Legit

So, Jim, how are you feeling?

Dr. Pinsky told me that you are having some issues?

Dr. Pinsky?

Oh, that's Dr. Drew's real name.

Why wouldn't he just call himself Dr. Drew?

Drew's short for Andrew.

Yeah, but Dr. Pinsky's a good name.

Is Drew so snappy that he... what?

What... he got an ego on him, does he?

Does he like to be called after his first name?

Does he think he's Madonna or Cher or some...

Do you want to spend the whole session talking about Dr. Drew?

There you go. Even you call him Dr. Drew.

He... he says I'm, uh... I'm depressed.

Are you?

Well, my career

is not where I want it to be, you know?

Um, I've sort of plateaued.

Actually, no, let's be honest. It has dropped.

I live with my two friends Billy and Steve.

Um...

Billy has muscular dystrophy.

And, uh, Steve... he's drinking way too much.

So...

It's like I'm taking care of two disabled people.

Oh, while you're writing...

Dr. Drew thinks I'm a sex addict...

'Cause I wank on planes.

And he says that's wrong.

But I've never seen a sign that said not to.

Oh, the... the little "No Smoking" sign...

that's always up there.

There's never been a "No Wanking" sign

right next to it that bleeps on.

"Wanking... you can't do it on the plane.

"We have detectors in the bathroom in case you do.

It's a federal offense."

I... you know, I don't see what the big problem is there.

It's not like I do it in my seat.

You know, Jim, while you're sorting through this rut,

this funk of yours,

I think it would be good for you to be of service to others,

not just your roommates.

I think you'll find it very rewarding.

I don't know about this whole therapy thing.

They don't really do anything.

They give you no practical advice.

Everything's just, like, talking.

It's like, "How does that make you feel?"

"Why would you do that?" "Please put that down."

"Does that make you angry?" You know?

Yeah, it makes me angry.

I'd rather just talk to you guys.

What's wrong with him?

Danny.

Spazzy Danny?

Yes, spazzy Danny.

What's up with spazzy Danny, besides muscular dystrophy?

He can't play video games anymore.

Why can't he play video games anymore?

- His thumbs. - Thumbs?

Yeah. You know, the thumbs are usually the last thing to go.

Billy, when did your thumbs stop working?

Stop it, Jim.

Billy's thumbs went years ago.

Billy used to go over there all the time and watch him play.

He was kind of like a coach to him.

Huh. Well, I guess neither of them could play the Wii, so...

Steve, let's go.

- Jim, you're an asshole. - You are.

Billy, I'm joking. It was just a joke. Where are you going?

I'm going over there to try to cheer him up.

Maybe I'll go over there and cheer him up.

How are you gonna cheer him up?

Welcome to the Shady Grove residential care comedy show.

I'm actually here to, uh, support my friend Danny here.

G'day, Danny.

Okay, so, there's two types of couples in the world, isn't there?

There's the couples that have dogs,

you know... those annoying couples?

They have a dog.

And then there's the other couples that have actual children.

So, the people that have dogs, they act like it's their child,

but it's really not their child, is it, 'cause what happens

if the girlfriend's away on work and the dog dies?

What do you do?

You go off and buy another dog

that looks very similar to the original dog,

and you try to pass it off as the same dog.

No, no, no.

Rodney, mate, that's, uh... that's not the end of the joke.

Okay. You sure?

Pr... yeah. Yep. Sure.

So, okay, so, you go off and buy a dog

looks very similar to the original dog,

try to pass it off as the same dog.

But what happens if your girlfriend's away on work

and the baby dies?

_

Hilarious!

No, that's... please, Rodney, n...

I get it!

- No, you don't. - Yes, I do.

- No, you don't. - Yes, I do.

- That's not the end. - Yes, it is.

Look. When the joke ends,

I'll make it very obvious,

but don't laugh until I... I'll point it out, okay?

I'll give you a signal, and then laugh.

So I'll go like this, and then you laugh.

Not now!

At the end of the joke.

So don't do it right now when I do that.

But I'll... I'll be...

Some of his best stuff.

- He's shit! - All right, let's just wrap this up.

The dog's already dead. They replaced the dog.

So what happens if your girlfriend goes away on work

and the baby dies?

Very hard to get a baby that looks exactly the same

in the short period of time that you have.

All right, Danny's getting it.

Yeah. Yeah, eas... easier if they're black or Asian.

Hey! Hey, Danny, don't be racist.

I'm not saying 'cause they look the same.

I'm saying 'cause they're easier to purchase.

Crash cart to the rec room, stat.

Am I right? If... if Angelina Jolie

and Madonna has taught us anything,

it's that you can buy black and Asian... - Hey! Hey!

- Children. - Stop talking.

- Oxygen. - Danny?

Yeah, look, uh, I want to point out that

- Shut up! - that's not a racist joke.

- It's more of a commentary on society. - Breathe. Danny, come on.

- Jim, stop it! - I'm not racist, so you know.

- Thank you. Thank you. - Come on. Come on.

Come on. Take a breath. Breathe.

Thank God Danny saved me. I was dying.

Danny, breathe!

Danny.

He's gone.

- I killed. - Stop it.

Laughter is the best medicine.

You kill him!

That was the last one...

last one in my original group.

There were six of us.

We all got diagnosed around the same time,

shared the same pain, same trials.

We really bonded.

All five of them are dead.

"The Funky Bunch."

Oh, that's right.

I'm sorry, Rodney?

They were called "The Funky Bunch."

"Funky Bunch?"

Marky Mark was very popular at the time.

Of course. That's why you

were called "The Funky Bunch."

We were 14! Stop!

"The Funky Bunch" is over!

Honey? Honey, I just heard.

Are you okay?

Oh, Jesus.

Oh, mom, it happened so suddenly.

I mean, Jim was just up there telling jokes,

- and then... - Jim, you killed Danny?

No. No, I went down there to help.

I was doing a show. That's all.

What was the joke?

Walter!

What? I want to know!

The one where Angelina Jolie buys blacks.

And the Asians.

That's a good one.

Walter!

That's a good j... you got any beer?

The fridge.

He killed him, Walter!

No, he didn't, mom. Danny was old!

He was like 34!

He never should've lived past 30!

Good one.

Nice, Steve.

Now, every day that

Billy's still with us,

it's a blessing and a curse, I'll tell you.

You know, on the one hand,

he's around so we can enjoy him,

but on the other,

the poor guy's suffering.

Yeah, dad, we get it.

"Billy's suffering. Billy lost his friend."

Stevie boy...

don't "Stevie boy" me, dad.

What is the matter with you?

I'll tell you what's the matter with me.

I'm sick and tired of everybody pretending

like Billy's the only one with problems.