students,

satanists,

mad scientists looking to create their own monster.

Or the guys who killed him

might have left some evidence behind. Boring.

How about a spy

having swallowed a top-secret microchip

that the enemy forces murder him over

before the C.I.A. can get ahold of him?

As much as we all appreciate your insightful

and incredibly believable theories,

miss "cosmo" is gone,

so I believe you can go home now.

Home? No. No, no, no. This... this case just got good.

And... and I'm... I'm a witness.

All right, I'll let you work this one case with me

if you promise to leave me alone when it's over

and not to weasel your way back in.

Deal.

But fair warning, detective.

I will make you change your mind.

I won't. You will.

So what's the next step, victim's family?

Huh. I didn't think she'd take him back.

Mrs. Allen?

Yes.

It's about your husband.

He was just right here