The Road to El Dorado

Today, we sail to conquer the new world...

for Spain, for glory, for gold!

Viva Cortes!

Altivo, eyes forward.

Seven! All right!

Yes!

Partner!

One more roll!

Uh, guys, you're broke!

You got nothin' to bet with!

Oh, yeah? I got this!

A map!

- A map? - A map!

A map of the wonders of the new world.

Wow!

Let's have a look.

Tulio!

Excuse us for one moment, please.

Tulio, look!

El Dorado, the city of gold.

This could be our destiny, our fate.

Miguel, if I believed in fate,

I wouldn't be playing with loaded dice.

Not with the face.

No, no, no.

No! No! No!

I said one more roll!

My map against your cash.

Hmm?

All right, peewee. You're on!

Not with those!

This time we use my dice.

Uh...

Got a problem with that?

No.

I'm going to kill you.

Come on, baby. Papa needs that crappy map.

Stop that!

Show me seven!

Seven!

All right!

Seven!

Yes!

There it is!

Well, nice doing business with you.

Oh!

I knew it!

Your dice are loaded!

What? You gave me loaded dice?

He gave me loaded dice!

Guard, arrest him!

You dare to impugn my honor?

He was the one who was cheating!

Arrest him!

He tricked these sailors and took their money!

Oh, now I'm the thief? Yes.

Take a look in the mirror, pal!

Oh, you better give them that money back, or I'll...

En garde!

En garde, yourself.

I will give you the honor of a quick and painless death.

But not with that. Ha! I prefer to fight fairly. Aha!

Well, any last words?

I will cut you to ribbons, fool!

Such mediocrity.

Let your sword do the talking.

I will. It will be loquacious to a fault!

Ha! Take that!

You mincing, fencing twit.

Ah, you fight like my sister.

I've fought your sister. That's a compliment.

Blaggard! Heathen!

Not the face. Not the face.

Ladies and gentlemen, we've decided it's a draw.

Thank you all for coming. You've been great. See you soon.

Adiós!

Congratulations. You're very good. No. That was good.

Very...

We should have kept our swords, I think.

Y... Yeah.

Yeah, I've got a plan.

What is it? Uh, well... Uh, you...

pet him, and... I'll... Yeah.

Run!

Uh, well, thanks a lot!

Whoa!

There they are!

Bye. Thank you!

I'll bet we can make that.

There they are!

Two pesetas says we can't.

You're on!

You lose!

- Oh! - Whoa! What's happening here?

We're both in barrels. That's the extent of my knowledge.

Okay, Miguel, we gotta move fast.

On three, we jump out and head for the dock.

Good. Good. Excellent.

One, two, three...

Th... Three!

Three! Oh!

Three!

Uh, you ready? Ah, okay. One more. Let's go.

One, two, three!

Excuse us. Okay. We're outta here.

Who ordered the, uh, pickles?

Cortes!

My crew was as carefully chosen as the disciples of Christ.

And I will not tolerate stowaways.

You will be flogged.

And when we put into Cuba to resupply,

God willing, you will be flogged some more,

and then enslaved on the sugar plantations for the rest of your miserable lives.

To the brig.

All right! Cuba!

Ah!

Hey, Altivo! Ah-ta-ta, not for you!

You're on half rations. Orders from Cortes.

So, uh, how's the... How's the escape plan coming?

All right. All right. Wait!

I'm getting something. Yeah.

Okay!

Here's the plan.

In the dead of night, you and I grab some provisions... Mm-hm.

Hijack one of those longboats,

and then we row back to Spain like there's no mañana!

Back to Spain, yeah? Yeah.

In a rowboat. You got it!

Great. Sensational. And that's your plan, is it?

That's pretty much it.

Well, I like it.

So, how do we get on deck?

Hmm.

In the dead of night, you and I grab some provisions,

hijack one of those longboats... Uh, great.

Okay, what's your idea, smart guy?

Wh... What do you mean? Don't ask me that!

You're the one with the plans.

Wait, I... I have an idea.

Uh, come on. Give me... Give me a boost.

Hey, Altivo.

Altivo.

You want a nice apple? Come and get it.

You have to do a trick for me first.

All you have to do is find a pry bar.

A long piece of iron with a hooky thing at the end. Yeah?

Miguel, you're talking to a horse!

That's it, Altivo, find the pry bar.

Yes, find the pry bar.

He can't understand "pry bar."

He's a dumb horse. There's no way...

Well... it's not a pry bar.

Oh, Altivo. Oh, thank you, old boy.

Listen, if we can ever return the favor...

For Pete's sake, Miguel, he's a ruthless warhorse, not a poodle.

Come on, before he licks you to death.

Adiós.

Shh, shh. Quiet, please. Shh.

What's the matter with him? Oh, he wants his apple.

Well, give it to him before he wakes up the whole ship!

- Fetch! - Huh?

Huh?

Altivo!

Miguel!

Altivo, I'm coming! Miguel!

Just hang on! I'm right here, old boy!

Have you lost your mind?

Help is coming!

Holy ship!

Whoa!

Loop the rope under the horse!

Yes!

On the count of three, pull back on the rope!

- What? - Three!

Pull!

Tulio! Hey, it worked!

Did any of the supplies make it?

Well, uh, yes and no.

Oh, great!

Tulio. Look on the positive side. At least things can't get...

Excuse me. Were you going to say "worse"?

No. No. No? You're sure?

Absolutely not. I've revised the whole thing. Okay, because...

Yeah, we're at least in a rowboat.

We're in a rowboat, exactly.

You miss nothing.

Ah!

Tulio, did you ever imagine it would end like this?

The horse is a surprise.

Any... regrets?

Besides dying? Yeah.

I never... had enough... gold.

My regret, besides dying, is...

our greatest adventure is over before it began,

and no one will even remember us.

Well, if it's any consolation, Miguel,

you... made my life...

an adventure.

And if it's any consolation, Tulio,