Dogs in Space

So, in conclusion, I would just like to say,

please, please, please, please, please, please, please! Oh, come on!

Let humans live here.

Now, let me get this straight.

These humans destroy their own planet.

Not on purpose!

And sent a bunch of dogs into space

to find them a new one.

Genetically enhanced dogs!

They experimented on you? Barbaric!

Hey, they were successful. Look! Thumbs.

Hmm. And why would we want to share with them?

Well, uh, humans won't want to "share" share.

They're kind of used to being in charge.

But you can be their best friends, just like dogs.

Sure, you might have to get neutered, too, but...

I think we'll pass.

Okay. I think I know how to persuade you. Whoa!

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry!

Captain, I just think it would've been

really nice to have one mission...

...not end in a shoot-out, you know?

I agree, Stella. It's not my fault

these guys don't know the fine art of negotiating.

What happened this time?

I was gonna give them my blaster to sweeten the deal.

It's customized with a grappling hook and a glow in the dark lightning bolt.

Who wouldn't want this? Ow! Hot!

Maybe let someone else do the negotiating next time?

But I love doing the talking.

Well, that's exactly the problem.

Garbage to Chonies. Any luck with that door?

Still working on it, Captain. It's highly encrypted.

Just hurry up, please!

Chonies! Look out!

Ha. Technology one, alien zero... Whoa!

- Whoa! - I'll save you!

Ugh! Dumb advanced alien tech!

Does anyone else know how to hack this?

Being smart's for idiots!

We're free! Whoa!

Stella to M-Bark. Loaf,

we're gonna need a new escape route.

Go left? Wait, my left.

Stage left. I don't know! Keep going left.

Oh, wait, that's just a circle.

You're running in a circle. I'm sorry!

Just run away from the aliens!

Never mind.

Hey. Where's Ed?

Oh! Gold.

This stuff's worth its weight in gold.

Ed! Now is not the time to loot!

Now is the perfect time to loot, everyone's distracted...

Okay. Nomi, you flank them from the left and I'll... Nomi?

- Pew, pew, pew, pew! - You saved my life, kid.

- Here, I want you to have this. - Aww, you shouldn't...

Hey, this is mine!

And now, it's yours. Forever.

Chonies! Now!

- Whoa! -

- -

Get to the Pluto. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine.

- You heard the Captain. To the ship! - No! Wait.

Wait! I might not be fine!

Worry about me! Worry about me!

Well, he also told us to worry about him, I...

- Trust me, he'll be fine. -

My loot!

My loot!

I just want to remind you guys that I would've happily given you this blaster.

Woo!

Well, if you'll excuse...

Okay, okay. Before you kill me,

you gotta admit that move I just did was awesome.

- - Hup-up-up! What's it worth to you?

- Ed! - Ed!

Okay, fine. But you owe me one.

Okay. So, how do we feel about the planet?

Suitable for humans, right?

What?

We could at least put it down as a maybe.

Ugh, fine!

Come on, Garbage! Attaboy!

Chelsea, it's me, Garbage.

Not that you'd forget or anything. That's unlikely.

Anyway, um, I'm afraid the Creepicheep planet didn't work out,

but don't worry. The next planet's going to be the one. I know it.

- - Nomi to Captain.

Just seen something through the windshield we need you to look at.

- Over. -

I'll fetch you and all humanity an awesome new home,

and you're going to see just how right you were to put your faith in me.

I hope these messages are reaching you, but...

- - Nomi to Captain.

Question. Is it technically a windshield if we're in space?

- There isn't any wind. Over. -

But I guess they're not because you'd have replied.

- - Nomi to Captain.

We're having an argument about the windshield thing, and I...

- Of course it's a windshield... - But it shields us from space.

- Yeah, we really need your input. Over. - Ed!

Did I... Did I press the button? Oh. Over.

Garbage to crew.

Just hold on a minute for the love of belly rubs!

Sorry.

Anyway, uh, I love you and I miss you,

and I hope you miss me.

Don't get a new dog!

Okay. Bye.

Okay, I've thought about it and it's definitely a space shield...

Wow.

It looks... perfect.

It might be. The scan suggests a climate similar to Earth,

but it isn't showing up on the M-Bark's mapping systems, which is...

...kind of spooky.

It's a ghost planet.

- There's no such thing as ghosts. - That's what they want you to think.

Wait, so this place hasn't been investigated?

It's just here?

Ed hasn't been investigated and he's just here.

What? Uh, investigated? Me?

What crimes? I'm a saint!

Similar to Earth.

This is it. This has gotta be it!

- Nomi, set a course for this planet... -

Darn it! Chonies, please tell me we have enough fuel to get there!

Yes, Captain. We have enough fuel to get there.

- Terrific. Nomi, set a course... - But that's not true.

- Why did you lie to me, Chonies? - You just told me to!

Argh! Fine! Mark it on the map.

We're coming back for this planet.

- - Watch it!

My ship!

It's not my fault we're out of fuel!

How was your mission, Garbage? Another embarrassing failure?

No, it wasn't an embarrassing failure, Captain Happy.

- Yeah, it was just a regular failure. - Exactly.

I wasn't embarrassed at all.

Besides, every mission you've done is technically a failure, too.

You haven't found a new Earth.

Actually, the indigenous species gave us some leads

on potentially suitable planets in the quadrant,

and also gift bags, so, that feels successful to me.

Captain, you're alive!

Uh, I mean, congratulations on not dying.

The Council wants to see you.

- Don't worry. -

It won't be a bad meeting, for me.

Come along, former Captain Gar... Oh. Silly me.

- Getting ahead of myself. -

Random security pat-down!

Gotta check you for alien parasites.