Bob Hearts Abishola

Previously on Bob Hearts Abishola...So-so you're divorced?

No.But you're not together anymore?

No, we are not.

Well, what if you meet someone?

Isn't that a problem?

It is not a problem yet.

I wasn't completely honestwith you yesterday.

Really?

Yes.

When we first met at the hospital,

I did like you a little bit.

I knew it.

I know you and I don'tmake any sense.

We're like ice creamfor breakfast.

Doesn't seemlike a good idea.

But if it makes you happy,why not?

Here, I broughtyour breakfast.

Ice cream.

Enjoy. I'm going to check on your mother.

Hey.

Were you followed?

Don't be ridiculous. Of course not.

Well, what did you tell Abishola?

That I was meeting an old friend from college.

If she asks,his name is Barry Lewis

and he lives in Toledo with his wife and two kids.

Billy's eight and Sarah's five and, boy, are they a handful.

Why do you tell such elaborate lies?

Well, what did you tell Olu? Nothing.

I went into the bathroom with a newspaper,

then climbed down the fire escape.

We have 45 minutes before she gets suspicious.

It's weird, I've done this before but I'm still nervous.

Don't be. You have a secret weapon.

What's that?

Me, Tunde.

Don't worry, I will get youthe best engagement ring

at a price that will makethe jeweler weep.

I'm not really too worried about price.

If you're going to say stupid things,

go wait in the van.

["Ifanla" by Sola Akingbola playing]

Good afternoon.

I'm David. How can I help you?

I see your store is empty of customers.

So perhaps we'll be helping you, David.

Oh, okay.

I'm looking for an engagementring and it doesn't have to be

too ornate, you know?Simple, classy,

beautiful-- just likethe woman I hope to marry.

Well, congratulations, sir.

Well, thanks, but let'swait until she says yes.

Are we done with the chitchat?

I have to walk out of the bathroom in 22 minutes.

How about that oneright there?

Oh, good choice.

This one is a beauty.

1.5 carat, princess cut,

VVS1 clarity diamond

on an 18-carat band.

It's really nice.

I mean, it's okay.

And let those be the last words you speak.

How much?

$11,995.

: Oh! Did you hear that?

Store with no customers?

We'll give you eight.Oh...

I-I couldn't possibly do that.

I mean, I wish I could but...

Then what is your best number?

I guess...

I could knock it down to 11-five.

Nice meeting you, David.

Let's go, Bob.Thanks.

Hang on.

Yes?

How much were you looking to spend?

$8,000 for the ring you are holding.

Give me a minute.

I'll have to call the owner.

He's not calling anyone.

This is just a part of the game.

This isn't my first rodeo, Tunde.

Then act like it, cowboy.

'Cause you are about to get thrown from the bull.

Okay, I can get you down

to nine-five.

Ah, David, I really wanted you to make this sale

so you could afford to move from your parents' home.

How did you know that?

Because I have eyes, David.

I have eyes.

Come on. W-Wait.

Yes?

What you got there,Bobby Socks?

Oh, nothing.

Come on.

What did you put in your pocket?

Was that a cookie?

No, it's not a cookie.

Remember when you were a kid and I used to find

cookie crumbs in your pocket?

I don't do that anymore.

All right then.If it's a flask,

give Mama a hit.

It's the middle of the day.

That's why you use a flask.

You want to see?

Fine. Here.

Oh, my-- Oh.

That's beautiful.

I did good?

You did really good.

Figure I better make it officialbefore she wises up.

Oh, good thinking.

I was joking.What do you want me to say,

sweetie? She's out of your league, you know this.

I do.

Still, I'm so happy for you.

Thanks.

It'll be fun-- all of us under one roof.

"Us"?

Well, you know how the Nigerians are with family.

We'll have Olu, Tunde,

Dele... probably a couple of cousins

they stashed away somewhere.

You just got to make it

clear to them I'm keeping the downstairs bedroom.

Y-You're not going back to your house?

Someday.

You know, when you're feeling better.

I'll tell them about the bedroom.

The pepper soup is wonderful.

Thank you.

So, where were you this afternoon?

What are you talking about? I was here.

Tunde!

What?

After you left the bathroom,

I went in to change the towels.

So?So...

it did not smell the way it does

after you have been there for 45 minutes.

You mean like something died?

No one asked you.

Were you betting money on those skinny dogs again?

No.

And they are called greyhounds.

Named after the bus.

Tunde, tell me the truth.

Where were you?

We cannot discuss this in front of the boy.

Go away, boy.

Tell me.

Okay, but you must promise not to tell Abishola.

Of course.

Good news!

I have a secret.

But you have to promise not to tell anyone.

Well, I have to tell someone.

Bob is going to ask me to marry him.

What?!Eh?

How do you know?

My uncle helped him buy a ring.

Oh, so he got a good price.

Her uncle can get a discount at the 99 Cents Store.

This means we all have to go to Nigeria.

For the wedding?

For the approval. Bob has to

present himself to Abishola's family.

If they don't like him,

they can forbid the marriage.

So are you telling me if Bob rubs

some second cousin the wrong way, you can't marry him?

No, I still can.

But she can never return to Nigeria.

Or Texas.Huh?

I have family there.

Poor sock man.

He tries to give you a diamond ring

and suddenly he's proposing to a whole village.

It's not the whole village.

At most, it would be 200 people.

And that is the easy part.

I also have to ask my husband for a divorce.

That's right. I always forget you're still married.

So get a divorce, big deal.

It's not like America. You cannot just order one

at the drive-through like Kentucky nuggets.

If her husband doesn't agree to the divorce,

she will have to bribe many officials and judges.

Oh, so they're corrupt.

No. No.

I'm going to make

such a beautiful bridesmaid.

Why don't you wait for me to ask you?

You're going to ask me. Don't be stupid.

You look beautiful today.

Thank you, Bob.