Dark, Deadly & Dreadful

Trick or treat.

My god.

You scared me.

I didn't, I didn't know anybody else was in here.

Hello?

Are you okay?

I need a tampon.

Of course.

You know what, I think I have one, actually.

Let me check.

You know what, I don't.

Sorry.

Why won't you help me?

Help me.

My god!

What the?

My god!

My god, get me outta here!

Please.

God, no!

Somebody, help me!

Please, somebody help me!

Somebody help me! - Shh.

Open up.

Open up.

Please, please.

Please, just let me go.

Please help me.

Shh, it'll be over soon.

Please.

This is gonna hurt.

And we're gonna use some of the barbecue sauce

on the top of the ribs.

It's all in the wrist.

Use a brush like this and go back and forth,

back and forth with a twist.

And that's it.

That's your Mexican style ribs.

You're gonna love it.

Doris, what's for dinner?

How about leftovers?

No, not leftovers again.

You're killing me.

Well, I could defrost something.

Liver?

This stuff's been in there long enough

to start its own ice age.

Fine.

Then let's go out.

Now you're talking.

I feel like Italian.

You know, lately, it's made me gassy.

How about Chinese?

I'd rather have Thai.

Whoa.

Can we help?

Well, my alternator's out.

Can I get a ride?

It'd be our pleasure.

Really?

You sure it's no trouble?

Like I always say, lend a hand, get a hand.

Well, thanks.

You saved my life.

My name's Steve.

It's nice to meet you, Steve.

Let me go get my things.

Where are you folks headed?

To the food court.

There's always something to eat there.

Well, not now.

You take me home and the steaks are on me.

We wouldn't dream of it.

It's such an imposition.

Are you kidding?

I mean it's the least I can do for you folks helping me out.

Take your next left up here.

Like this?

Back and forth, back and forth with a twist.

You got it, Steve.

Don't overcook those.

Robert likes his meat still bleeding on the plate.

Steven, I hope you don't mind.

I found your wire rack.

No, not at all.

I'd like to make a toast.

To a couple of lifesavers.

And a great dinner.

Robert, is that all you think about?

A guy's gotta eat.

I need to get something inside.

Robert, can you watch the grill?

It'd be my pleasure.

Thanks.

Robert, get in here.

Doris, he's awake.

Shit!

That hurt!

What were you planning?

What?

Nothing, I was just gonna take your wallets.

You're a liar.

I swear, I swear.

What are you gonna do?

Are you gonna call the cops?

How's your head?

What, my head?

Yes, your head.

I put a little something in your wine.

You did?

I did.

She did.

He must work out.

He didn't stay down.

Gosh, I hope we don't have to use the second dose.

It might spoil the meat.

No, it's okay.

He should be awake for this.

Lean.

He does work out.

Honey, could you hand me the forks.

No, no!

A little to taste here.

I like it rare too.

Did I get it?

Shh, we're trying to eat.

No!

Let me have a stab at it.

Go at it.

What are you fucking gonna do?

It's so fresh, it's hopping off the fork.

It is.

Isn't that good?

Steve, you should try this.

My goodness, that's good.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

You're always so thoughtful.

Honey, how much do you want me to cut off to grill?

Just keep cutting.

You know how hungry I get.

I love to eat.

Thanks for dinner.

The bags are heavy.

Yes, they are.

Here, let me help.

Thank you.

Eat in tonight?

It's really fresh.

I thought maybe we could...

Grab some Mexican?

Perfect.

Hey.

Hi.

Come on in.

What are you wearing?

You look fucking hot.

How about we take this off?

No, no, no.

Come on.

Hey, Sean.

Did you forget about the party?

I remembered.

That's why I wore my good sneakers.

Huh.

Thank you so much for going with me.

Are you drunk?

No.

I had a few beers.

So you want me to drive us there?

Or better yet, fuck the party.

Don't you wanna start going out as a couple?

No.

Well, if you really don't wanna go out,

I guess maybe I can stay here with you for a little bit

and then just go out later.

You are so cool.

I love you.

I mean, I love you.

I'm not in love with you.

Hey!

Excuse me for a minute.

Miranda!

Come on, I wanna be inside you!

Baby?

Shit!

Hey, come on, I'm losing it.

Wake up.

What the fuck.

My god.

What's going on, baby?

Is it your back?

Just a minute.

What am I looking for again?

It's a string.

I don't feel any string.

Well, it's fucking in there.

Okay, okay.

Here it is.

I've got it.