I Love Lucy

("I Love Lucy" theme song playing )

Breakfast will be ready in a few minutes, honey.

Okay.

Morning, Lucy. Hi.

Brought up your mail.

Thank you.

Nothing but bills.

Bills, bills, bills.

That's all I ever get anymore.

Hey, speaking of bills,

I hate to bring it up, but how about the rent?

Please, not before breakfast, Ethel.

Well, you know, I don't care, honey,

but last night Fred found out you'd only paid half the rent.

Couldn't you have kept it from him?

You just be happy he didn't find out

it was half of last month's rent.

Shh!

Oh, Ethel, my accounts are all messed up.

These are second and third notices

from every company in town.

They're threatening to shut off

everything but my oxygen supply.

: Lucy.

How many of these things do they send

before they really shut things off?

I don't know.

Hey, I got a friend that works at the power company.

You want me to call her up and find out how many they send?

Okay. Yeah.

Lucy.

What?

There's no dial tone.

They didn't.

I'm afraid they did.

They can't do that to me!

Why, I've been giving them

all my telephone business for years.

I thought you said breakfast was ready.

Uh... I was just thinking, dear,

how would you like some dry cereal and some nice cold milk?

Honey, my mouth was all set for waffles.

Oh, well, waffles are so fattening.

Dry cereal's better for you.

Better for me, too.

All right, anything,

just as long as I eat something.

Okay.

It's kind of dark in here.

What's the matter with this light?

Maybe it's a bad bulb?

All our lights are out.

Maybe the power is all off all over the neighborhood?

No. I know what happened.

Well, I meant to pay the light bill, Ricky.

I was going to say

it was probably Fred fooling around with the fuse box again.

Oh, me and my big mouth.

Lucy.

Lucy.

There's nobody in here but us deadbeats.

Lucy, you come out here.

Lucy!

Now, where do you think you're going?

Oh, hi, dear, I'm just going down to see Ethel.

I'll be back in a couple of years.

Lucy.

You come back here.

Yes, sir?

I want an explanation.

Well, sir, I've had trouble with my household budget before, sir,

but this is the worst it's been in 13 years, sir,

and uh...

Well, sir, uh, what with the taxes and inflation

and the high cost of living, sir, uh...

it's hard to know which way the economic pendulum will swing.

Uh... well, sir, I...

How long are you going to let me talk before you slug me?

You know what I'm going to do?

What?

I'm gonna get a business manager.

A business manager?

Yeah, a business manager.

A lot of people in show business have them.

I've been thinking about it for a long time.

Well, how does it work?

Well, he handles all the money and pays all the bills.

Oh, well, that'll be wonderful!

Well, it'll cost a little; I think it'll be worth it.

I'll call him right now.

Or is there any point in me trying to use the telephone?

Well, you can try it,

but I think you'd have more luck with two cans and a string.

Mr. Hickox, I hope you don't have too much trouble

figuring out my bookkeeping system.

You know, I'm not exactly a CPA.

I'm well aware of that, Mrs. Ricardo.

Well aware of that.

But I've been in this business for 20 years,

and I've never had any trouble

figuring out any books yet.

Oh.

Congratulations.

What for?

I've finally found a set of books I can't figure out.

Now, I tell you what we think you'd better do.

We'll, we'll wipe the slate clean

and start all over, all right?

Yes, sir, I'd like that. That's fine.

Now, here's your allowance for this month.

Oh, thank you.

Well, I wish it was this easy to get money out of Ricky.

That's what I'm here for, Mrs. Ricardo...

To make things easier for you and Mr. Ricardo.

Oh. Well, is this all there is to it?

You just give me the money and I spend it?

Well, something like that.

Oh, boy, how long has this been going on?

Lucy, we... Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, hi. I didn't know you had company.

Oh, that's all right.

Mr. Hickox, this is Fred and Ethel Mertz.

They own this building.

And this is Mr. Andrew Hickox, our new business manager.

Oh, how do you do?

How are you?

Well, are we just about all figured out, Mr. Hickox?

Well, not quite, Mrs. Ricardo.

As well as I can figure out from these books,

you owe a few back bills.

A few, yes.

I'd like to start you off even with everybody.

Oh, that would be wonderful.

Now, let me see.

The milk bill, $20.

I'll take care of that for you.

Thank you.

Oh.

Oh, out of here?

That's what the allowance is for... to pay the bills

Twenty?

How about the month and a half rent?

Uh, I'll take care of that for you.

Thank you.

Now, let me see, telephone, $11.25.

Gas and electric, $8.75... that's $20.

Twenty more.

And the cleaning and laundry, $15 even.

There we are. Now you can spend the rest any way you want.

The rest?

There's just $5 left.

Five dollars.

$5 to buy food and have my hair dyed... done?

Well, at least I have a choice.

I can be a thin redhead or a fat brunette.

We'll see you later, Lucy. Come on, Fred.

Oh, listen, Ethel,

may I speak to you in the kitchen privately?

What did you want?

Where's the money?

Old sticky fingers got it away from me.

Oh...

Well, I couldn't have loaned it to you anyway

as long as he knew I had it.

Well, Mr. Hickox is just gonna have to give me more money.

Oh, I'll bet you can't talk him into it.

I'll bet I can.

What makes you think so?

He's a man, isn't he?

I have a feeling your old wheedle, plead and cry routine

won't work on him.

Want to bet?

How much?

Five dollars.

Okay.

Mr. Hickox, I, uh...

I know you want to be fair about this

but, uh, after all, I'm no magician,

and the way things worked out,

$5 is all that I have left for the whole month.

I know.

That's $5 for everything,

not to mention miscellaneous.

Yes.

Uh... that comes to about $1.25 a week.

Right.

Uh, per day that is only...

17 and 3/4 cents.

17 and 3/4 cents.

Correct.

Well, obviously, a family of three

cannot live on that.

True.

So, you will just have to give me more money.

Not a chance.

Well, my goodness, it's our money!

I'm sorry, Mrs. Ricardo.

But that's what you hired me for.

Well, we didn't hire you

to keep our money when we need it.