Marvel's Guardians of the Galaxy

Listen up, people. My dad's out there,

somewhere on the loose with five Centurion helmets.

It's only a matter of time before he pops up and makes his move.

So, how do we stop him?

We shall destroy J'Son of Spartax!

Okay, you get points for consistency, Drax,

but none of our weapons can stand up to those helmets.

I am Groot. You read my mind, bud.

Only one gearhead in the galaxy can engineer that kind of boom...

Ja Kyee Lrurt.

The greatest weapons designer in the history of the known universe?

You guys got no culture whatsoever!

Trading knives!

Collectible targets!

And my "piece de resistance,"

Ja Kyee's patented Universal Hex Bolt!

Hey, cool! Ah-ah-ah! Don't touch, Quill.

In fact, don't even look at it no more, okay?

Just go, go, go!

So, like I was saying, if anyone has a weapon

that can stop J'Son and the Centurion helmets, it's Jackie.

Rocket may be right. Thanos considered Ja Kyee's work

dangerous enough to keep tabs on her, but she went into hiding years ago.

Not "hiding," Gamora, retirement.

Legend has it she created a doomsday device so powerful

that Nova Corps paid her a fortune not to build it.

Eh, she found a quiet little planet and lives in seclusion.

Okay, new plan: Get Jackie to make us a sweet little anti-helmet weapon.

Eh, Jackie hates Spartax,

so she'll definitely wanna help us stick it to J'Son.

But how will we locate her? Finding her's easy.

Getting past her totally fearsome planet-wide security system?

Not so much.

And you know this from experience?

What? I just wanted her autograph.

You know, maybe a selfie.

And her approval.

Okay, this is it, people. Battle stations!

We're passing through the sensor net...

now!

Huh. That's weird.

Last time, I had about 12 anti-matter missiles

screaming down my tail.

So much for those impenetrable defenses.

Hey! Show some respect.

She must've upgraded to something even more powerful.

And invisible.

Or something happened to her.

Okay, this does not look like a planet I'd want to retire to.

It looks like a place of rampant destruction. I like it.

I am Groot.

What? I wanna show off my new remote control to Jackie.

Assuming she's alive.

Trespassers will be terminated on sight.

Guys, this is one of Jackie's classic designs!

A J.L. Sentry!

Just look at the engineering!

The balance between armor and firepower!

Oh, this thing is a work of art!

Uh, Rocket, your "work of art" is about to paint the floor with us!

Trespassers will be terminated on sight.

Look at the rate of fire!

It's totally gonna terminate us!

Terminate this!

Drax! You know how lucky you are to get pounded

by an actual J.L. Sentry?

Ooh-hoo! I bet it's gonna shoot missiles!

I am Groot!

I am Groot! Called it!

I'll never wash this suit again.

Why start now?

Everyone back to the Milano!

Quick! Quick!

Somebody get a picture of me with the...

Let me handle this.

Oh, hey, guys.

Yeah, you know, we're looking for the Chitauri Adventure Water Park.

But it doesn't look like this is it,

so we'll just be on...

You trespassers will be tried and found guilty.

The penalty is termination.

- Uh, spoiler alert... - Whoa!

Is Jackie's security system the best or what?

This doesn't feel right.

Why would Jackie retire to a war zone?

The greatest weapons designer in the galaxy?

Why wouldn't she?

Well, if we can just talk to her,

I'm sure we can sort this whole thing out with the robots.

Doubt it. I'm their prisoner too.

Ja... Ja... Ja...

Ja Kyee Lrurt.

Call me Jackie. And you are?

The Guardians of the Galaxy.

Meet Gamora, Drax, and Groot.

I'm Peter Quill, also known as Star-Lord.

"Star-Lord"? You're Spartaxian!

Wou... Would you sign...

hex bolt?

Sign my... Please!

And this is your stalk... Your number one fan Rocket.

Why are you here?

We came for your help to fight my father, J'Son of Spartax.

'Course, that was when we expected to find you retired to a technological paradise,

not a prisoner on a war-torn wasteland.

What happened here?

The tragedy of unintended consequences.

After a lifetime designing weapons of war,

I wanted to build something to help people.

I started by adding an adaptive learning capability to my robots.

But their command programming was too basic.

They only learned to become more war-like.

My guardian robots, the Sentries,

turned against my combat model, the Ultroids.

I had to do something before their war engulfed this planet

and spread beyond it.

I had no choice but to build my doomsday device...

An E.M.P. detonator powerful enough to destroy every robot on the planet.

But before I could use it, I was captured. And here we are.

So, these robots of yours, do they, like,

you know, turn into anything else?

You know, like trucks or planes and stuff?

Oh, what a dumb idea. Don't embarrass me in front of Jackie!

Shapeshifting robots. Intriguing.

Ah. The applications are endless.

I was just gonna say the same thing myself.

Almighty Engineer Lrurt,

Betrayer of your own creations,

I implore you for the final time

to build us a weapon to defeat the Ultroid menace.

And I say for the final time that I will build no more weapons.

Then I must resort to other methods of persuasion.

Methods far less pleasant for biologicals.

Let her go, ya miserable, yet magnificent, hunks of junk!

This is an outrage! A travesty of an injustice against the universe!

We gotta save her! Guys?

Uh, I am Groot?

Okay. But remember, rescuing Jackie was my idea.

Almighty Engineer and traitor Lrurt,

this device will overload the pain structures in your brain.

You will cooperate or perish.

Ah, there are too many of them.

How 'bout I even the odds?

Don't damage 'em too bad! They lose their collective value!

Gamora, behind you!

I am Groot!

Eat magma, metal-head!

Okay, not my best battle cry.

Hmm. Not many warriors have the skill to defeat my J.L. Sentries.

And your ship is quite impressive.

Well, I've been working on it my whole life.

The Milano's one of a kind.

Everyone in the Milano! Rocket, get Jackie out of these restraints!

Wait a minute, Quill! I don't know if I can get these things open!

Figure it out on the way!

Quill, what are you...

Oh, your designs are so elegant.

The use of superconducting magnets and quantum-vacuum solenoids... genius!

And the Universal Hex Bolts to integrate components?

Well... Focus!

Remove the hex bolt at the primary linkage.

Oh. Yeah. Duh.

I didn't do tha-a-a-at!

Hang on, Jackie! I got you!

Pretty good rescue, huh?

Well, we're alive. Now run!

We lost the tractor beam!

Swing around. We'll take care of the Sentries.

I am Groot!

Now we just need to hold this position until...

Supreme Builder Ja Kyee Lrurt.

Are those Ultroids?

You are under the protection of the Ultroid Alliance.

And our prisoner for your crimes against robot-kind.

Oh, this day can't get any better.

You mean it can't get any worse.

Next time you have a death wish, leave me out of it.

Jackie, Rocket, fall back now!