Side Hustle

-Ha! You just fell into a classic Lex Checker trap.

-What? No I didn't. -Yeah.

I'm gonna take this piece and jump you here, here,

here, and here, and victory is mine.

-Guys, you have to watch this clip of Dude Calzone!

What are you doing?

No time for games. Didn't you hear Munchy?

We have to watch this clip of our favorite celebrity chef.

-I was about to win. -We'll never know.

Welcome back to "Dude's Foods,"

where I, Dude Calzone,

travel around the world stuffing my face for you.

Today, we're in Altoonisburg, Pennsylvania,

at the Super Coolery MicroMooery.

He's at the Mooery.

I've been there many times.

What's up, dude?

Can I try one of your famous milkshakes?

Okay. My name is Ty.

Thanks, dude. I'm Dude.

Yum, yum, give me some.

Whoa! Dude did his catchphrase.

Keep watching. It gets better.

I'm throwing my next Dude Food Festival

right here in Altoonisburg.

We're calling it The Al-Dude-Isburg Food Fest.

Bring you best recipes,

and then this dude will taste your food.

Per yoozh, the best dish gets this golden chef's hat

and 1,000 Dude Bucks,

which are redeemable at my restaurants in Vegas

and airports around the Northeast.

Can you believe it?

We should go down there and try to wave at him.

Or you could sign up and win.

I don't really have a recipe that could get a,

"Yum, yum, give me some!"

-You should enter your stew. -Yes. It's amazing.

I can't do that. That's a secret family recipe.

It was passed down from my father's father's father.

He was my Great Grand-Munchy, for whom I was named.

But it's so good.

And you only have to share the stew, not the recipe.

And you'd look great in a golden chef hat.

-Well, it is one of the few hat shapes that fits my hair.

Let's do it!

Or should we say, "Let's stew it."

No, we should not.

-Boop. -Boop.

Boop. All: Boop.

Tell me again why we aren't making your stew

in the kitchen, like normal people.

-Well, if you want normal stew, do it in a kitchen.

If you want Great Grand-Munchy Stew,

do it in nature's kitchen.

Okay, it's almost done.

-So when do we add all the stuff we've been chopping?

Oh, never.

-What? -This is a secret recipe,

so I asked you to chop all that stuff to distract you

so you couldn't see what I was doing.

We've been chopping for hours.

I cut myself multiple times.

-Well, I guess I can let you in on the secret ingredient--

If you make a pretzel promise to never tell anyone.

A pretzel promise?

Whoa, this is serious.

I pretzel promise.

I will now reveal the secret ingredient.

The secret ingredient is barbecue tongs?

No.

Both: Ooh!

You are right to ooh.

This is a lava pepper, the hottest pepper on Earth.

It only grows in active volcanoes.

-You want us to chop that up? -You want to die?

I do not.

If you were to chop it up and put it in,

one bite would destroy your mouth and melt your soul.

So what do you do with it?

You dip it in the stew for 2 Pennsylvanias.

One Pennsylvania. Two Pennsylvania.

Okay, have a taste.

Both: Yum, yum, give me some!

Glad you guys like it.

It's gotta simmer for about 2 hours,

which is 7,200 Pennsylvanias.

Let's start counting.

One Pennsylvania, two Pennsylvania,

three Pennsylvania,

four Pennsylvania, five Pennsylvania,

six Pennsylvania, seven Pennsylvania.

What are you looking at?

Is that skunk back?

I told you to stop feeding it.

I'm looking at stew.

Munch is cooking it out there

with Presley and Lex, and they won't let me near it

because of the "secret ingredients."

I didn't know Lex was into cooking.

Maybe I should learn to cook.

I hear what you're asking. The answer is yes.

The answer to what is yes?

I'm gonna teach my boy how to cook.

We'll start with Alan Casserole.

It's a casserole made by me, Alan.

Okay. Well, maybe if I learn,

I can impress Lex. I mean, how hard can it be?

Cooking is just science you can eat.

Cooking isn't science. It's an art.

That's why I sing while I cook.

Dad, cooking is a science,

and when it comes to science, I'm the best.

Did you just challenge me to a casserole-off?

If I did, I didn't mean to.

Well, too bad, because I don't back down

from a casserole challenge.

We'll both make one and see whose is tastier.

Hmm, doesn't seem fair,

because you're gonna lose so hard!

We'll see. Now, if you'll excuse me...

No.

Ooh, great job with the sign, guys.

My Great Grand-Munchy would approve,

and he hated pretty much everything.

-Ooh, our first customer. -I'm not a customer.

I'm Sue, Dude Calzone's sister and legal counsel.

You need to sign these.

-What are they? -Standard release forms.

Dude can't sample your food unless you sign it.

Shouldn't he read these before he signs?

And done.

I'll take that, and here he comes.

What's up, Al-Dude-Isburg?

It's him!

My dudes, what's the hey-hey?

Dude, we are such huge fans.

You changed the way I see waffles.

I have read all of your cookbooks.

And by that, I mean I looked at the pictures.

Thanks! Whoa! What you got cooking?

Because it is delighting my sniffer.

This is my Great Grand-Munchy's Stew.

Yum, yum, give me some!

Yes!

-You could be wearing this golden chef's hat, dude.

That's my dream, Dude. Both: Dude.

This is amazing.

Tell me the recipe.

Oh, I can't do that.

See, this recipe is a family secret.

You understand, right?

I understand.

But the contract you signed

gives Dude Enterprises Incorporated

ownership of your recipe

and the right to put it into Dude's next cookbook.

You can't put Great Grand-Munchy's Secret Stew

into Dude's cookbook!

"Secret" is in the name.

We can, and we'll rename it

"Dude's Stew."

Well, guess what.

We're not giving you that recipe, Sue.

Well, guess what.

If you don't give us the recipe, per the contract,

you have to pay us $1 million.

All: Dude.

This is horrible!

I can't give away my Great Grand-Munchy's secret recipe!

I mean, I should have read that contract

before I signed it, but it was for Dude Calzone!

If you can't trust him, who can you trust?

-Okay. I'm just gonna take this spoon away from you,

because you're kind of scaring us.

-It's gonna be okay. -You're right. I'm calm now.

Good.

Now we can get upset.

I am so mad at Dude Calzone.

I am so mad at us.

We're the ones who told you to enter the stew.

Hey! I see Dude Calzone inside.

Let's go make him cry.

-Oh. -Hey, Dude.

You've got a lot of explaining to do.

-Yeah, Dude. -Such a stupid name.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Dude senses bad vibes.

-I didn't know the contract I signed gave you ownership

of my secret family recipe. -Yeah.

What give you the right to rip people off like this?

You should be ashamed of yourself, Dude.

I am.

-I wanted to make him cry, but now that we're here,

it's really awkward.

I'm sorry!

I don't mean to hurt people and steal their recipes.

-Then why are you doing it? -I'm not.