Only Murders in the Building

Uh, I was wondering if you by any chance--

Still had the offer?

Maybe a fresh start would be good.

What about taking our finger to a lab?

Mm-hmm.

I mean, if it isn't Jay Pflug's, whose is it?

There's a secret room in the building where your husband

ran an illegal poker game.

I'm more interested in what you're up to, Charles.

- -You hooked up with a suspect!

I can't find my phone. I might have left it in the minivan.

Or Sofia stole it.

Oliver, get your car, we're gonna intercept her.

-Wait, you just missed our turn! -No, no, this is a shortcut.

-How do you know that? -I grew up here.

What is she doing in Flatbush?

I don't know, but maybe you could shop for apartments while we're here.

All these invoices are made out to "Tommy."

Tommy the Tongue is not a person, it's a company.

And that company is worth a shit-ton of money,

except that money was withdrawn, all of it,

-first thing this damn morning. -By who?

Who would want the money that bad to kill those dudes?

Hide!

Their wives.

What makes a home?

Is it just four walls sheltering the accumulation of a whole life?

Or is it the safe house for all your memories?

- -

The good...

...and the bad.

After you leave childhood behind,

the first home you make for yourself

becomes so much a part of your identity

that on sleepless nights, it forces you to wonder...

who are you without your home?

And what would you do if it were gone?

Oh.

It's all gone.

Everything, everything.

-Everything. -I know, baby.

-I know, my love. -

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

No, I was on set when the call came in.

That's why I went straight to the airport.

They said it was a short in my electric tea kettle.

Oh.

-You know... -Look, look, I...

I want you to know one thing. Not everything is gone.

I know. I have you, you have me.

That's really-- That's all that matters, I...

-Yeah. -Wow, you really sold that.

No, but it's my dad's dog tags from Omaha Beach.

You know? And then I only had a few little pictures of Dicky--

of the baby before I had to give him up,

and all my Playbills, and...

...just, you know, all my stuff. It's my stuff.

Okay, come here.

Over here.

- -So now, you have new stuff!

- -Our stuff, our wedding haul.

-Oh, my God. -

It's just not, you know, the stuff,

it's just 47 years I was in that apartment.

I just feel like part of me is gone.

Well, now, part of you now looks like a cabbage tureen.

- -

Oliver, Only Murders in the Building, season five:

-Widows' Peak. -How good is that?

Because the widows have piqued our suspicion.

Different spelling, but we think it plays.

Yeah.

-Hi. - Mm.

-Loretta, I'm so sorry. - Oh.

You're a sweetie.

But you know, I didn't fly all this way for doom and gloom.

- - Let's talk murder. Hi.

- -Sofia Caccimelio,

seen handing a plaid bag to Lester's widow

after a mysterious bank account...

How do I make accounting sexy?

-Can I? -Yeah.

Um...

Two scorned women, black widows, slain husbands.

Ooh.

-Swiss accounts. -Oh!

Who said anything about Swiss accounts?

Yeah, you want sexy? She's serving sexy.

- -Okay, we now have two new suspects

that we can actually podcast about.

Although, Charles made out with Sofia,

who made off with his phone.

Oh! She returned the phone.

She didn't call up, so she doesn't wanna see me again.

Thank goodness!

She's a murderous mob wife.

We hit it, we quit it, we over.

I've had the entrée, and now I'm back to the apps,

the dating apps.

I was all over the apps

before I met you, Ollie.

Well, I-- I also dabbled, you know.

Last Gasp. Yeah.

-Old-Gasm. -

-Silver Shrivel. -

Help... I've fallen in love--

And I can't get it up.

- Hey, guys? -

Hey, guys, um, let's focus on Rainey.

-Oh, yeah. Okay, sorry. -Because where was she

the night of the murders?

And what did Sofia give her in the plaid bag?

You know, Oliver, since you're from Brooklyn--

Oh, sure, send the Brooklynite to Brooklyn.

I thought you young people were against profiling.

Anyway, Rainey hates me.

Hm, but she doesn't know me.

Or Emily Lawler.

Emily Lawler, the-- the detective I played on SVU .

-Oh. Uh, yes, yes, yes, yes. Right. -Yeah, it was a small part, but I mean...

She had a great chunky Cajun drawl,

you know, and she had a great backstory.

She, um...

...she fell down a well as a child.

Her backstory was that she was in a well?

She fell down a well as a child.

She was down a well three days, just her and the 'gator.

I had a whole monologue about it.

It was gonna be my breakout, I thought.

But then, they cut it, and they just pulled the whole episode,

and you know, who knows why.

- Is it too long? Maybe. -Eh...

But what is long?

-I mean, if you-- - I think this

may be too long.

Okay, but I just wanted to be Emily Lawler,

because I've had a-- a really bad day,

and I don't wanna be me.

-I don't... -Oh, babe. Baby, baby, baby.

- -Let's-- Let's go to Brooklyn.

You show me your hometown, 'kay?

-Okay, okay. -Okay.

And do you still have the trench coat from Death Rattle Dazzle?

...buck naked without her trench coat.

I love that we can share clothes.

- - We can share.

Quirky.

-I'm here for a finger. -Charles!

-Finally! -

I hate having a body part in my freezer.

I wake up for a midnight snack and it's Haagen-Dazs, finger,

Haagen-Dazs, finger.

-Damn. -I know.

Without the hand, it looks kinda lonely.

No, I mean "damn," as in, this is just ice.

-What? -Someone fingered your finger.

Well, there's no signs of forced entry.

How's it look in there?

Anything outta place? Anything missing?

Everything seems the same.

Oh, shit, y'all got the big, nice ice cubes.

I love the big, nice ice cubes, make you feel rich.

-Well, it's the little things, I guess. -

Wait a minute. What's that?

Maybe the finger thief left it?

Oh wait, no.

I might have. I'm trying something new.

Uh, boots with rubber soles, very cool.

Housekeeper must've overlooked this. I'll take a photo.

-She appreciates, uh, visual feedback. -

Don't we all?

Charles, when was the last time you laid eyes on the finger?

When we put it in the freezer.

Great, so it could have been stolen anytime in the last week.

-Mm-hmm. -

Oh.

Last Gasp notification.

-I'm talking to someone very nice. - Oh, yeah?

And what's her kinks, huh?

Murdering? Dealing? Hitting and running?

You know what? I deserve that.

But that's why I'm trying online dating to meet someone good for a change.

And have you?

-Mm. -Okay, you're being cute.

Let me see a pic.

Yep.