Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee

This.

Is a 1976 Lamborghini Countach LP400 in Tahiti Blue with a tan interior.

It has a 370 horsepower, 4-liter, 4-cam, 12-cylinder.

The fuel comes through six twin-throat webers.

That is good.

And it could top out at 180 miles per hour, which in 1976 worked.

I love the short, sharp front end to it.

It's just like a little knife blade through the air.

The idea of this car, I think, is you pull up in it and you are taking over the scene.

Not unlike my guest today, the amazingly versatile and visually spectacular Jim Carrey.

Jim is an unforgettably gifted comedian and comic actor.

Can you imagine anybody else even trying to do Ace Ventura, The Mask, or Dumb and Dumber?

Forget it.

Don't even make the movies.

Yeah?

Jimmy, it's Jerry.

Jerry?

What time is it?

Remember we talked about going out for a cup of coffee?

Oh my god, is that today?

Is this today?

Of course today is today.

Today's always today.

Yeah, yeah, no, no, no, I'm good.

I sleep in my clothes.

I'll be right out.

I'm Jerry Seinfeld, and this is Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee.

Doesn't the door work?

Oh yeah, it works.

Is that Don Knots?

Did you ever think about the Barney Fife sniff?

Oh yeah.

Getting ready.

That was the whole character, wasn't it?

Getting ready to tell you who he is.

This is beautiful.

1976 Lamborghini Countach.

They called it that because that was what people exclaimed.

When you blow past them in traffic.

Countach!

Whoo, baby!

Oh yeah, baby.

Whoo-hoo!

It does feel like a Bond movie, doesn't it?

It's fantastic.

Barney Fife was ego with nothing to back it up, and I always think that's the funniest kind of character.

That's the funniest, yes.

And yet somehow that confidence and that arrogance wins in the end.

Who else for you is in a special category?

I love David Letterman.

He's big in my life.

It's so funny because he's such a crank, too.

I think it was the second, maybe third time I was on.

I hadn't been back there for quite a while.

Maybe it had been two and a half years or something like that.

During the commercial, he leaned over to me after we had just had the most

incredibly wonderful time together on camera.

He leaned over to me and he said, So why haven't you been here in three years?

Is it me?

Is it me?

And then we're back.

And I was like, yeah!

And he was just back to me and Dave.

Is it me?

Is it me?

Well, who else could it be?

Exactly, Dave.

It's not Biff.

Did they have air conditioning in 76?

They do.

It's on, but it's kind of like an Alaskan husky breathing on you.

He's knocking on the fourth wall there.

Amazing, it really is real.

Hey, how you doing, man?

You wanna go?

You wanna go?

Blow your doors up in this thing.

I had a McLaren for a little while.

You did?

Yeah.

It was too fast for me.

That thing was like, whoa, and you realize, what am I eating?

And it's your testicles.

I'm driving a Tesla.

I love the Tesla.

See, I like burning stuff.

We love breathing what you're burning, baby.

I'm fairly non-localized these days.

So non-localized means... It doesn't matter where you are.

I'm everywhere.

You're everywhere.

Jerry, you are full of testosterone.

I've been on a cleanse for 21 days.

Really?

Yeah.

This is my 21st day of a cleanse.

It's incredible.

Did you see me climb that gate?

You should have seen me on the other side, though.

I was like...

You were like a dog trying to get out of a pool.

That'll be you on the 22nd day of the cleanse right there.

That's where I'm headed.

And I'm about to go up north to Marin County and do a silent retreat for five

days, so I won't be speaking during the film.

I don't speak.

You are perfect for that.

You're one of the few guys who is not handicapped at all by not speaking.

I like to remember people's old bits.

I remember your Henry Fonda was one of my favorite bits.

One golden pond.

Bottom line, huh?

You're up.

You're up.

Bottom line, man.

Bottom line, man.

I want to see my teeth.

Have you noticed that orange juice now comes in a variety of pulp?

Like subtle pulp, middle pulp.

You can't take pulp.

I need more pulp.

You know about the relative and the absolute, right?

The relative is the things you relate to.

And the absolute is the truth of consciousness being everything.

So relating that to the three different levels of pulp.

No pulp, some pulp.

There is no pulp.

Or extra pulp.

There is no pulp, no matter how much pulp they tell you there is.

Pulp is an illusion.

There are sensations.

What are those little bits in the juice that I taste?

I feel them.

We're in a Marina.

This is very refreshing.

This is fantastic.

I don't know how to get out of this, but...

Oh, there it is.

It slices.

It dices.

It juliennes fries.

Anybody got some celery or some stuff they need chopped?

Wait, we should be backing up while that sound is happening.

How you doing, officer?

Good, how are you doing?

I'm excellent, man.

Pueblos Rancheros?

That sounds good.

Okay, I'll have that.

Sure, kill yourself.

That's the killer cafe.

This is how I keep life interesting, Jerry.

I bring my own sweetener.

Look, if you do this, you go up here, and then you see, like, how far you can do.

This could be fantastic.

Just estimating now.

Oh, I got it.

First time.

Three.

Oh, my God.

Five.

Boom.

Thank you.

I used to watch you at the Improv when I was starting out.

You made me laugh so hard because I had just started learning to scuba dive.

You did that bit about scuba diving and how the whole point of the sport is not to die.

There's a fish.

There's a rock.

Who cares?

Don't die.

I don't want to die.

Don't let me die.

Tell me about your stand-ups.

You know, first I did impressions.

A lot of people start out with impressions, but I was obsessed with impressions.

And, you know, when I started out, I was a Canadian.

Was?