Father Brown

What we gonna do, Len? - I dunno, Daryl.

I haven't had much time to figure it out yet, have you?

Well, they're not having my room.

Well, where am I supposed to put them, in the...?

Cellar!

Right, princess, out! Your carriage awaits.

WOMAN YELLS - Get 'ere now. Round here. Move it!

The nearest living soul is ten miles away, so don't waste your breath screaming.

Do as you're told and you won't get hurt.

Oh, no.

I never actually said whodunnit.

No, you just blurted out their name in the interval.

It was a lucky guess.

Rather a good one though, don't you think?

I do not think. The ending was no surprise at all.

This is intolerable.

I say. Yes, madam?

All the First Class compartments are full. - Yes, he can see that with his own eyes.

Well, I'm sure there's something he could do?

INDISTINCT CHATTER

If you hadn't insisted on going round to the stage door.

And if you hadn't ruined the ending.

Getting my programme signed was a very small consolation.

And in any case...

it won't kill you to slum it for once in your life.

Do my eyes deceive me?

Felicia Montague!

Bianca Norman! - What on Earth are you doing in here?

We were late for the train and First Class was full.

Salvation is here.

My Pullman's on the back. I never travel without it.

And your companion?

I am perfectly happy here.

Do you remember my daughter, Barbara?

Oh, yes, of course. - Don't worry.

She hardly makes much effort to stand out.

Come along, Mrs M.

My son, Tony. Husband, Piers.

I think we met at Le Teatro Venezia in '46.

Alas, you confuse me with one of my predecessors.

Chm!

That was Rudolf, my number four.

Tony, fix us a drink

and we'll have some music.

I hope you like opera.

Adore it.

I'm very partial to a little bit of Gilbert and Sullivan.

My "Stabat Mater" by Rossini...

DRAMATIC OPERA MUSIC PLAYS - ...at La Scala in 1950.

Gin and it? - Oh, divine.

Admit it, Mrs M. This is more like it.

This is going to be a very long evening.

OPERATIC SINGING IN LATIN

OPERA MUSIC PLAYS

No, thank you.

TRAIN SCREECHES TO A HALT

Why are we stopping?

We can't be here already.

We've only just passed through Hambleston.

There's a red signal.

I hope we won't be here for long.

Oh!

You're adopting again?

When the papers are finalised.

I wanted to give another child what I gave Barbara and Tony.

You both have been very fortunate.

I miss the sound of children laughing.

Barbara's as quiet as a mouse now.

She used to be such a happy little thing.

OPERA MUSIC PLAYS

TRAIN WHISTLES

Ah! Here we go!

LOUD CLANK

INDISTINCT SHOUTS

FELICIA SCREAMS

The jewels! Where are the jewels?

OPERA MUSIC PLAYS - GUNSHOTS AND SCREAMS

GUNSHOT AND SCREAMS

Oi!

Oh, we'd stopped for quite some time

and then there was a judder and a jolt

and then the rest of the train pulled away without us

and that's when it happened.

Keep your heads down! Two men burst in

and they demanded, “The jewels! Where are the jewels?“

They're here. Just take them!

So they grabbed the jewels and then shot out the lights.

Someone lit a match but it went straight out and then bang!

BANG - Another shot.

Then the lights came back on and that's when we saw what had transpired.

FELICIA SCREAMS

Who knew Dame Bianca was travelling with her jewels?

Apart from 50,000 readers of "Stars of Stage and Screen"

where she helpfully gave full details of her itinerary.

And what did they want with my aunt and Mrs M?

Army officers on the train heard the gunfire

and pulled the communication cord.

The robbers panicked

grabbed the nearest persons to use as human shields

while they made their getaway.

MEN SHOUT

Go, go, go, go!

GUNSHOTS

I'll get them back safe and sound. You have my word.

God knows they must be terrified.

Sir.

Another fine mess you've got me into!

Me? That's rich coming from you.

I was perfectly happy in Second Class!

Well, I was perfectly happy to leave straight after the performance.

Shut your squawking!

If only you weren't such an autograph hunter!

If only you weren't too hoity toity to mix with ordinary, common, decent folk.

"Hoity

Rest assured that all available man power

is being deployed in the hunt for the Countess and Mrs McCarthy.

Inspector Mallory, any clues who the robbers might be?

We're narrowing the search, and confident that it's just a matter of time

before they are apprehended

when, rest assured, they will feel the full weight of the law.

Inspector Mallory! Inspector Mallory!

Has a reward been offered? Inspector?

Can you see anything?

It looks like a farm.

I meant anything useful.

Well, there isn't a bus stop and a telephone box next to it

if that's what you're hoping for.

Watch out!

There's someone coming.

What is that?

Porridge.

I hardly think so.

You'll eat it or else.

Or else what?

We're hardly any use to you dead.

We'll die of starvation if this is what they're going to feed us.

Some toast and marmalade will suffice.

I've got jam.

KNOCK AT DOOR

Erm, Father Brown and Miss Windermere, sir.

Show them in.

I've been expecting you. Please.

You're here to enquire about my progress.

Getaway vehicle -

over 100 Fordson vans registered in the area

so they'll take some time to follow up. - Well--

Knowledge of the signals suggests insider knowledge

so the railway are providing names of sacked or disgruntled employees.

Ditto Dame Bianca's staff.

We're checking for ex-convicts in the locale

with convictions for robbery.

Twenty mile road blocks and an all-ports alert.

So, if you think there's anything I've missed...?

You've been very thorough, Inspector.

A rare compliment from you, Padre.

Now, I know you're dying to interfere

but on this occasion, all that's required is good old fashioned police work.

If you want to help

maybe you could offer spiritual solace to the family

which has the advantage of keeping them out of my hair.

Now, if you'll excuse me.

Thank you A word, please, Sergeant.

Shut the door behind you.

I've got press and rubberneckers descending in droves.

I want no repetition of this.

Crime scene under 24-hour guard. No one enters.

And you might want to write this down - keep the padre out of my sight.

Any funny business and you deal with it under pain of death.

Yours, that is.

Sir.

Your turn. They're doing my head in.

No, no, no!

No one'd get hurt, they said. It was an accident.

You were only supposed to shoot the lights out!

What? It weren't me.

Well, it weren't me. I never fired me gun.

Two shots is all I fired. At the lights. I think I can count to two.

And I can count to none.

I wouldn't lay bets on it!

Are you calling me a liar? - I'm calling you an idiot.

Rude!

Excuse me!

There is of course a simple way of resolving this.

It's hard to believe she's gone.

She was always so much larger than life.

She is still larger than life.

Her legacy will live on.

Her voice recorded for eternity.

Poor Lucy.

To lose not one mother but two.

Will you be going ahead with the adoption?

No. Good God!

My name wasn't on the papers.

She considered fathers extraneous to requirement.

Her husbands never lasted long enough to play the part.

And what will you do, Miss Norman?

I hadn't thought about it.

I think I'm rather too old to reinvent myself.

Tony's not.

You could go back to the boards.