The Big Bang Theory

All right, we're about to go live.

Everyone on their a-game!

Good energy!

Hello.

I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper.

And I'm Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler.

And welcome to a special retrospective,

where we will take a look back at the history

of fun with flags on an episode we're calling...

Both: “fun with flags: Behind the flags:

A retrospective.”

"Mind you, when we say “behind the flags”"

we don't literally mean these flags.

That's just where we have dinner.

Now, I'm sure many of you are wondering

how fun with flags began.

So let's hear from some people who were there

at the very start.

H-Howard. Flashback sounds.

Could have played that on my harp.

Just roll the clip.

Sheldon: So tell us in your own words

about that magical moment when fun with flags was born.

I honestly don't remember.

Sheldon: Sure you do.

I was telling you both the story

about how Haiti and Lichtenstein

discovered they had the same flag.

It was at the summer Olympics of 1936,

and two plucky nations...

Oh, wait. I remember.

Oh, and do you remember what you said?

Yes. “Please find someone who cares”".

And that's exactly what I did.

I found a lot of someones.

Almost 200.

Many of them on purpose.

And now we're going to turn it over to you, the viewers,

to call in and share

your favorite fun with flags moments.

And-and don't get discouraged if the phone lines are jammed.

Just keep trying.

Oh, thank god!

Welcome to fun with flags!

Bert: Hey, Sheldon.

Hey, Amy. It's Bert.

Hello, Bert.

What is your flag-related comment or query?

I have a girlfriend.

And what does that have to do with flags?

Nothing. I just wanted everyone to know I have a girlfriend.

Bert, you're tying up the line.

My apologies to all of you

trying to call in with legitimate flag comments.

Ooh, ooh. All right.

W-we have our next caller.

Bert: Her name's Rebecca.

Should we get lunch or you want to eat at the zoo?

“oh, Howie, I don't need food

as long as I can look at my phone”.

I don't like when you imitate me.

You want to hear my Stuart?

“it's been a while since I've gone on a date.

You mind if we watch the monkeys doing it?”

I said that to you in confidence.

This is supposed to be our family fun day.

What's so important on your phone?

I'm on the day care's web site.

Stop looking at that. The day care's great.

It's on campus.

My office is two minutes away.

There's nothing to worry about.

What if she likes the people who work there more than us?

She already likes soap bubbles more than us.

When I go back to work,

we're gonna leave her with these people.

We don't know anything about them.

They're highly-trained educators with background checks.

They're even required to be current on all vaccinations.

You leave her with me, and I'm not any of those things.

Where's Howard?

He took the day off.

Oh, let's take advantage of his absence

and tell the kinds of jokes only physicists get.

I'll go first.

Okay, here. Uh, Heisenberg is pulled over by a police officer.

And the policeman says,

“did you know you were going 85 miles per hour?”

and Heisenberg says,

“darn it, now I don't know where I am.”

so Howard back Monday? Koothrappali: Yeah.

Hey, guys.

Oh, hello. Hey. Want to join us?

But he's a geologist, and I have more physics jokes.

Oh, quick! Sit!

So, Sheldon says you have a new girlfriend.

Yeah, which he rudely announced on my flag show.

People were so upset about it

no one else called in the rest of the night.

Sorry. I couldn't help myself.

I guess I just love love.

Well, I'm very happy for you.

Hey, we're all having dinner tonight.

Why don't the two of you join us?

Yeah, wh... hold on.

We don't know anything about this woman.

What do you want to know?

Is she a geologist?

No. Oh, great. See you at 7:00.

How about after this we go see the exotic bird show?

Not a good idea.

My hair is a coveted nesting material.

Learning anything?

Well, sloth babies cling to their mothers' bodies

for almost a year.

I'm going back to work after only four months,

so I've learned I hate myself, I hate sloths,

and I hate you for bringing me here.

Me I get, but that sloth is pretty cute.

It's not just the sloth.

Polar bears nurse their cubs for almost eight months.

The orangutan mother builds her baby a new home every night.

And what do I do? I choose my career over my child!

Told you we should have gone to Legoland.

Can't believe Bert has a girlfriend and I don't.

I thought you were taking a break from women

to focus on your career.

Oh, grow up.

Don't you have any friends he can date?

Hey, I already set up Howard and Bernadette.

It's your turn to ruin some poor girl's life.

Oh, hey, guys. Come in.

Thanks.

Everyone,

this is Rebecca. Hi.

Amy/Leonard/penny: Hey.

She's younger and far more attractive than he is.

They're copying you two.

What are you making?

Chicken.

Birds mess with my hair, I come back hard.

Finally get Halley down?

Yeah, eventually.

She's still not happy about taking a bottle, though.

Look, if you're not ready to go back to work,

we'll figure something out.

No, I'll be fine.

It might be good for her.

Howard's mother was around him all the time,

and he's a world-class mama's boy.

I mean, wh-why would you say that?

Go ahead, have a tantrum; That'll prove me wrong.

It would be nice to raise Halley to be a little more independent

than you were.

I guess.

It wasn't until college that I learned

you can put a thermometer in your mouth.

On that charming note, dinner is served.

So is this your first time dating a scientist?

'Cause I'm thinking of starting a support group.

Actually, I'm not new to this.

I was engaged to a Scientologist.

Bert, Rebecca.

I'd like to apologize for my insensitive comment earlier.

Don't worry about it. It's fine.

See? It was fine.

I didn't need a time-out.

It wasn't a time-out. Let's get some food.

You made me sit on the stairs and think about what I did.

Get your food!

So how did you two meet?

Oh, it's such a cute story.

We met on a dating web site.

Is that it?

Oh, sorry. The end.

That's nice.

I haven't had much success meeting people online.

I didn't either, until I revamped my profile.

What'd you do, delete your photo?

Go. Fine.

And don't you slam that door.

Aw, man.

Did I say something wrong?

No, it's always him.

So, Bert, you were telling us how you updated your profile?

Right. I wasn't getting any responses, and then I added,

“recent $625,000 MacArthur Grant winner”,

and five minutes later,

I met my soul mate.

I was wrong. You can come back in.

So, Rebecca, how did you become a personal trainer?

I came to Los Angeles to be an actress,

and things didn't really work out.

I'd say she's copying you again, but...

I'm getting tired of sitting in the hall.

I'd love a personal trainer.

I haven't seen my abs since they opened a shake shack