Capitaine Marleau

WITH THE KIND PARTICIPATION OF

COURTHOUSE

A businessman who receives threats? So what.

We're not going to give him the office pool either!

Anyway, I'm warning you,

if there's no stiff, I don't care.

This is a sensitive matter.

The businessman, Mr Cappa, is of great interest to the justice system.

Cappa?

Not Simon Cappa?

A legitimate businessman, yes. A mafioso.

Stop rambling, Marleau.

I'm not saying anything you don't already know about Cappa.

Cappa is embezzlement of public funds. Cappa is... what else...

Tax fraud, subsidy fraud.

Recycling of toxic waste. Money laundering...

In short, Cappa is the Don Corleone of corruption.

We're in a gray area. On the surface, his business is perfectly legal.

Like always. Why does he interest you?

There are plenty of white-collar thugs

in the ministries. - We cornered him,

so he agreed to collaborate. - I know the type well.

He'll testify to get a reduced sentence.

So he hands everybody to you,

and you give him a suspended sentence.

- The deal is 5 years. - 5 years is a lot.

Cappa's friends must be glad,

they must be singing "Cappa's done."

And who are the 'friends' who are threatening him?

Russian mobsters or Swiss bankers?

You have to tell me. People who will use permanent methods.

If I mess up, it might fuck you up.

If I get sent on it's a disaster, Marleau.

He gives me information in drips and drabs. He does it to irritate me.

Poor Mr Judge. Does this mean goodbye to promotion to the Ministry of Justice?

If I squeeze it out of him it will be a very, very, major coup,

believe me, Captain. - Well that's good,

maybe we'll see your face on TV.

I'm not joking.

I need Cappa alive, at all costs.

You will need to exercise the greatest discretion!

No one should know that you're investigating.

Discretion is my department. They call me 'color coordinated.'

Cappa is at the Clos du Roi Hotel with his family,

to prepare for the wedding of one of his daughters.

Is the Clos du Roi fancy?

No problem, I'll blend right in.

Ha. You sure?

As sure as a Jesuit boarding school for young adolescents.

Marleau! I'm counting on you.

Discretion. I'm an ex-chameleon.

You're still here?

Dad and Mom are arguing again. We don't get along there.

What are you reading?

'Crime and Punishment.' It's so good, grandpa.

Basically, the hero kills his landlady, he escapes by a miracle,

but he punishes himself.

I had a hard time understanding it, it's too psychological for me.

Get your nose out.

Don't spend all day locked away. - Yes yes.

YOU'RE GONNA DIE

How are you, Albertine? I should do some directing.

Damn, it's heavy.

I'm looking forward to retirement!

So... Hey! Room service!

So...

Like so...

There we go.

RISE AND SHINE!

Shit! Broken dishes-

No no no! We can't have this,

it's impossible! Indisputable!

I can't have this, this is unacceptable! - I didn't do it on purpose!

Mr Judge, in Martinique, when I was 5 years old,

I saw a cyclone destroy... I mean destroy... my father's hotel.

But this? No, it's too much.

'It's too much.' Serving breakfast in the dark,

it's incitement to harassment!

It's called 'a gentle awakening.' - That's what I'm saying! Mr Judge?

It's either this or the captain comes in uniform.

No not that! No no! Not possible.

No, that won't work. My uniform's dirty.

If you find Simon Cappa at the bottom of the pool, it'll really leave a mark.

What do you want me to say? - Whad'you want me to say?

"Pa ni pwoblem"! - "Pa ni pwoblem".* * CREOLE, 'NO PROBLEM, ' 'OK, FINE.'

"Pa ni pwoblem." * CREOLE, 'NO PROBLEM, ' 'OK, FINE.'

Look at her...

a beautiful, brand-new painting!

Take this to your office, it'll fund your retirement for a year. Let's go, hup!

Get to work, lazy!

- It's Véronique, right? - Yes, Véronique is yours to do

so you don't have to. Véro' Boulet, like 'ball & chain.'

This is Reception.

