Royal Pains

Bam.

Is there anything you don't do well at the beach?

Not in front of your brother.

Nah, he's in CFO mode.

He can't process anything

but high-limit credit cards right now.

Is that... hold...

yeah, we take AmEx, Visa, Mastercard, and Discovery, Henry.

And make sure you mention our affinity program too.

I'm on it. I rest my case.

So, do you play?

Beach volleyball? I'm okay.

Just okay?

I know, you like to be challenged.

Good, okay. Okay, bye.

Where'd our potential clients go?

They're coming back with friends.

Oh, there was nobody.

What're you guys talking about over here?

Besides sex on the beach?

We were discussing Harper's mad volleyball skills.

Really? You have mad volleyball skills, huh?

It's the official sport at my family reunion.

And this year's reunion is this weekend.

So I should try to get some practice in.

Cool.

What are the unofficial sports?

We like our bocce ball beer fest.

And our parcheesi pizza contest gets downright ugly

when grandma's competitive streak comes out.

Oh, my God, you should totally bring Hank.

Wait, wait, wait, Ev...

Dude, you're the parcheesiest person I've ever met.

My family would love to meet you.

Really?

Well, I do know my way around a parcheesi board.

You also know your way around a grandma.

You can total... that sounds really weird.

- Both: Yeah. - Okeydokey.

So, you're in?

Yeah. I'm in.

Awesome. I'll call home and add you to the guest list.

Perfect.

- I'm so sorry. - About what?

I just threw you under the bus, man.

I... I threw you on the bus to Kubelickville.

I... want to be on the bus to Kubelickville.

Yeah, meeting her family doesn't freak me out at all.

You really like this girl, huh?

I do.

Oh, my God.

I have the perfect luggage for your trip.

Are you ready for this?

I am so ready for it.

- Here you go. - Okay.

- Oh. - It's your new Hank bag.

To replace the other one. The one that you left...

Wherever the hell it is you went last week.

You like it?

Well, I won't have to introduce myself.

I know.

It's fine for now.

Hankmed. How can I make you feel better today?

Yes.

Here. Try this.

Oh, hey, thanks a lot.

I hope the official water boy isn't around.

I don't want to step on any toes.

Hans, let's take five.

- I'm Cameron Krissy. - Hank.

Nice to meet you, Ha...

Yeah, you too.

- Here you go, Cam. - Oh, thanks.

Look, I'm a doctor,

and that sounds pretty bad.

You may need something stronger than water.

Well, I'll take something later.

Can't stop now.

Spoken like a true pro.

Oh, I'm not a pro.

I coach at a junior college in Arizona.

You're trying to go pro.

And just a few qualifying points away from doing it.

Which is why you're here.

That and the chance to work with actual pros.

Like Jessica Slater and Aubrey Powers.

And you?

I'm just here for the potential injuries.

The tournament doc had to drop out at the last second.

I almost had to do the same thing.

My partner quit volleyball a few weeks ago.

I had to scramble to find a replacement for her.

Is the replacement any good?

She's fine. For now.

Huh. Well, I can't help you with that,

but call if the cough doesn't improve.

Thanks.

Are you nervous?

A little bit.

I've never done a photo shoot like this.

Well, you will be great.

And you'll have all that support around you.

And the photographers,

the publicists, the magazine staff.

And, of course, Georgette.

Who?

The supermodel I'm posing with.

I'll be leaning on her for support.

Among other things.

Slater back to serve.

Right here. Got it.

- Get it, get it! - Right here.

Wow, wow!

So, these ladies mean business.

Hank, all ladies mean business.

I'll keep that in mind

when I take your grandma down in parcheesi.

Try talking that smack to her face.

No, I'm really looking forward to it.

Me too.

High line by Powers.

Great play out of the net!

Nice! Oh, nice!

Great set. Hey, great set.

Aubrey, Aubrey.

What's wrong?

- Aah. - Hey, can we get a medic?

Yeah, coming in.

Excuse me.

Take it easy.

Take it easy. Relax, relax.

Hey. Hey, Aubrey.

It's okay.

What happened?

My legs just gave out, like jell-o.

Rapid breathing, no wheezing.

Hank, is there anything I can do?

Yes. Call 911.

Okay.

- Aubrey, do you have asthma? - No.

How 'bout any allergies?

Just a lot of pain.

- Where is the pain? - Everywhere.

Royal Pains 4x14 - Sand Legs Original air date September 19, 2012

Aunt Aubrey, are you okay?

Yes, sweetie, but can you get your mom for me?

Okay.

Shortness of breath, dehydration, and pain.

This could be sickle-cell anemia.

I need to get a line going fast.

Does your family have a history of sickle-cell?

Not that I know of.

I'm not getting anything. Try the other arm.

You may have the trait without the full-blown disease.

During heavy activity,

it can cause what's called "exertional sickling."

This never happened to me before.

The first episode can occur anytime.

Her veins are collapsed from dehydration.

Ambulance will be here in five.

What else can I do?

I need that official's platform.

Okay.

Without fluid or resuscitation,

she could go into rhabdomyolisis before the ambulance gets here.

What's the platform for?

If we can invert her, gravity will distend the neck vein

so I can get a line into the jugular.

Come here, guys. Bring it over here.

Right up to her feet. That's it.

Line it up with her.

Okay, good.

All right, everybody grab a limb.

And let's lift. One, two, three, lift.

And feet up.

Feet-first, that's it.

Slide her up all the way.

Okay, perfect.

Harper, I need you to prep saline and a thin strip of tape.

Let me see. Yeah, there it is.

Just cleaning your neck.

Now, you're gonna feel a slight pinch.

Okay, line, please.

Thank you.

Secure. Tape.

Thank you.

Okay, excellent.

The ambulance should be here soon.

The paramedics will give you oxygen

and something for the pain.

Okay, we got it.

Aubrey, you're gonna be okay.

She's gonna be okay.

Thanks for your help.

Looking for me having a drink?