Private Duty Nurses

Well, how are ya?

More gifts from Dewey.

- Let's go see the apartment. - Thank you.

Let's go, ladies.

Come on, hurry up.

You'll notice this is very fine wood, here.

Very nice steps, and all stuck on an old building.

Oh, excuse me.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm so clumsy every time.

Always just, uh-- let's go through this, here.

I want you all to know that, uh, there are absolutely

no spots in this room.

Now, isn't it nice?

Why don't you look around, and, uh, make yourselves at home?

Uh, you know, there was a--

there was a woman that used to live.

And absolutely swore-- I mean,

she absolutely swore that she could see the ocean from here.

Of course, we'll not argue with a lady.

You can walk to the bars from here.

We'll take it.

Wait a minute.

There's only, uh, two bedrooms.

How much?

Well, you see, this is a-- this is a really magic place.

I mean, I-- I don't know if you've ever even

been in a magic place.

Yeah, right.

How much?

Well, just double that in the summer.

Well, we do medical field work in the summer,

so we won't be here.

Well, it's the best I've seen yet, Spring.

- I think it's beautiful. - Yeah?

Yeah, well, listen, uh, don't make any hasty decisions, now.

Just, uh, talk amongst yourselves, and let me know later, OK?

Tell you what we'll do-- you all meet me tonight at, uh,

Schlumpfelder's.

We'll, uh-- blow on that and make it spin.

We'll meet tonight at, uh, Schlumpfelder's,

and then you can tell me what you want to do with it, OK?

I, uh, think I hear the call of the wild.

But I'll, uh-- I'll see you guys tonight, OK?

I just want you to remember, now, this is a magic place.

Right? Magic.

Patient Arnell, please return to your room.

Dr. Sutton is an extremely busy man,

but he's taking this time to welcome you.

Oh, one word of caution, though.

If at any time he asks you any question--

Ask if the rule about doctors dating student nurses

can be repealed.

That's one rule that's never bothered you before.

This way.

Through here.

As the chief administrator of this hospital,

allow me to extend an official welcome to you.

You're part of a pilot innovative nursing program

here, and your participation here

is beyond the scope of the usual nursing curriculum.

And I'm a fundamentalist when it comes

to hospital administration.

I'm quite satisfied with such established procedures

as nurses wearing dresses.

I have total confidence in Nurse Brandt when she tells me

that your training will begin in earnest tomorrow.

May I suggest that you get a good night's rest?

We like to see our nurses bright eyed

and, uh-- are there any questions?

Dr. Sutton, I--

Dr. Sutton, I-- I'd like a few moments of your time.

I have nothing further to say to you, doctor.

- Dammit, I demand-- - Nothing further!

OK, you guys.

Lynn and I will flip a coin, and, uh, the winner

gets her own bedroom.

Well, what about me?

Well, if you have your own bedroom, that's segregation.

Wait a second, Spring.

If she's not included, then you and I

are flipping to see who doesn't sleep with her,

and that's discrimination.

What'd I tell ya?

There was no simple solution.

Your papers, please?

Hi. Hi.

Listen, I don't want this to sound unreal.

And I really mean this, this is not a line,

but where your wildest fantasies leave off

is where I want to be begin.

OK? I'll catch you later.

OK.

Excuse me.

What's this?

Compliments of Dewey.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Let's hear a big South Bay welcome for Sky.

- Hi, new nurse. - Hi.

Remember me?

Yeah.

Uh, you, uh, want to dance?

Excuse me.

You know, it's like I was saying.

You see, we take this big bus, and we all get in the back,

we sing all the old songs-- you know, all out of tune.

It's-- it's a terrific time.

It's just like-- it's like taking this place,

you see, taking Schlumpfelder's to Tijuana.

Schlumpfelder's? Does that mean anything?

Yes.

It means horny turtle.

- Oh, come on. - In Bavarian.

It means--

Not here, Dewey.

Nobody cares now.

I was looking at you, it was very fake.

I mean, I could-- you probably thought in your head that I--

Oh, that was look number 119, but it wasn't.

- 219, or 119. - Dewey.

- No, really. - Dewey.

- What? - I wouldn't say that.

Oh, wow.

Is that a waterbed?

Yeah.

- Have you ever seen one? - No.

I've heard about 'em.

I tell ya--

Oh, my gosh.

It looks like it's alive. Look at that.

It is. It is alive.

- Right. - Oh, it is.

I'm telling you.

You think it's funny?

Yeah, I really do.

Yeah, well, come see how funny it is.

This is really stupid, though.

I was going to tell you this earlier,

but I decided that, uh, I wasn't going to tell you at all.

And then I decided that if we came back here, maybe

I would tell you.

And now I've decided definitely.

So tell me.

Between what you're taught where you're caught,

with an accent on the latter, you realize

it's like you always thought.

Only moments matter.

Between what you are and what you're not.

Dewey.

No.

I-- - Dewey.

You, uh, realize it's like you always thought, only moments

matter, I'll tell ya.

Cosmopolitan magazine, the guy has

trouble with the girl's zipper.

What do you do, you know?

Hey, let's have a look at you.

Ah, no, listen, you uh-- you have really--

I tell you what, I take it back.

I mean, you feel better than this does.

I mean, and that feels like skin.

I mean, you can imagine how you feel, you know?

Think of your pleasure, and I'll do the rest.

Whatever is your bidding.

Let me slip out of my work clothes.

Dewey?

- Dewey? - Shh.

Dewey, slow down. Dewey!

Phew.

I needed that.

Dewey, what are you doing?

Huh?

What are you doing?

Oh, I-- kinda--

Where are you going?

Nobody cares, Lynn.

Listen, uh-- don't you ever let anyone tell you that, uh--

That?

You know, with some-- some Vitamin E, or--

some kind of a thing they always say that,

uh, with a little lead in your pencil--