- What do you mean, "I'm stuck"? - Mrs Petrovna, I am sincerely sorry,

but the situation is that the Ministry of Foreign Affairs canceled

your plane ticket. - My trip?

Yes... - It's a catastrophe, Mr. Mansour!

I understand. Greg, give Mrs Petrovna some champagne.

We'll take care of you in the meantime. All right?

Who's she? - The wife of a Russian oligarch.

She can't return to Moscow. - Why? Is she LGBTQI+?

We'll take care of everything.

I'm sure this will all be worked out very quickly.

Here's the bar.

The bar.

So.

Nice bar.

Stairs.

And that way, the restaurant. - Restaurant.

Is it true that a customer found his bathtub full of blood?

Mr. Mansour was in a state... But it was red dye.

No! If my cousin hears about this...

she's a 'Columbo' fan. Will you show me the bathtub?

Frankly I can't understand.

When I started Mr Cappa's bath the water was completely normal.

And there was no message on the mirror.

You know what?

Every time they want fake blood,

they pack it, solid, into the tap.

Then later, you open the taps and-clack!

It dissolves. You understand? Look.

And there you go! Heh heh!

Then, the mirror, well...

You couldn't see the message.

It appeared with the steam.

Are you sure your cousin's the "Columbo" fan?

Not my cousin, my girl.

What the hell did you do Véro'? You put your fingers everywhere.

Not at all, I didn't touch you!

And look, with your shoes on... you're going to mess up everything.

I don't care. I'm working.

Give me your...

'Joan of Arc' remake?

How ya doin'? Captain Marleau.

I hate cops.

'I hate' idiots. Occupational hazard.

Gauthier is worried for nothing.

I have a security service,

I'm not going to worry because someone put a little dye in my bathtub.

Okay, done with your movie?

Your name's not Frank Capra,

it's Simon Cappa, "the necktie."

Can we talk informally?

I won't allow you.

Well!

Let's get down to business!

One of your colleagues wants to shut up

your big mouth definitely? - Captain, I'm just a simple businessman.

My agreement with Gauthier concerns matters of competition

between respectable companies. Nothing more.

No more, no less.

What if your daughter wants to put on a remake of "The Bride Wore Black,"

you'll be in your litttle coffin,

you'll no longer be there to see her!

Go fuck yourself.

In your youth, did you really kill a cop during a robbery?

Don't listen to gossip, Captain.

I'm from a farm near here, my parents were farmers,

they only taught me the values of honesty and hard work.

Work, family, homeland. 'General, here we come!'* * PROB. REF. MARSHAL PETAIN

Anyway, Captain, can you imagine me killing a cop?

Well...

I wouldn't want to judge on appearances, but still, a little.

Are you Françoise?

I'm Véro, the new girl. - They're hiring?

There's "turnover" here.

You want some? - Can we eat the scraps?

Well yeah. If someone says something to you, say it was me.

All right...

How do we make the rooms?

No need to have gone to the Polytechnic.

You just want to make it look clean.

"Well," do you know about yesterday?

They always find something to complain about. We're not going to get into hot water.

None of that in our house.

Earlier, I freaked out.

I thought I lost my... "badge."

So what? I lost mine the other day. No one died.

Did you get it back?

Well... no. Anyone could have picked it up.

Shit, a call.

Who is it? It's the boss, I have to go.

If he gives you more rooms, come see me,

I'll fix it for you. - Thanks, you're a dear.

You have to help each other when you work together.

Run before he yells at you!

Yes, Mr Judge-of-finished-work. Yeah, well I do what I can.

The other victim, he won't cooperate. I'm not going to force him.

Yeah? Joker.

Francoise?

Françoise Dulac?

Danièle... how is she?

She's well? - Not too much, no. She had a stroke.

- So what was the Legion* like? - We were never bored. * THE FOREIGN LEGION

One day in Guyana, we were doing a commando training course,

we were in water up to our waists.

A real quagmire. It smelled like rotting animals.

And you know what I saw in front of me? An alligator.

And not a little one, no! A humongous thing.

Damn.