California Suite

For heaven's sake, Wendy, look for an airport!

- Will you look for the airport? - Oh, don't make such a fuss.

Just put it down on a mountain.

What do you mean, just put it down?

I'm lucky I can keep it up. I told you, I never flew before.

Don't shout at me. I'm a first-class passenger.

You're a first-class lunatic!

It's all over, Wendy. Our relationship has a quarter of a tank to go.

Yes, but you do love me, don't you, Harold?

I know this is an awkward time to bring it up,

but I must know for our future.

- Ohh! Aah! - Harold, darling, do answer me.

Oh! Oh!

You can stop pretending to be asleep, Sidney. It's over.

I was listening to Beethoven's ninth.

Somewhere on this plane, there's a wonderful orchestra.

The cameraman must do luggage commercials.

All you could see were the bags under my eyes.

We'll be landing in Los Angeles in five minutes, miss Barrie.

I suppose we must.

You were terrific! I loved it!

Oh, thank you. That's sweet.

What?

Oh. I hope you win the Oscar!

It's bizarre.

Eight years with the national theatre,

two Pinter plays, nine Shakespeare, three Shaw,

and I finally get nominated for a nauseating little comedy.

That's why they call it Hollywood.

Oh!

Gorgeous color. The smog.

I wonder if they sell it in bottles.

It would make a wonderful present for the folks back home.

- Thank you. - I'm sorry, Mr. Barrie.

- The "no smoking" sign's on. - Oh, sorry.

I thought it was meant for the people down there.

Oh, Christ. The royal treatment.

And if I lose, we go home in a station wagon.

I can get used to this life very easily, darling.

Promise me you'll get nominated every year.

We have a magnificent suite back at the hotel for you.

How nice.

I'll call you in half an hour.

Fine. Thank you.

Well, that's just fine. Unless you're making a pot of tea,

I think we're in big trouble.

I didn't build the car. I just drove it.

Did you look at the Gauge like I told you to?

I looked at the Gauge more than I looked at the road.

I ran off the road. I did not run off the Gauge.

But if you looked at the Gauge, it wouldn't have overheated.

You mean lookin' at the Gauge real good stops it from overheatin'?

No, but you've got to speak up.

You've got to say, "hey, the Gauge says we're overheating."

This is not the kind of news that you keep to yourself.

You know, I hate rent-a-cars. Why don't we just leave it here?

It's cooling off, see? I told you. All we needed to do was give it a chance.

All right, close the hood. Let's go. I'll drive.

Oh, no! Oh, god.

Say he didn't slam the hood.

What's the matter with the doors?

Didn't the man say not to slam the hood down?

Didn't the man say the doors sometimes lock

when you slam the hood down?

Did the man say I would burn my hand?

It's locked, all right. Who's got the keys?

The car's got the keys!

Why didn't you take the keys?

I only went from my seat to the hood.

I thought it would be safe. You on his side. Stand over there.

What fool closed the windows?

That fool closed the windows.

Even with my eyes on the Gauge,

I saw that fool close the windows.

The air-conditioning doesn't work with open windows.

Well, now the car doesn't work with closed windows,

does it, fool?

Smile, everybody! We're in Los Angeles!

I'm not paying for this window.

Bettina, you're keeping the books.

Put the window in his column.

We're drivin', ain't we?

We're not bein' towed, are we?

Deduct the cost of being towed from my column.

Oh, when are you two gonna stop bickering and start vacationing?

It's been like this ever since we left Chicago.

I have to go to the bathroom. Can we pull off

and find a gas station?

- Ok, honey. - "Ok, honey"?

What do you mean, "ok, honey"?

This is no time for "ok, honey." We're on a freeway.

When your wife wanted tacos, I heard enough "ok, honeys."

Now, how am I on that side, honey?

You're fine. Hurry up.

He's not fine if he has to hurry up!

Watch what you're doing.

Now! Now! Go now!

Hold it!

Whiplash!

Now we all got whiplash, ok, honey?

Good luck tonight, miss Barrie.

- Uh, would you? - Oh.

Everyone says you're going to win.

Listen, I'm pleased just to be nominated.

Can I have your picture?

Oh, just by yourself.

Herb, how are you? Charlie, what do you say?

Billy boy. How's the new script coming?

I found all the words in the dictionary.

I just have to put 'em together.

I mean, we'll never be able to afford this.

I mean, the prices out here are ridiculous!

- Yeah, sure. - Mrs. Hannah Warren, please.

- I asked them. - Bill Warren.

Yes?

Where are you?

306. Why don't you come up?

- Come in. - One double scotch, one tea with lemon.

- Six dollars and ninety-five cents. - Yes, ma'am.

Would it be possible to just rent a couple of drinks?

Ma'am?

Uh, would you put that on the coffee table, please?

Hello? Oh, yes, put him on.

Bob? Oh, thank god, a civilized voice.

How are you?

No, awful. I can't wait to get out of here.

It's like paradise with a lobotomy.

How's Washington?

Rain. Oh, god. How wonderful.

No, no, nothing's settled yet. He's on his way up.

Bob, I don't want to call in a lawyer until I see how it goes.

When have you known me to be intimidated?

That doesn't count.

Yes, as a matter of fact, I remember it in detail.

Bob, can you save the erotic conversation

until it can do us both some good?

Yes. Yes, I will. I'll call you as soon as he leaves.

I do too. Bye.

Looks like another beautiful day, huh?

For a change.

Hello, Hannah.

You were supposed to knock.

I was going to keep you waiting in the hall.

You screwed up my big moment.

You still have trouble saying a simple "hello."

Oh, I am sorry.

You always did get a thrill out of the little things in life.

Hello, bill.

Hello, Hannah.

How are you?

At this moment, I'm completely nonplussed.

What the hell have you done to yourself?

You've turned into a young boy again.

- It's good to see you. - I mean it.

You look like the sweetest, young, 14-year-old boy.

You're not spending your summers at camp, are you?

Just three weeks in July.

Shouldn't we kiss or shake hands or something?

Let's save it for when you leave.

I made a 1:30 reservation for lunch. Is that all right?

Just, uh, give me a minute.

When you haven't seen your ex-husband in nine years,

your eyes have to... adjust.

I love your California clothes.

They're Bloomingdales of New York.

It's the best place for California clothes.

My god, you look so...

I don't know. What is the word I'm looking for?

Happy.

Casual.

You never know out here.

Are you dressed up now, or is that sporty?

I didn't think a tie was necessary for a reunion.

Is that what this is?

When you walked in like that,

I thought we were gonna play tennis.

You certainly look fit enough for it.

"Fit." You think I look fit?

You awful shit. I look gorgeous.

Yes, you do, Hannah.

Your tan, of course, is perfect.

I always wondered how you got the back of your ears so dark.

You put the top of your car down

and drive away from the sun.

Look, if we're gonna banter like this,

give me a little time.

After nine years, I'm a little rusty.

Oh, you'll pick it right up again.

It's like French.

You see, that's what I'd miss

if I ever left New York... The bantering.

San Francisco's only an hour away.

We go up there and banter in emergencies.

I never liked San Francisco. I was always afraid

I'd fall out of bed and roll down one of those hills.

Not you, Hannah. You roll up hills.

Oh, good. You're bantering.

The flight out wasn't a total loss.

I detect a bit of snip in the air.

Does that mean your conversation with Jenny wasn't all that successful?