American Horror Story

_

It's 6:30 on election night, and, as you can see,

the turnout looks to be historic.

The post-work rush has begun in earnest.

Will the blue wall of Michigan, Wisconsin

and Pennsylvania stand tonight?

The smart money says yes, even though it appears

in early exit polling that turnout

in the more traditionally Democratic counties,

such as Wayne and Genesee, seems lower than usual.

One thing that's certainly not low on either side tonight:

passion. Back to you, Bob.

That was good, but let's do one more time.

I forgot to mention Saginaw County.

Honestly, I wouldn't bother. Bob says

he doesn't think he's gonna use any cutaways or bumpers

- during the election coverage tonight. - Well, then what the fuck

am I doing here? Why didn't anyone tell me?

Something wrong, Beverly?

Eat shit, Serena.

Well, aren't you a nasty woman?

Have you voted yet?

I have to jump the line

and pull the lever for HRC.

Bob asked me to sit in on the coverage desk with him tonight.

What the hell you know about politics?

You were in the damn traffic copter until two months ago.

How about you stop being

one of those women that needs

to drag down successful women

in order to feel good about herself?

It's my turn now.

Excuse me.

Madam President.

And in our lifetime.

This pussy grabs back. This pussy grabs back.

- This pussy grabs... - Keep it down, ladies.

Down with the patriarchy.

This pussy grabs back. This pussy grabs back.

Look at this mess of humanity.

Don't you think people should have to pass some sort of test

to earn the right to vote?

Do you think you'd pass it?

Of course not. That's my point.

I mean, who am I to vote?

I can see me voting for the Emmys or the Globes,

but I'm not nearly informed enough to pick our president.

Remember,

no funny business or protest votes or anything.

Honey, don't worry.

I want to be part of history, just like you do.

- Out of the way. - Thank you.

- Hi. - Hi.

This man needs to vote.

- Let's go. - Sure. I need his...

Oh, my God. He needs a doctor.

My name is Gary K. Longstreet.

This is my polling station, and I will cast my vote!

Okay. Okay.

Come on! This man has a right to vote!

Yes.

Welcome to Trump's America, motherfuckers!

Just one day since election day, and it's still stunning to watch.

- Kai? - Hey.

Hey. Harrison Wilton.

They assigned me to be your trainer.

I requested you.

- Really? - Yes.

Wow. That's awesome. Did someone recommend me?

No. No, I-I saw you out on the gym floor.

You look strong.

Oh, cool.

But, I mean, there are bigger guys here,

if that's the kind of workout you're looking for.

No, no, no. Don't get me wrong.

I mean, you could move a dead body if you had to.

I just meant you look...

strong.

Okay. Well, thank you.

So, uh, I like to start

by asking people what their goals are.

World domination.

_

I'm really grateful you requested me.

Three clients dropped me today

because of post-election economic anxiety.

So, what flavor of gay are you?

Uh...

Versatile.

Are you gay?

See, this is what I'm talking about.

Labels.

"Diversity" starts with D-I-V,

which is also the first three letters of "divide."

Gay, bisexual, transgender...

These are labels created by the leftists.

They want to split us apart, create special interest groups

that put themselves over the greater good of the community.

A man with no label

has an allegiance only to what is right.

Wow.

You're a lot smarter than most of the guys that come in here.

- Yeah. - What kind of work do you do?

Computers. Coding.

I guess they call us app developers now.

I dig it. It lets me work from home.

Honestly, money's never really been my thing.

I was kind of a freak when I was a kid.

I tested at a genius level at ten.

I was invited to join Mensa at 14.

Right now, I'm mostly just focused on politics.

Changing the world and all that shit.

Trying not to be intimidated.

That's normal.

Listen... I like pussy.

But if someone is in my life,

man or woman,

and they're a part of my crew, one of my people,

I will fight for them.

I will kill for them.

I got it.

And if they wake up in the morning

with a hard-on that won't quit,

I will find a way to make sure they know how much I love them.

Same time tomorrow?

Yeah.

Hey, dudes. You getting a good pump?

Remember my motto: go heavy or go home.

Did you come up with that yourself?

I've heard it before, but not in any

official capacity, you know?

When you're done here, clean-up in aisle four.

Oh, come on, man. Can't someone else do that?

One of the maintenance guys?

No can do, compadre.

I just canned half of them. No more undocumenteds.

- Welcome to the N.W.O. - Well, I don't care.

Get one of the other trainers to do it.

Just put on

some rubber gloves, do what I tell you, shut the fuck up.

Good talk.

What's clean-up aisle four?

Uh, sometimes guys jerk off in the steam room,

and someone has to hose down the jizz.

He makes you do that 'cause you're gay?

That's humiliating.

Story of my life.

Tomorrow.

Hello?

I'll clean that up myself.

Protests grow against the soon-to-be 45th president

from people unable or unwilling to accept his victory.

The "help wanted" sign is definitely out tonight

at Trump Tower where the newly-elected...

Hey, girl. What's the latest

travesty in Trumpland?

Something about the son-in-law

trying to oust the fat guy from Jersey.

I mean, I guess it's some kind of revenge for his dad.

I don't know. The whole thing is just like a bad reality show.

Yeah. Let's turn it off.

I'd rather get drunk and binge Million Dollar Listing.

scan their grassland environment

for signs of prey,

especially antelope and hares.

Meadow?

Hey, what's wrong, hon?

I messed up.

By contrast, otters, wolves and dolphins live in...

What?

Oh, my God. The bank is foreclosing on us?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

How long have you known about this?

That says we need to be out of here in three days.

I didn't want to cause you any stress.

They're going to evict us from the house, Meadow.

When were you gonna tell me, when the sheriff was here

to throw us out?

How the hell did this happen?

You said we were on solid ground.

Well, it can't be that much of a surprise.

Our mortgage is

$1,500 a month.

We're not bringing enough in

on your income alone.

My income? So you're blaming it on me?

No, no, no, you handle the money, Meadow.

This is all your fault.

It's my fault?

It's my fault that I got melanoma

and had to go on disability?

It's my fault

that you guilt-tripped me

into taking a job at a craft store

where the manager sexually harassed me

every day until I had to quit?

That's my fault, Harrison?

Jesus Christ, we're gonna be homeless.

Listen, I don't need this house,

and I don't need any of the things in it, all right?