Boys Don't Cry

-Shorter here. -Shorter?

-Shorter. -That is short enough.

OK, superstar?

-Wow! -What's with the shirt?

That is the most frightenin' thing I've ever seen. Looks like a deformity.

I'll fix that.

Oh, God. Yeah...

That's better.

Now, if you was a guy, I might even wanna fuck you.

You mean if you was a guy you might even wanna fuck me.

So you're a boy.

Now what?

Come on.

No fuckin' way.

Yes fuckin' way.

-A joke is a joke. -Come on, don't be a pussy.

I'm no pussy. Let's go home.

-Someone's inside. -You've got a date?

I gotta go.

Come here!

Can I talk to you just for a minute?

You look like a fuckin' idiot in that hat.

I'll be back. I'll be back.

Teena...

Yeah. Athletic's nice.

But the thing is he's sweet. And good hair. That's important.

Um...

I'm Billy. Are... are you Nicole?

You don't seem like you're from around here.

Where do I seem like I'm from?

Someplace beautiful.

Hey.

I'm gonna stand right here until you're safe inside, OK?

OK.

You're not goin' anywhere!

Fucker!

Get back here, you fucker!

Brandon, come back!

You fuckin' dyke! You freak!

-You fucked my sister! -Open the fuckin' door, you fuckin' faggot!

-Open the fuckin' door! -Open this goddamn door!

-You fuckin' asshole! -Brothers!

-I'm gonna kick your fuckin' ass! -Alicia.

-Alicia? Who is Alicia? -You fuckin' dyke!

-Damn, there's a lot of 'em! -What the fuck have you done?

You and your fuckin' faggot cousin, too!

-Fuck! -What is the matter with you?

I don't know! I don't know what went wrong!

You are not a boy! That is what went wrong! You are not a boy!

Tell them that. They say I'm the best boyfriend they ever had.

Do you want your mother to lock you up again? Is that it?

Is that what you want?

No.

Then why don't you just admit that you're a dyke?

Because I'm not a dyke.

Fucker!

Holy fuck!

Fuck!

-What are you doin'? Get outta my fuckin' pants. -The money you owe me.

I want it back. All of it.

Jesus!

Fuck.

Careful with that. You didn't have to do that. Jeez!

You're not crashin' here anymore, Teena.

Get your stuff and go.

Bad night?

The worst.

So what's your name?

Candace.

I hate it, though. I'm thinkin' of changin' it.

Sometimes that helps.

I'm Brandon.

I'll pay if you get 'em.

-Sure. -Marlboros.

I'll be right back.

Check this out.

My friend's sittin' there.

So?

I said get off.

Excuse me.

Why don't you leave the lady alone? I don't want any trouble here.

You gotta be kiddin' me.

I didn't ask you what you wanted, you little fag.

You fucker! You motherfucker!

-I'm gonna kick your white hick ass! -Hold on, cowboy.

Can't I leave you alone for five minutes without you getting us into deeper shit?

You fuck!

I'm gonna get your ass!

Come on, stud. You got us into this.

Fucker!

Come on!

Oh, shit. Cops, man.

They suck.

You know, I would've had those guys if you wouldn't have stopped me.

Oh, my God! John, look.

Yeah. You're gonna have a shiner in the mornin'.

-I am? -Yeah.

Oh, shit!

-You got a light, man? -Oh, yeah, here.

Mm.

You have got the tiniest hands.

No. They're big.

Joe Louis had tiny hands.

But he didn't throw wild punches without defense.

If you're gonna get into fights over girls like Candace, you gotta learn a few moves.

Come on.

-Hey, pussy. -Fuck you, man!

-Tom, this is Brandon. -Hey.

John.

We'll give you a ride home, as soon as we find the goddamn car!

Sorry!

It's up here somewhere!

We're goin' to a party. You wanna come?

Candace, it's 70 miles away.

Well, I don't care. I mean, the night is young and... and I am a mess, so...

John...

Good.

Are we there yet?

It's just up ahead a little bit.

Unless you wanna stop at a roadhouse and get in another fight.

I don't know where the fuck I am.

Falls City?

What are you doin' down there?

I mean, that's not even on the map.

Oh, fuck!

Lonny, my life is a fuckin' nightmare.

I got this big court date next week and I don't got anywhere to stay.

If I don't make it, I'm fucked.

Can I just stay at your house?

-What about those doctors? -I went.

That shit's insane.

You gotta see shrinks, you gotta shoot hormones up your butt,

and, I mean, it costs a fuckin' fortune.

I'm gonna be, you know, an old man by the time I get that kinda money.

You gotta do somethin'.

Because you can't just keep runnin', because you're gonna end up in jail.

Forever.

You really think I can do it?

You're the butch.

Now come straight to my house.

No stoppin' in bars, no stealin'...

-And no more girls. -No more girls.

-No more girls. -Hey, handsome.

-Sleep all right? -Yeah.

Candace.

I remember.

-This is Cody. -Cody.

Wow! Beautiful.

You still broodin' over your fiancée?

What? Oh.

Yeah. It's a real long story.

Hey, hey.

God, you're really good with kids.

Yeah. I got one of my own.

Hey, Brandon! Good news.

-I got you a ride. -All right!

-He's goin' to Lincoln later tonight. -Oh, wow!

Cool.

-You suck! -Fuck you, man.

-Oh! Hey, champ! -Hey!

Tom only dates girls that got like, a little butt and a long crack,

like right up to the small of the back. You know what I mean?

That's how he picks 'em.

Tom likes 'em coyote ugly. You know coyote ugly?

I'm all over some booty!

Thank you.

Looks like you're ridin' home with Ted Bundy.

Shut up, John. He looks fine, right?

Yeah, just like family.

-Speakin' of. -Hey, where's Lana?

We were gonna go on, but she wandered off.

You got time to stick around, right?

These girls get their shit together, they're gonna do some karaoke.

Lana! Where you been?

-Come on, Lana. Let's go on already. -Forget it, Katie. Just forget it.

Lana, it was your idea!

Who are you?

Whooo!

Whoo! Yeah!

Whooo!

Shut the fuck up!

-Come on! -Whoo!